Thanks to Phil, via Kev, for bringing this to my attention.

Manson apparently gets to wear sunglasses and is still sort of a rock star to some very dumb people. His new thing now, according to a couple of followers, is the environment. He no longer wants to incite a race war. He was to fight pollution and get us all back to riding horses.

One of his new little friends is a 20-something girl who moved to California from Illinois to be near him. Because they, like totally, have the same sort of sense of humor. And that she’s always dreamed of being programmed into a wild killing machine after being re-named “Sunflower” or something.

They should keep an eye on these people.

Specifically, I’m looking for people who would like to talk – or even just e-mail me – about the time-honored tradition of screwing up the Thanksgiving turkey with an electric knife. Actually, you don’t have to have stories about screwing it up. Just good stories or thoughts.

Personally, I’m scared to death of the day when someone in the family looks at me and says “Here, it’s your turn.” How the hell do you learn to do this? How do you practice? And how do you tolerate your whole family all day while staying sober enough to actually do it without killing someone?

No. I’ll never be that guy. Never. Some people even carve a turkey while at the table, with everybody looking at them. To me, that would be like trying to give an impromptu speech to the shareholders of Apple without owning a computer. How do you become “that” guy? Is it the first time you host the family Thanksgiving? Is it when grandpa dies? Is it when dad divorces mom and spends Thanksgiving in Vegas with his secretary?  I don’t know. And I need to … because they’re making me write a story about it.

Please help.

Thank you for your time.

I know Grohl, John Paul Jones, and Josh Homme playing together is something that’s easy to get excited about on first listen. They’re playing the Fox Theater in Oakland  Nov. 19, though I think It’s sold out. It better be. I’ll be there - they’re finally letting me out to review a show that night.

Joe Perry told the Las Vegas Sun a couple days ago that he thinks Steven quit the band, but that he doesn’t know as they haven’t spoken. Which makes a regular guy like me ask: How hard is it to call your best friend from the past 40 years and simply ask? When people get famous, do they have to use agents, managers and lawyers to have a simple conversation? Though, after reading Joey Kramer’s book, when it comes to Aerosmith, sounds like that’s the case.

Tyler recently told Classic Rock magazine he doesn’t know what he’s doing, other than it’s going to be “Brand Tyler.” Aerosmith was on a big tour with ZZ Top last summer when several shows had to be cancelled after Tyler fell off the stage Aug. 5 and hurt himself.

Seriously – knock off the drama. Nobody’s quitting Aerosmith. You all make far too much money to do something that stupid. Besides, nobody wants to see your wrinkly butts do anything but play Aerosmith songs.

 
“Parasite,” by Kiss will surely make the list and Judas Priest will be represented, probably either by “Electric Eye” or “Hell Bent for Leather.” Have you ever awoke to the lovely strains of Testament’s “Trial by Fire?” It’s almost romantic.
Your thoughts?

Normally wine is the stuff that, to uncivilized Philistines like myself, means we’re out of everything else. But lately I’ve actually been looking forward to a touch of the grape with dinner. Or before dinner. Or after dinner.
That’s kind of a joke – in case you’re someone who’s considering suing me.
But it’s appeared to me – with apologies to our in-house wine maven Jessica Yadegaren – that wine’s main function is to give certain people a reason to enjoy alcohol while saying they’re above the alcohol-related shenanigans that often accompany other forms of alcohol. That’s California for you. We like to say we believe in social equality while looking down on as many people as possible for any good reason we can think of. If someone spread the word that the social hierarchy was based on green beans, we’d have expensive green bean tasting rooms sprouting up wherever some could build an expensive bed-and-breakfast next to the suddenly “tranquil, lovely and inviting” green bean fields.
But there is something to the notion that not all forms of alcohol are created equal. I’ve been to a vodka bar in Las Vegas where SERIOUS discussions take place on the various qualities of hundreds of vodkas from around the world. And I can understand that (I learned that while many Swedish and Russian vodkas have a powerful, yet-smooth taste, anything made in California – from my experience – generally tastes like you’re licking an interstate highway). The same, no doubt, holds true for wine (that there’s big differences in quality, not that California wine tastes like pavement). I just HATE the idea of going wine tasting, because it seems like such obvious bullpucky. Ninety-nine percent of the people know nothing about what they’re tasting, and are trying to impress someone with whom they’re on a second or third date.
So, baby steps. I’ll try to get over my bias against wine simply because most of the people who take wine SERIOUSLY live in an unrealistic world of misplaced priorities and cars that are so clean that the air isn’t fit for humans. Maybe I’ll even go wine tasting. But it needs to be with someone who’s doesn’t mind having a beer afterward. A good beer.

I have zombies coming out of the ground, gravestones, pirate skeletons hanging from the porch and other associated bloody things lying about. I also have my favorite bug-eyed dwarf skeleton “Eddie” hanging from a tall branch over the lawn. One of the best moments in my life came Halloween night, when I caught an adult in my front yard, taking pictures.
It’s been a busy week, but I’m really procrastinating on this, and it might not be my typical, world-famous laziness. I actually like the stuff. A lot. We have a big, black skeleton head that lights up inside that my wife wants to make permanent decor. I love the idea, though I admit it would probably be a bit much for parents coming by to pick up their precious little ones from a playdate in February.
Besides – Christmas is coming, when I go really insane with the lights and decor. I was thinking about trying to purchase some real reindeer on the Internet this year …

The question is: How bad does it look to still have my Halloween stuff up? And should I care? Or should I leave it up and just intergrate the Christmas stuff in a few weeks, giving the house a “Nightmare Before Christmas” look? I should probably just get off my lazy butt and take the stuff down … still, I just really love coming home at night to zombies crawling out of their graves in my yard. Is that wrong?

A TMZ reporter spent three hours with Arnold Klein, one of Jackson’s many doctors and closest friends. Klein insisted Jackson didn’t molest the boy … he only peed in front of him. And everybody else.
Klein said Jackson also used to pee at Klein’s office … and his house … in front of groups of people.
Oh, that Michael. He was so eccentric.