Part of the Bay Area News Group

Don’t kill the clown

By Tony Hicks
Friday, April 2nd, 2010 at 1:22 pm in Uncategorized.

Really – is Ronald McDonald personally responsible for your kid being a lazy round tub of human mayonnaise?

A group called Corporate Accountability Intl. says Ronald McDonald himself is fueling childhood obesity and needs to go away.

(If you watch the following video, be patient. The payoff is worth it.)

I don’t mean to abandon my typical, pathetic commie viewpoint that nothing is anyone’s fault … but Ronald McDonald isn’t the one shoving Big Macs down your kid’s throat. You are.  Or your kid is.

Any kid old enough to get to McDonald’s on their own, isn’t lured their by a freakish red-headed clown with giant, misshapen shoes. They want fast, semi-yummy (when you’re young) food that doesn’t cost a lot.  

And if it’s the younger kids who want McDonald’s because they somehow aren’t terrified by a cheeseburger-pushing clown, then it’s the parents fault for taking them there. Believe me – unlike a lot of you, I was a kid once. I ate McDonald’s because it was yummy – and I still had a metabolism. That and back in the 70s, people didn’t give a rat’s ass what their kids ate. Because nobody knew all the crap that was in it. Which is why now – in 2010 – I won’t take my kids to McDonald’s. Well, not very often, anyway. I myself stopped eating McDonald’s that fateful day many years ago when I accidentally placed a napkin atop a hamburger bun and it came away looking like I’d just dipped it in a five-gallon drum of grease. That and the fact that, as an adult, within ten minutes of finishing McDonald’s, I feel worse than five hours after finishing off a liter of generic tequila. Not that I’ve ever done that – much. I’m just saying.

Sure there’s a problem with what kids eat. But killing the clown doesn’t matter. Maybe some of these hysterical groups in desperate need of hobbies should try banning bad parents instead.

[You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.]

2 Responses to “Don’t kill the clown”

  1. vinnie ballgame Says:

    um, what kinda generic tequila?

  2. Tony Hicks Says:

    The stuff in the plastic 1.75 liter bottle, with the bright yellow label that cleverly says “Tequila.” It may not be around anymore – the last time I saw it was high school.

Leave a Reply