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Biggest WTF ever?

By Tony Hicks
Thursday, April 29th, 2010 at 1:36 pm in Uncategorized.

I was going to blog about a happy little tale of a woman trying to bite a man to death, but decided to forgo the comedy (unless you’re that guy, it’s comedy) when I saw the following capsule on The Daily Beast, concerning that exploding oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico lacking an off switch.That’s right. No OFF SWITCH.

“Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano declared the massive disaster in the Gulf of Mexico a “spill of national significance” on Thursday, meaning federal resources will now be directed at cleanup—with the bill going to BP, the operator of the sunken rig that caused the leak. Oil is expected to wash ashore in the Mississippi Delta on Friday. The Wall Street Journal reports the spill could have been prevented by a simple remote “off” switch, which the rig lacked. The oil spill is now estimated to be five times as big as previously thought—likely bigger than the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989. BP’s Chief Operating Officer Doug Suttles admitted to the new figure on NBC’s Today show Thursday morning. “We’ll take help from anyone,” Suttles said of the clean-up efforts. Crews began setting the oil on fire Wednesday to control environmental damage. Eleven workers missing from the BP rig are thought dead.”

This is so stupid, I don’t even know what to say.

This would be an AWESOME time for the president to pander to Congressional Republicans by proposing  to expand offshore oil drilling. Because these people, after all, are professionals who know what they’re doing. Except when it comes to installing off switches. And not wiping out ecosystems. And not killing workers.

According to, since 2001, there have been 69 offshore deaths, 1,349 injuries and 858 fires and explosions in the Gulf, according to the federal Minerals Management Service.

Can you imagine the public outcry would be if one of these were caused by Al-Queda? Then suddenly people would cry and wave flags for all those poor sea otters and duckies dying from oil in their lungs. By God, no damned terrorist comes over here and screws with AMERICAN OTTERS AND DUCKIES!

Otherwise, who cares? Cash those checks from the oil industry and Drill, baby, drill!

I don’t mean to get political – because this isn’t the place for it and, let’s face it, I don’t know jack. I know there’s no stopping the oil industry, and we can’t until alternative energy becomes affordable and feasible. And until someone can show that there’s tremendous profit in clean energy.

But c’mon – we don’t even require these guys to put off switches on their stupid oil rigs? I know, I know – too much oversight leads to socialism …

Let’s keep putting so much responsibility for the environment, not to mention the lives of workers, on the shoulders of people  who we can’t trust to put off switches on oil rigs.

Drill, baby, drill!

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3 Responses to “Biggest WTF ever?”

  1. Crazy Kev Says:

    You, the author, have definately put YOUR FOOT in YOUR MOUTH. How stupid do you have to be to attempt to suggest that we can put an off switch on a rig that is removing crude, under pressure, that will stop the flow of crude. You dumb a%# fool! The pressure of the crude is not controlled by the drilling crews, it come out of the ground under pressure that we attempt to control. When the crude pushes too hard it can break the equipment that is connected. It is not going to stop because we have an OFF switch. Your credibility has sunk into negative numbers.

  2. Koop Says:

    You keep saying you don’t mean to get political but I love it when you do :)

  3. sue denim Says:

    For my next book, I’m thinking of a title “What Ever Happened to On and Off Switches?”

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