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Archive for November, 2010

Lady, crazy, claims ownership of sun

That’s not misspelled. It’s “sun.”

A Spanish woman who fancies herself clever has registered the sun as her property with a notary in Spain.

Excuse me while I go pack my bags for Spain. Had I know you could get away with things like this there, I’d have gone years ago. Does anyone know if someone owns “all the air” yet? Just wondering …

Apparently international law forbids nations from claiming ownership of planets or stars. I imagine that was done to keep those rotten commies from stealing the moon.

And yes, I was tempted to make a “Uranus” joke. But I’ve done a lot of growing up since the last time I did one of these (actually – because I’m a great father – I taught my kids the double-meaning and they haven’t shut up about it since, so it’s kind of worn thin).

So Angeles Duran says she’ll now tax people for its use, etc. To which I say: Can you turn that damn thing up in the morning? I can’t even leave the house until 8.

I suppose she hasn’t given much thought to the lawsuits about skin cancer, drought and maintenence (she’s really screwed when it goes supernova, isn’t she).

OK, so she only wants attention, and I’m making things worse, Really, making the world a better place is Bono’s job, not mine. I just like to freshen up everybody’s day by letting them know they’re people out there stupider than you.

Posted on Tuesday, November 30th, 2010
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Leslie Nielsen’s incredible Kung-Fu

To really understand the greatness of Leslie Nielsen is to remember him as a dramatic actor. An incredibly over-dramatic actor Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Monday, November 29th, 2010
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This obviously wasn’t the same turkey

I’ve had a real crush on Sarah Palin this week. I just can’t get enough. Which brings us to one of the most unintentionally funny Thanksgiving videos ever: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Thursday, November 25th, 2010
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Hicks: The Slayer holiday light show

Apologies to the nice lady who e-mailed me a couple days ago after reading my blog, saying she would’ve tuned in earlier, but though it was just about heavy metal. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
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Bad Religion steamrolled SF Friday night

As usual, Bad Religion came to town and pretty much kicked everyone’s ass Friday night. Here’s my review.

You know,

There are very few bands I would still pay to see after all these years and about a gazillion shows. BR’s one of ’em. For my money,  it’s the best punk band America’s ever produced, and the fact that it’s still going strong after 30 years in pretty incredible, considering the usual angry egos of punkers.



And they’re playing tonight, again at the Regency Ballroom in San Francisco. And bless Greg Graffin, for immediately re-establishing his SF punk cred by mentioning how they used to play the Mab. What a foul, disgusting, wonderful place that was …

Posted on Saturday, November 20th, 2010
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Hicks: Hitler had flying saucers

If Hitler wasn’t the standard of overwhelming, destructive, racist, evil for all-time, I might praise him for at least trying on this one. I might … Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Thursday, November 18th, 2010
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Hicks: Victory is MINE (over a kitty cat).

Ah, the sweet smell of victory – or maybe urine – when I walked into my empty, soon-to-be-sold house this morning and found my cat, whining about being trapped inside a humane raccoon trap. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Wednesday, November 17th, 2010
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Hicks: Kids selling illegal cupcakes

Yeah, I thought that too:  Those cupcakes must be “special” cupcakes, with green-flaked cream filling. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
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Hicks: Who let the *%$@?# cat out?

So I moved more than a month ago, but have been going back to my old house every day to feed the cat, who decided she didn’t want to go with us. Yeah, I know – it’s probably me. And no, no one lives there yet, though it’s only a matter of time. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Thursday, November 11th, 2010
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Hicks: New Michael Jackson song

“Breaking News,” the long-awaited – honest – first single from the new Michael Jackson record, which comes out next month (just in time for Christmas, kids!) is streaming on his site. And – if it is him – it sounds pretty good. Better than anything on that shockingly mediocre last album he put out.

Listen to it here.

Of course, Camp Jacko – which has agreed to profit from it, even if it’s Rebbie Jackson actually doing the singing – can’t actually decide whether it’s him or not. Which just goes to show you how connected he and his family really were. Because every time I record a hot new dance single that will make me millions, I always make sure to call my whole family and give them all the details. I guess Tito’s sons would know whether it’s him or not …

Posted on Wednesday, November 10th, 2010
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