So Channel 7′s Dan Noyes was doing a story on allegations that Laguna Honda administrator’s used money that was gifted to patients for catered meals and flights, among other allegations. That’s not very fun. What is fun, however, is Laguna Honda’s annoying PR guy, Marc Slavin, trying to divert Noyes from talking to hospital director Mivic Hirose.

I admit the PR guy’s job is to deal with the press, but instead of talking to Noyes like he’s a child and repeatedly touching him when Noyes repeatedly asks him not to, maybe Slavin should’ve done what a good flak would’ve done: make a deal to get him a statement after the meeting, or at least a few minutes with the director, after the hospital folks can circle the wagons and get their stories straight. Noyes is sort of annoying as well, but he’s got a point: don’t touch strangers and don’t touch people’s cameras.

A colleague asked me what I would’ve done if I was Noyes. I have a feeling I would’ve knocked the guy’s arm away long before Noyes did.  Or pulled out my flamethrower and let him have it.

The Washington Post is reporting that during the 2003 invasion of Iraq, the CIA was knocking around the idea of discrediting Saddam Hussein by creating a video of the dictator having sex with an underaged boy. Which, of course, wouldn’t go over so well in Iraq. Read the rest of this entry »

But you already knew that. Read the rest of this entry »

While I’m still trying to process my grief over the passing of Ronnie James Dio – that’s no joke, you jerk – I must share this clip from Clerks 2. Read the rest of this entry »

I wrote this column for Thursday, detailing how we’ve been playing hide-and-seek with the guy from Fed Ex the past week. Basically, the delivery guy has replaced the cable guy as the world’s most irritating, so-called customer servicer.

But since I wrote the column Monday morning, I have an update:  Though my wife spoke with them and they PROMISED to leave the damn thing on our porch because, as good Americans, we work all day – not that some of you unemployed folks aren’t good Americans – we’re just better.

But just in case, my wife left the last delivery slip on the front door, on which she signed the thing in the box that says “Sign here if you want us to drop the package and run.” Which we do, so she did.

So I stopped by home this afternoon, morbid curiosity finally getting the better of me as to when this nightmare would end. And – I swear to God – there was ANOTHER “missed delivery” slip on the door … right next to the one we’d taped up, with my wife’s signature, telling them to leave the stupid package.

Nope. Not yet. I have a feeling this situation – starring a woman who has incredibly deadly skills with a hunting bow – isn’t going to end well.

Aren’t these guys supposed to be out shooting terrorists?

I love the story about the five “patriotic” boys at Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, who wore American flag shirts to school in the Hispanic-heavy (as opposed to heavy Hispanics) school on Cinco de Mayo. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes it seems like an absolute miracle that something of 9/11 proportions hasn’t happened the past eight-plus years. Read the rest of this entry »

One of the big rules of the human race is not to call a woman fat. Especially one big enough to do some damage to your person. Read the rest of this entry »