I’ve never been a fan for Internet socializing (how can punctuation marks represent feelings?), but even I couldn’t resist joining Facebook’s UPenn Class of 2011—a group of students who, like me, would all be attending the University of Pennsylvania next fall.

As the New York Times reported, these college groups are part of a growing trend that combines the college admissions bubble with the Internet’s takeover of teens’ lives. As of right now, 1036 people have joined our group and the number is climbing every day.

As I see it, this is a fantastic way to acquaint oneself with future classmates. Students come from Korea, Guam, and Kentucky and the Internet is the only method in which we can actually meet each other before setting off to Philadelphia. We can swap stories, experiences, and March Madness picks all within the comforts of our bedrooms.

Yet one of my ’06 friends who went off to college was horrified at the concept. She said that once you’re on campus and meet these people in person, there is a high potential for awkward turtles to ensue. She said we’d have four years to get to know each other—why not wait?

I’m unconvinced. I received some great advice on which foreign languages to take, which airlines to fly with, and which dorms to avoid. Together, all 1,036 of us can contribute something and form together a massive wad of informal information, a lot of the stuff you can’t find on the official website. This swapping of facts and hearsay has prepared me for what I can expect and also encourage me to look into things that I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.

Thus it seems reasonable to use these groups for information. The relationship-building, however, seems faulty. How strong can a relationship be when the only communication has been comments over Facebook? While there are online dating sites, no relationship can spawn until you are actually face to face with the person.

I’ve never made a friend on Facebook, but I see a lot of potential once I arrive on campus. Until we shake hands, however, all of these relationships are simply cyber.

Brian Mertens

Wow.

As March 29 and April 1 come rolling along, I’m not sure if this would be helpful or harmful to read. I’m sure this idea will have a difficult time receiving acceptance from anyone, but it does give this whole college madness an interesting perspective. Props for the swipe at the US News “Best College” rankings.

*This was originally posted at College Confidential. Enter at your own risk–the site is both infuriating and addicting.

Brian Mertens

And I thought it was over. There are a few higher circles of Hell than college applications, and scholarship essays are one of them.

I never want to use the word “passion” again. Or “motivated,” “fascinated,” or “firmly believe.” All this self promotion makes me feel like a Nike ad; my values, heritage, and extra-curricular activities have been written down so many times that they’ve dissolved into clichés.

Sadly, the odds of winning (or earning, depending on how you look at it) are small. Most scholarships are only offered to one or two applicants out of tens/hundreds/thousands of other applicants, a percent that makes Berkeley seem like a cakewalk. With this in the back of my mind, I wonder if my time is well spent. Working at a job will at least secure money but might hinder the progress of (possibly) winning big buck scholarships. I even have to decide which ones are worth pursuing and which ones need to be let go. And with ten percent tuition increases, every cent counts.

Who will be the first web genius to come up with a Common App for scholarships? Unlike FastWeb, it would only be one application (and maybe a few supplements) sent to thousands of corporations/organizations/donors willing to help. Less time, bigger pay off, and a happier existence of the millions out there suffering from Senioritis.

Brian Mertens

After two AP Language classes, fourteen novels, and countless in-class essays, there is only one thing I’ve learned (besides the definition of anaphora).

I really, really don’t want to be an English major.

Brian Mertens

Multiculturalism is as wonderful as it is messy. We promote our differences but we also our similarities; after all, every racial group gets their own prefix of –American. We love ethnic food, but also (though we’re more sheepish to admit it) ethnic jokes, but then only if it’s told by a person of the same color. The first rule when talking about race: do no harm.

Still, any comment or action based on race, no matter how carefully worded or politically corrected, can be interpreted and declared as the R-word: racist. The recent hubbub erupted in the Mount Diablo School District, where school officials organized assemblies for students according to their race in hopes of producing better test scores. Their rationale: pride in their heritage may cause them to do better on standardized testing. And naturally, the R-word has come up from concerned parents.

But here comes the more interesting S-word: segregation. Segregation brings to many Americans’ minds images of Civil Rights struggles and apartheid. As we know it, segregation is evil. We are taught to integrate; we are taught to love diversity; we are taught this integration and diversity is fully American. Unfortunately, all this promotion has caused the inevitable backlash (see: Survivor) against reactionary concepts that say segregation in certain events may be handled appropriately. We need to separate the denotative meaning from the connotative sense. In this case, students were segregated but treated equally and given the same message of taking the test seriously. There was no subordinate group looked down upon and denied any privilege. Yet some of us still feared this separation of races.

Racial hypersensitivity usually stops ideas like the Mount Diablo experiment from ever forming. Every bone in my Royal Blue liberal body tells me that segregation is wrong, that anything can work through unity and integration, but I want to see its possibilities. If we can celebrate achievements in Black History Month, can we incorporate into standardized testing? Would students do this voluntarily? Can this even work? I also question why we are willing to separate students’ test scores along with their race but not the students themselves. Again, the racial tightrope is one of the hardest to balance.

If this experiment succeeds, America may need to reexamine our achievement gap. Thirty minutes of segregation can ultimately lead to a more integrated future, with underrepresented minorities diversifying place of higher education and the professional workforce.

I don’t by any means believe that this should become any sort of policy, local or national. But if we want to start solving educational problems, we need to be open to all rational ideas and experiment. Mount Diablo should be allowed to try something new in an attempt to help their students, and it has shown a good amount of bravery defending their actions from the R and S words. This experiment may fail, but it’s an F the district should be proud of.

-Brian Mertens

Though it seems oh so far away, there will be a time when we seniors are actually accepted into colleges, rather than just anxiously awaiting their replies. Then the choice becomes all ours. And here lies the challenge. How to choose?

You’ve heard from the Princeton Review, your counselors, your parents, and everyone else with a mouth and opinion. You can calculate median SAT scores, the faculty’s Nobel prizes, and even check out the social scene. (Let’s cross University of Chicago off that list.)

But have you considered everything? These four factors may make or break your decision. You just need to know where to look (or smell.) So hop onto the nearest college campus, bring this guide, and select the college of your future.

The Smell: That’s right, take a whiff. Is that ethnic food? Flowers? Sewage? B.O. of a potential roommate? Discover the campus through your nostrils to determine if you’re smelling an olfactory fantasy—or nightmare. Scent is a criminally underused sense when determining colleges, for it can reveal so much. The sum of a college’s parts (from the cafeteria to the gym) contribute to its scent, so don’t ignore it. You only have to breathe in for the true essence of a college.

The Student Newspaper: What’s on the front page? College newspapers are a valuable resource to keep in the know. The best papers have articles which criticize faculty and report student crime, the kind of stuff you won’t find in the college pamphlet. But if you’re reading nothing but crime statistics, you might want to consider enrolling in another college (or at least bringing along some mace.) And if nothing’s going on? If the headline is miniscule (Bike Stolen From Library!), rural Ohio may not provide the excitement you’re looking for. If you like what you read, go for it.

The Mascot and School Colors: As those at Princeton know, it’s hard to pull off orange without looking like a prisoner. It’s also pretty hard to find maroon face paint when rooting for Arizona State. School colors can be a valid, if not shallow, reason to choose your place of higher learning. But placed alongside the school’s mascot, they can reveal the school’s character. UC Santa Cruz’s Banana Slug shows off the school’s more unusual take on the traditional college system. Even more representative is Dartmouth College’s “mascot.” The school banned its former mascot, the Indian, on account of racial stereotyping, and in 2004, a student humor group came up with Keggy the Keg. Anyone who knows about Dartmouth’s social scene will surely see it fitting.

The Bathroom Graffiti: Here’s where the soul of the student body is laid out: through their scrawling. Check for song lyrics, musings, angst ridden proclamations. These are your future classmates, what have they written on your urinal? Try to assign a point total: 1 point for Nirvana, 2 for Voltaire. Subtract a point from every Nietchze comment. Unless you’re into that whole Nihilism thing.

So forget Fiske. All you need are these four handy tips to choose where to spend the best years of your life. Four years and 200,000 dollars later, you’ll thank us.

Brian Mertens

Happy Lonely Singles’ Day!

Valentine’s Day is about all types of love. And even without a sweetheart, I should still be able to express my love for things. So, here it is. Nine things I’m currently in love with.

This song.

This comic.

This man.

This woman.

This search engine.

This show.

This movie.

This radio station.

This video.

Making the single life a little less lonely…

-Brian Mertens

The last book I read about Christianity was The Da Vinci Code.

Or at least that’s what I thought.

My understanding of Christianity has always been foggy. I’ve only been to a church four times and was insulated from other mentions of religion by my public education.

Now that I’m taking AP Lit, I’m missing religious allusions left and right. Moby Dick, Grapes of Wrath, Beloved. I’m not the only one who lets these references fly by. My English teacher recently reported back from an AP Conference where teachers discussed the declining awareness of Biblical allusions. Kids today have been raised in a more secular society, and the results are starting to show.

What does it say if I know nothing about a religion of billions worldwide? Religion and public education have always made a sticky situation, but it’s also a way for young people like me to gain some basic insight in Western Civilization from our books to our laws. My knowledge of other faiths is shaky as well. Islam, Buddhism, Scientology, sure I’ve heard of them. What are they about? Ummm…

Almost all colleges and universities have a comparative religions class (though few require students take them). Why can’t high schools? CollegeBoard believes we can learn macroeconomics, calculus, and Japanese. Why not faiths? The key would be to keep the class objective and based on the facts. If teachers are committed to promoting knowledge and understanding, instead of serving as spokesmen for their own religions, there is no reason why this couldn’t work.

From my secular point-of-view, this class is invaluable. Every day, people are dismissed as Bible thumpers or Islamo-fascists. Learning about our differences at least seems like a way to start understanding how the other side works.

For now, I’ll just have to Wikipedia it.

Brian Mertens

It’s nothing personal, Cody.

It started innocently enough at Christmas. A $20 dollar gift card here, a ten dollar one there. Pretty soon, I was loaded with Barnes and Noble cards. What was I supposed to do? I know that whole thing about supporting local bookstores and fighting corporate power, but perusing magazines with a Starbucks mocha in my hand has a far stronger appeal than I first imagined.

Barnes and Noble is big, impersonal, and corporate—it even has a soundtrack! Still I can’t help but love it. This guilty pleasure becomes even more guilty because independent book stores are being hit hard with competition from corporations like Barnes and Noble and the increasingly powerful Internet. Many people were saddened when you closed on Telegraph, but those in the bookselling business were hardly surprised.

Should I remain faithful to the independent book selling spirit and resist the low prices, long hours, and mochas? My gift cards aren’t running out soon, but your and other bookstores’ time may be. For now my patronage will be half and half; I know I’ll miss you if you’re ever gone.

Brian Mertens

Happy Half Birthday to me! I turn 17…and a half.

Half birthdays don’t get that much respect; they only get this measly little Wikipedia article. They aren’t really the anniversary of anything and only commemorate the fact you’re still half a year away from your actual birthday. The only recognition a half birthday receives is the ability to apply for a driver’s permit when you’re 15 ½. None of that other fun stuff that comes with birthdays.

Maybe it’s just a dream, but a little more recognition would be nice. We have biannual sales, Solstices, and Daylight Savings Observances. Why not birthdays? Every needs a little more time to celebrate, it would boost the economy with extra gift giving, and the world could become a better place. The extra presents would be nice, too.
-Brian Mertens