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Archive for June, 2010

Tony Hicks: Greatest diet ever

Matt McClellan is my new hero. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
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Tony Hicks: Vacation rules

Just spent three days on Catalina, and was pleasantly surprised as I always thought the place was kind of like Angel Island with a few hotels and something called a casino. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Monday, June 28th, 2010
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The invisible phone

Perhaps showing why his team got beat like a gong  in World Cup play, the North Korean soccer coach tells ESPN that he regularly gets advice from North Korean leader Kim Jong-il during games, via calls on an invisible phone. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
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Wise advice

It’s always good to see world leaders having their priorities straight and making sound decisions that make the world a better place.

An influential Iranian cleric has recently issued a fatwa on … dogs. They’re dirty, he says. Oh …

Sounds like someone is a cat person. Or absolutely out of his mind.

I try not to make fun of people living in the Middle Ages because of their religious beliefs – mostly because I’m afraid they’ll find out and kill me – but nobody picks on dogs on my watch.

Ok, so I don’t exactly know what “my watch” means. But doesn’t Iran have bigger fish to fry than picking on dogs?

Posted on Monday, June 21st, 2010
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Sneaky monsters

I’m on vacation this week  – mostly to avoid paying trillions of dollars in day camp fees. Had someone told me how much summer camp was for kids, I would never have had any. Or majored in something else in college and got a real job. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
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I’m a total Big Leaguer …

I just got back from the doctor, who told me that I have a partially torn rotator cuff in my shoulder. To which I said: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Wednesday, June 9th, 2010
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Groin slap game? Really?

If there wasn’t enough proof that kids are, for the most part, stupid, then this would be the clincher. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
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Driving naked and drunk

I do my best never to be naked – even in the shower – for fear I may accidentally look in a mirror and pass out. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
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Man shoots own TESTICLES?

That was maybe the most difficult sentence I’ve ever written. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010
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I’m a sissy

Well, I am. I almost – almost – got misty watching this video of a toddler/baby hearing his mother’s voice for the first time, after getting hearing implants for his deafness.

I, however, would not be such a sissy if I had the chance to use a mile-long robotic arm to grab the chairman of BP and jam him into the hole leaking oil in the gulf, thereby solving two problems at once.

But just when things seemed truly dire, there’s a hero on the horizon. Director James Cameron who, like,  knows about underwater equipment and stuff because he made “Titanic,” and loves the environment, on account of he made “Avatar,” is being consulted by the government for ideas he may have over stopping the oil flow. The idea that Cameron may know more about shutting down an oil leak than a giant oil conglomerate that we let do pretty much whatever it wants off our coasts, is beyond incredible – even more incredible than the New York Times reporting that there were more than 13,000 golf cart injuries in 2006.

Just imagine what happens if Cameron solves the problem. They won’t be able to get his ego inside a blimp hangar. He really will be the King of the World. He’ll never buy a drink in New Orleans again … which suddenly makes me want to study-up on oceanography.

Posted on Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010
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