The Awakening

I experienced my first out-loud Oscar cheer this year, ironically, to me and those who know me, when “La Vie en Rose” won for makeup, of all things; normally, Scarlett, I wouldn’t give a damn, but Marion Cotillard’s transformation to Edith Piaf , from youth through premature aging was just too impressive.

Normally I am silent during Oscars telecasts, unless I have money riding on them or my picks are public, in which case getting ‘em right is a matter of saving face vs. losing face.
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I might make a snarky remark, say about the black tent/toga worn by indie icon Tilda Swinton - but her delightful enthusiasm and candor in accepting the supporting-actress gold for “Michael Clayton” made be want to keep my snark to myself.

I had a similar inclination to snark at the fur trim covering Penelope Cruz’s decolletage - shameful waste in the mind of every healthy all-American male.

But I wanted to at least aim for the higher road, especially when I found myself shedding my cynicism and cheering for my best-actress favorite, Cotillard, when she, too, picked up the gold.

I was actually happy. It was a stunning portrayal in what was otherwise an uneven downer. And it upset the “sure thing” in this year’s competition: Julie Christie - also excellent, - for “Away From Her.”

Upsets always give cheer, especially when they’re about an award going to the most deserving.

Diablo Cody solidified the anti-snark, for this Oscars telecast and, perhaps, beyond.

The favorite to win for original screenplay for “Juno,” the little movie that could, the former stripper was wearing some sort of thin, shimmery leopard-like frock cut so high she held it closed as she walked up to the stage to receive her award.

Add the fact that she was covered with tattoos and her look was all about “weird” or “odd,” “inappropriate” or, simply, “out of place,” or so the snarker would be tempted to say.

And then Diablo Cody spoke, radiating sincerity: And she ended her speech with the clincher, letting the tears finally spill as she walked off: “And most of all I’d like to thank my family for loving me exactly as I am.”

And there it was.

And there it is.

She feels free to express herself -and damn the naysaying, naythinking, disapproving snarkers.

Why? Because she grew up feeling loved and accepted by the people who matter most; her family, clearly extending with the making of “Juno.”

Bravo, Dakota.

You convinced me to tear up my snarking license.

And it feels good.

“The blues is a woman you cannot have,” Garrison Keillor said, in character, on his radio show.

Which made me think: The blues is a woman you cannot not have, too.

I’d been reading Robert B. Parker’s “Talk Radio,” a mystery featuring his Jesse Stone character.

Tom Selleck plays Stone in the “Jesse Stone” TV movies, and he really captures the man’s world- and woman-weariness.

I had just finished the book and was mulling when I heard the Keillor remark.

It hit home, tapping into residue from the novel and from my personal life.

First, the Stone connection (it’s easier to address).

In Parker’s series, Stone is a police chief in a small, Eastern seaboard town. He’s also an alcoholic. (I’m not.)

His drinking led to his losing his job as an L.A. homicide detective - it’s in the first Stone book; can’t recall the title - and contributed to his divorce.

He’s still hung up on his ex; he admits it, sees a shrink about that and other things, and is up front about it in his relationships.

He feels the pull even though another reason for their breakup was her sleeping with other men.

She’s much younger than he, ambitious, and freely admits she sleeps with other men to help further her career.

Despite everything, she still has her hooks in him. And, in his own way, he’s OK with that.

The apparently unbreakable bond is among the things that keep him drinking - athough he’s gotten better about it - because his ex is a woman he cannot not have.

He still loves her, he tells anyone who asks. And although that doesn’t keep him from getting involved with other women, it creates, if not a wall or an inability to achieve intimacy - from his perspective - as an inconvenience.

It keeps him tethered to his ex. And her frequent calling him for support and her moving near him don’t help.

You see, she can’t not have him; yet, she doesn’t want to be married to him. She won’t stop sleeping with others.

Yet she often feels sad, or helpless, without him.

And so he drinks.

It’s why therapists get rich.

In my own case, the thing about women I could not (note the past tense) not have was more about staying in relationships longer than was healthy.

Sometimes, it was because of what seemed at the time like love.

Sometimes it was the sex; other times, perhaps all, it was an unwillingness to cut loose and have to deal with: the absence, the emptiness, the loss, the abyss.

Those and other words all apply, each as a euphemism for being alone again.

And then one day I woke up. And I let go.

An ongoing theme of this blog: Although I am happier in a healthy relationship than alone, being with me (or my friends) is infinitely - a. more pleasant; b. happier; c. freer; d. less stressful; e. more comfy; d. (fill in your own concept) - than staying stuck in the ick of a relationship that’s gone past its expiration date … with a woman I cannot not have.

Even when the sex is damn good.

And I’m not ready to stop singing the blues.

The American Film Institute chose “Casablanca” as the most romantic movie of all time.

WGN-TV (Chicago) viewers voted “Love, Actually” No. 1 and included “Sleepless in Seattle” and “An Affair to Remember” in their top five.

Clearly, it’s all in the heart of the beholder.

That said, here are a few other picks (”Love, Actually,” a charming interweaving of a handful of stories, with Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Bill Nighy and others, would have been on my list, but why be redundant).

In no special order:

“Next Stop Wonderland”: Wintertime in Boston. Jilted nurse Hope Davis is mortified when her mother Holland Taylor (”Two and a Half Men”) places personal ad for her without permission. Much more charming, and eccentric, than it sounds, with a unique Mr. Right (Alan Gelfant) lurking in the distance.

“Notting Hill”: Hugh Grant’s pretty. Julia Roberts is pretty. She’s a big star. He runs a little bookstore, but does that stammering, bumbling, charm thing that’s evidently irresistible. Cute stuff.

“Lady and the Tramp”: For the slurping-spaghetti scene, and much more. Plus, love those pups.

“Ulysses”: The James Joyce version (1967), only for the erotic Molly Bloom monologue near the end.

“Truly Madly Deeply”: Juliet Stevenson can’t stop mourning her late musician husband Alan Rickman, so he returns as a ghostly presence, with other late musicians, to accompany her until she lets go. Bittersweet. From director Anthony Minghella.

“Runaway Bride”: “Pretty Woman” (another decent pick) stars Julia Roberts and Richard Gere reunite to court and spark in this guilty pleasure.

“Designing Woman”: Culture-clash romantic comedy with ace sportswriter Gregory Peck marrying fashion designer Lauren Bacall. A little dated but funny and cute.

“When Harry Met Sally…”: Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan (with normal lips), the wonderful fake-orgasm scene and the debate over whether men and women can ever be friends. A perennial. and deservedly so.

“Brief Encounter”: A David Lean classic (1945) about the brief but passionate meeting between strangers (Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson) who meet on a train.

“Fido”: Multilayered zombie spoof shows you don’t have to be alive to be sexy. With Carrie-Anne Moss and Billy Connolly. Some gore, so be forewarned. Parodies the ’50s and “Lassie,” too.

“Annie Hall”: Woody Allen’s delightful Oscar-winning comedy explains why we keep getting involved, with wit, spirit and creativity.

“Pride and Prejudice”: I liked the Keira Knightley version (but not enough to include on my list) but almost every woman I’ve talked to mentioned the Colin Firth version.

“A Man and a Woman”: Emotionally wounded race-car driver and TV producer, both widowed, reluctantly become involved and help each other heal. Thickly romantic French film. (Don’t rent the sequel; it’s terrible.)

“Love and Basketball”: One of those movies I can’t forget and always watch parts of (it’s long) when it’s on TV. Two attractive, athletic kids, a brash boy and an observant girl, live next to each other, grow up (as Omar Epps and Sanaa Lathan), play competitive basketball, and begin to notice each other as more than friends. Very well done.

“A Little Romance”: Two kids (one’s Diane Lane when she was about 9) run away from Paris to Venice so they can kiss under a certain bridge at a certain time, which, the mythology has it, will bind them forever. A codger played by Laurence Olivier helps them. Goes down easily.

“Two for the Road”: Different stages in a couple’s (Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn) alternative in the funny, edgy, insightful and innovative romantic comedy from Stanley Donen.

“Holiday”: The best Cary Grant-Katharine Hepburn screwball comedy, with her a free spirit and him engaged to her stiff sister when they meet. Lively and fun.

`Gone Baby Gone’ is good baby good

If there’d been any justice, “Gone Baby Gone,” Ben Affleck’s taut directorial debut, should’ve been a contenduh for best picture.

For one thing, it has the year’s most thought-provoking ending.

Then there’s the way Affleck bathes the film in a tough, Boston, working-class atmosphere that complements the edgy story based on “Mystic River” writer Dennis Lehane’s novel.

Affleck made all the right moves, beginning with believing Casey Affleck, his younger brother, could carry the movie. Casey does just that as a private investigator who, with his girlfriend/partner (Michelle Monaghan), works with reluctant police officers to locate a missing child.

The younger Affleck, who earned a supporting-actor nomination for “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,’’ hits the daily double with this go-round as a shrewd, hardened but compassionate shamus still living in the neighborhood where he, the missing girl’s family and many of the suspects grew up.

The supporting cast – Monaghan, Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman as cops and Amy Madigan (Harris’ wife) as the girl’s troubled aunt – also excel, but it’s Oscar-nominated Amy Ryan who is the real standout as the girl’s low-rent single mother.

Extras: An overly ballyhooed alternate ending consists of a couple lines of narration added to the last scene, which plays better without them; an extending opening gives a peek at the private-eye couple at work; audio commentary; a look at the pains taken to capture the flavors of the area; deleted scenes.

Jane, Jane, Jane

There’s no escape: Last week, it was “The Jane Austen Book Club,” this week, “Becoming Jane.” What’s next: “Calamity Jane’’ (in which Jane Austen moons over Wild Bill Hickock)?
In “Becoming Jane’’ – whose drawn-out storytelling grew difficult to sit through – Anne Hathaway harnesses her natural comedic tendencies, letting loose only in snippets of wit as she portrays the future author experiencing love, life and class troubles that lay the groundwork for her novel “Pride and Prejudice.’’ (The film’s fiction but based on fact.)

Hathaway, who takes some getting used to in the role, brings spunk and soulfulness to the well-dressed film. “Atonement’s’’ James McAvoy, the heartthrob of the moment, plays Tom Lefroy, the rascally, wastrel attorney with whom Jane becomes smitten – to the consternation of her hardscrabble mother (scene-stealing Julie Walters).

Mom wants Jane to eschew affection and marry well, for Jane’s sake and for their family’s. All Jane must do is swallow her standards and say “yes’’ to the wealthy neighbor’s (Maggie Smith) stodgy son. The period’s rigidity drizzles through the story.

Extras: A who-is-Jane Austen piece with an authority from the “Jane Austen Book Club’’ extras; pop-up facts and footnotes; deleted scenes; audio commentary.

Predictable menu

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart play adversarial chefs who eventually start cooking in “No Reservations,” the year’s most predictable romantic comedy–of-sorts.

Based on the German film “Mostly Martha,” the story focuses primarily on Zeta-Jones’ workaholic character and her relationship with her gloomy young niece (Abigail Breslin), whom she inherits when the child’s parents die in a car crash.

Clueless at mothering, Zeta-Jones’ character amps up the insecurity when she returns from a brief leave to find the handsome, gregarious sous chef Eckhart hired to help out in the upscale restaurant.

Eckhart is the film’s bright light. Zeta-Jones creates a believable, slow-to-warm, stick-in-the-mud. Breslin is Breslin (”Little Miss Sunshine”). The food scenes are the movie’s most delectable.

The dialogue needs seasoning., but despite the picture’s lame spots, it’s an OK pick for Valentine’s Day viewing.

Extras: A Food Network episode of “Unwrapped.”

I’m from Venus. You?

Widowed sci-fi writer John Cusack decides to adopt a child as a single man in “Martian Child,” a poignant, offbeat story that rides well on the chemistry between Cusack and Bobby Coleman as the 7-year-old title character, an orphan who isolates himself from others by insisting he’s from Mars.

Naturally, emotionally damaged child appeals to emotionally damaged adult – Freud 101. Gradually, they build trust and learn lessons.

Though oozy with syrup in parts, the movie plays better than you expect, in large part because of the casting.
Joan Cusack plays the writer’s sister and Amanda Peete a
is his girlfriend.

Extras: Watchable ones covering the real “Martian Child’’ (subject of an acclaimed story by the real boy’s father, David Gerrold – who also wrote “Star Trek’s’’ “The Trouble with Tribbles’’) and Coleman’s casting and preparation (the director compares the boy to Kurt Cobain in terms of spontaneity and charisma); commentary; deleted scenes.

Also on DVD

“The Amateur’’: Residents of a small town work with the community to realizyou expect, in large part because of the casting; with Jeff Bridges, Ted Danson, Lauren Graham.

“Blue State’’: Deciding to honor his vow to move to Canada if Bush won the 2004 election, a young activist (Breckin Meyer) finds a quirky hitchhiker (Anna Paquin) to join him in this coming-of-age comedy.

“The Charlie Chan Collection – Volume Four”: “Charlie Chan in Honolulu,’’ “…in Reno,’’ “…in The City of Darkness’’ and “…at Treasure Island.’’

“Dirty Laundry’’: In a kind of lower-budget “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins,’’ the culture-clash comedy takes a successful New York writer back to his traditional Southern home after a 10-year absence; with Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar and Jenifer Lewis.

“Furnace – Unrated’’: Supernatural creepiness with Tom Sizemore, Ja Rule and Danny Trejo in a prison where bloody suicides are the norm after an old wing is unsealed.

“Love Is My Religion’’: Ziggy Marley’s 2006 concert in L.A.

“The Monastery: Mr. Vig and the Nun’’: Documentary about an aging Danish bachelor who teams with a stubborn Russian nun to transform a rundown castle he donates into a Russian Orthodox monastery.

“Royal Tramp 1 & 2’’: Hong Kong star Stephen Chow powers 1990s martial-arts comedies about the adventures of a con man who fights, loves, and saves a dynasty.

“Snow Buddies’’: Live-action Disney comedy about puppies in snow.

“Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married’’: Perry drops the drag for this look at four couples who examine their relationships during a Colorado getaway.

“We Own the Night’’: One of a detective’s sons becomes a cop (Mark Wahlberg), the other (Joaquin Phoenix) hangs with mobsters in this crime thriller.

TV on DVD

“Blade: The Series’’; “The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav: Extended & Uncensored’’; “General Hospital: Night Shift, Season 1’’; “Girlfriends: The Third Season’’; “Family Ties: The Third Season’’; “Tell Me You Love Me: The Complete First Season.’’

Coming soon

March 11: “No Country for Old Men”

All you need is love to travel `Across the Universe’

Julie Taymor resurrects the Beatles and the ’60s in “Across the Universe” (out in a “2-Disc Deluxe Edition”), a visually splendid musical that gathers emotional steam as it rolls along.

Riddled with romance, riots, protests, hippies, Vietnam and civil-rights struggles, the semi-unwieldy, semi-psychedelic piece keys to Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood, in fine singing voice), an upper-class U.S. student, and Jude (a scruffy Jim Sturgess), a working-class Liverpool lad who jumps ship in New York.

Director Taymor’s (”The Lion King”) innovative saga reimagines the birth of some Beatles’ classics (dear Prudence comes in through the bathroom window) and acts as a time machine for ’60s vets and newbies.

Dana Fuchs and Martin Luther McCoy bring the heat as a couple representing Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.

Wonder if I’ll still like it when I’m 64.

Extras: Alternate versions of Eddie Izzard hamming up “Mr. Kite”; fine commentary by Taymor; making-of docs; know-your-stars short; extended music scenes; deleted scene; photo gallery.

The mild West

Watching too much of “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” is like standing in a long line on a hot day and waiting for fights to break up the monotony.

Director Andrew Dominik emulates Terrence “I make gorgeous but deathly slow movies” Malick with his look at James’ last years.

Brad Pitt turns in his best portrayal yet as the volatile outlaw.

And Casey Affleck, rightly up for a supporting Oscar, matches him as Ford, a weasel who yearns for James’ celebrity.

The supporting cast is also top-notch.

The epic becomes addictive in the home stretch, piling on tension as Ford schemes to bring down Jesse.

The end almost justifies the means.

Extras: None.

Bloodshot eye for an eye

Jodie Foster channels Charles Bronson from “Death Wish” in “The Brave One,” an intense and violent revenge drama with the blue-eyed Foster convincing as a woman severely beaten during a attack that leaves her fiance dead.

Terrence Howard serves as the voice of reason as a lonely detective initially attracted to Foster’s enigmatic character because of the intimacy her voice conveys on her late-night radio show.

A questionable behavior by a key character near the end blunts the movie’s impact, but if you’re in the mood for “righteous revenge,” Foster and director Neil Jordan deliver.

Extras: An “I Walk the City” short (contains spoilers); deleted scenes.

No plain Janes

Speaking as a Jane Austen virgin, an expression borrowed from “The Jane Austen Book Club,” I am more intrigued by the author after having seen the film.

But not intrigued enough to read one of her 18th-century sagas, despite urgings from female friends over the years to do so - to better understand their affinity for the books, and, in theory, to better understand them.

So it goes.

Based on Karen J. Fowler’s episodic bestseller, the picture is fairly engaging despite dollops of melodramatic excess and an ending that’s like biting into ice cream with an exposed nerve.

Five women and one man meet monthly to discuss one of Austen’s six books.

The messed-up relationships of most reflect the loopy relationships and characters in the novels, though co-writer/director Robin Swicord admits to freely exercising her poetic license.

Emily Blunt and Hugh Dancy turn in the most layered portrayals.

The rest of the ensemble - Maria Bello, Amy Brenneman, Kathy Baker and Maggie Grace - have their moments, but their characters are more one-note.

Extras: Cast and crew commentary; bio piece on Austen (for Austen virgins); making-of and character-deconstruction docs; seven deleted scenes.

Also on DVD

“The Apartment Collector’s Edition”: An ambitious corporate exec (Jack Lemmon) lets his married superiors use his apartment for affairs, then falls for his boss’ girlfriend (Shirley MacLaine); Billy Wilder’s superb comedy/drama won an Oscar for best picture.

“The Aristocats Special Edition”: Digitally enhanced animated musical adventure about mismatched cats and pet-nappings; not wonderful but kids probably won’t mind.

“Blackout”: Lives go through upheavals when a two-day blackout wreaks havoc on a Brooklyn community ready to rumble; with Jeffrey Wright.

“Croc”: A lot of bite but no teeth - killer croc terrorizes Thailand areas where bland people talk too much; with Michael Madsen.

“Descent”: Rosario Dawson earned raves from the few critics who saw this violent and erotic (for some) film about a college student (Dawson) out to avenge her rape.

“Elizabeth _ The Golden Age”: Cate Blanchett again earns an Oscar nod for playing the British queen, only this sequel’s a dark and choppy mess; even Clive Owen can’t save it.

“Feast of Love”: In a small-town cafe, a bemused professor (Morgan Freeman) stirs up love among locals (Greg Kinnear, Radha Mitchell, Selma Blair).

“Fierce People”: A working-class, drug-dependent masseuse (Diane Lane) and her son move into a rich client’s (Donald Sutherland) guest house in a snooty suburb.

“Giuliani Time”: It’s apparently run out, although that’s not addressed in this documentary about Rudy G.’s time as mayor of New York.

“Imitation of Life Two-Movie Special Edition”: The 1934 Claudette Colbert drama about racism, romance and family is packaged with the 1959 Lana Turner revamp.

“9 Star Hotel”: Documentary about Palestinians who sneak across the border to work in occupied Israel territories.

“Raising Flagg”: A crochety handyman’s (Alan Arkin) loving wife and six argumentative children gather around him when, due to an identity crisis, he decides to stay in bed until he dies. (At least he avoids rush hour.)

“A Stranger’s Heart”: Romance about two people who need hearts and meet while awaiting donors; with Samantha Mathis.

“Tootsie: 25th Anniversary Edition”: A struggling actor (Dustin Hoffman) pretends to be a woman to win a role; a comedy with depth, the film was nominated for 10 Oscars (Hoffman lost to Ben Kingsley as the scantily clad Gandhi).

“2 Days in Paris”: Julie Delpy wrote, directed and stars in the romantic comedy about mismatched lovers visiting Paris; with Adam Goldberg. (Goldberg and Delpy? What were they thinking?).

“When Night Is Falling”‘: Woman falls for female circus performer.

“The Wiz 30th Anniversary Edition”: Remastered “Wizard of Oz” adaptation set in New York; with Diana Ross, Quincy Jones’ music, and Michael Jackson when he was still relatively normal.

TV on DVD

“Beauty and the Beast: The Third Season”
“The Best of Comedy Central Presents: Uncensored”
“Dresden” (German wartime miniseries)
“The Jewish Americans” (recently on PBS)
“Madeline: Meet Me In Paris”
“Newhart: The Complete First Season” (the worst season only because of an abrasive regular who doesn’t last beyond this season)
“Route 66: Season One, Vol. 2″ (two guys and a cool Corvette)
“Rosemary & Thyme: The Complete Collection” (affable British crime show with middle-age female gardener/sleuths)
“Slings and Arrows: The Complete Collection” (antics of Canadian theater troupe putting on Shakespeare)
“Soul Food _ The Series: The Third Season”
“Wire in the Blood: The Complete Fourth Season”

Coming soon
Feb. 19: “Michael Clayton”