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That Zampa Guy

By lmclaughlin
Thursday, April 26th, 2007 at 5:31 pm in Lamorinda.

From this week’s column by Mike Zampa:

THERE’S A DISTURBANCE in the animal kingdom. Last month a coyote climbed into the soft drink cooler at a Chicago Subway restaurant. Days before that a mountain lion was suspected of hiding in a Pleasanton basement.
Of the two incidents, the Pleasanton case was scarier because it turns out there was no mountain lion in the basement. Residents now think it was the cable guy. And worse, he may have had plumber’s crack.

No official explanation has been given for these obviously related wildlife anomalies. The suspicion, however, is that they’re the result of global warming. For instance, experts theorize that climate change disoriented the coyote, forcing him to seek refuge among bottles and cans of Diet Dr. Pepper.
If that’s true, it could happen to other species, too.

So here’s a tip: Open your own Subway. Because if global warming afflicts Pamela Anderson, she’ll be looking for a place to stretch out.

Of course it could be that global warming has nothing to do with all of this. In which case Pamela Anderson had better explain what she’s doing in your ice box.

But what then is bringing wild animals — not to mention TV repairmen — into our midst? The answer’s simple: They’re not in our midst, we’re in theirs.

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