Perhaps showing why his team got beat like a gong  in World Cup play, the North Korean soccer coach tells ESPN that he regularly gets advice from North Korean leader Kim Jong-il during games, via calls on an invisible phone.

That’s right. An INVISIBLE phone.

The coach says the Supreme Leader – who once claimed to have invented the hamburger and supposedly was disappointed in scoring only five holes in one the first time he played golf - invented the technology himself.

I can’t tell you how comforting we should all find it that this man has nuclear weapons.