I can’t believe I didn’t think of this first.

Wait – yes I can. I’m not even this stupid.

A 42-year-old Illinois man was just busted for having a four-foot-long alligator in a tank at his suburban home, which I guess is illegal or something. Which I’m glad I discovered before I decided to dig that pond.

But the best part of the story – he told the cops he kept the gator to attract women.

Which brings up the question: What kind of woman is attracted to alligators and/or the men who keep them?

A few years ago I did a little experiment to see how easy it would be to get alligators via the Internet and U.S. mail. Shockingly, it wasn’t difficult at all. Even more shockingly, I didn’t actually try it.