Matt McClellan is my new hero.

Screw Jared and his stupid Subway diet, or the Taco Bell Drive-thru diet with that crazy looking woman on the cardboard cut-outs. McClellan has devised a PIZZA diet, with which he’s lost 24 pounds and dropped his cholestrol 86 points.

Of course, there’s a catch that may not work for people like me, who like to stretch their mouth as far as possible and jam the entire pizza inside like a Warner Bros. cartoon character. You can only eat  slice every three hours … and have to exercise an hour a day.

Still … it beats all those fake diets saying you shouldn’t eat pizza.  Suck it, Jared.