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Why the Beastie Boys were really great

I’ve seen so many Beastie Boys tributes, but none of them touched on what I think was the greatest thing about those guys. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Monday, May 7th, 2012
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David Lee Roth gets mad

Holy cow. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Thursday, March 15th, 2012
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Weird Al and an impressionable child

My wife made the mistake of allowing the 9-year-old to watch a Weird Al DVD with the 3-year-old in the room on Friday night. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Monday, March 5th, 2012
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Charlize Theron should act dumber

Do I watch too much Arrested Development? Every time I see Charlize Theron – like that Dior commercial just now where she’s being all glamorous and shaking it on the runway for Dior – why do I think she should be wearing something stupid on her head and babbling incoherently with a British accent?

Posted on Sunday, February 26th, 2012
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Abraham Lincoln was like Buffy, only taller.

So the trailer for “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer” is out, and is causing quite a stir. Because, apparently people didn’t know old Abe was a vamp hunter in addition to all his other notable achievements.

Finally – someone makes a movie holding historical accuracy sacred.

Apparently Abe held a grudge because vampires killed his mother, and was an axe-wielding Ninja. It looks like a terrible amount of fun.  What I’m really concerned about was whether or not the Confederates were really a vampire army. Which would actually explain a lot that, for legal reasons, I can’t get into here. I’m just hoping the North has most of the nukes.

Watch it here.

Posted on Tuesday, February 14th, 2012
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Riot guitarist dies

Mark Reale, a founding guitar player of the incredibly underrated 80s New York metal band Riot (not Quiet), died Wednesday due to complications of Crohn’s disease.

Though they had their ups and downs, the band’s “Fire Down Under” is considered by many (my friends and I) to be one of the greatest hard rock records of its time.  And it still holds up. It was so great that, in an air-jam competition in high school, we did “The Outlaw,” with me so desperate for over-the-top heavy metal accessories, I actually took my mother’s cheese grater and hung it from my belt. And sliced up my hand trying to do fake windmills. I think I was also wearing a red shirt with Japanese writing on it that said something like “I’d like my sushi to go.”

I also saw Riot in 1984, I believe, at Berkeley Community Theater, on the same bill as KISS and Vandenberg. That’s right – KISS had to cram their stage in that venue.

Riot had maybe the strangest mascot of all hard rock mascots back then – a guy with the head of a baby harp seal. I think it was a guy – either that or it was a harp seal with the body of a guy. I still have my Fire Down Under LP – I think I may get it out tonight.

Posted on Thursday, January 26th, 2012
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The greatest thing a wife can say to her husband

I received the following e-mail from my wife this morning. And it was glorious: Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Thursday, January 5th, 2012
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New Green Day

Green Day previewed six new songs at a surprise show Tuesday at the Mezzanine in San Francisco, leading one to believe that it shouldn’t be long before the Easy Bay punk kings release a new record. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Friday, November 4th, 2011
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Lindsay Lohan off to jail

So much for today’s People Column Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
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Birth as art, X-rated Muppet channel, Spock comes out

All that and more, on this week’s version of Three Minute News Throwdown. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted on Tuesday, October 18th, 2011
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