I wish I were younger

Kat Dennings co-stars with Michael Cera in “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist.”

She plays his gradually evolving love interest. (Go Michael).

Even though, in this role, she shows glimpses of Irene Dunne and Lauren Bacall - stylewise - it takes forever for him to catch on.

(I was clueless in those days, too. “Those days?” friends would say.)

Short version: Babe city.

And: Boy, do I wish I was younger.

On second thought: I’d really hate to go through those years again.

Of me and Mike

Michael Cera, star of “Superbad,” “Juno” and “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” a romantic comedy of all things that opens Oct. 3 - it just begs the question, why?

In every role and appearance, he always seems so square, so whitebread, so wide-eyed-innocent observer, so, well…, normal.

And yet people, especially of the female ilk, keep coming back.

I just don’t get it. I find him boring; he seems so limited, as if he has no range.

So, given his popularity, which continues to rise, I mulled this. Maybe I was missing something.

And then it hit me: He reminds me of me in junior high and high school: Mr. Nice Guy, ho-hum.

Although I don’t know that I’d use the word “normal” to describe that version of me.

And I was never fond of that me. So… aha!

All I can say now is, the kid’s got a great future ahead of him.

“One day, I may ask you for a service…”

Actor Joe Mantegna says that, for him, “The Godfather” trilogy is the Italian “Star Wars.” The American Film Institute calls “The Godfather” the second greatest American film (“Citizen Kane” ranks No. 1).

This week, remastered versions of the three films are available as “The Godfather: The Coppola Restoration” in a five-disc DVD set, four-disc Blu-ray set or individually.

The colors look richer. Portions of faces previously buried in shadow are visible, although the series pervading darkness, by design, remains.

The graininess is about the same as in previous versions, and I’m not sure there’s a need to upgrade unless you’re a huge fan – or a collector. The captivating performances (Brando, Pacino, DeNiro et al) and storytelling swoop you up in any rendition, even VHS.

On the other hand, the new set costs about the same as a tank of gas. And this is “The Godfather” Coppola wants you to see. Go with your heart.

Extras: A short on the restoration is interesting but thick with techno-jargon; new shorts on the series in retrospect and obstacles to getting the first film made are fun; much more.

Clooney passes

George Clooney’s cocksure, grinning face shows up in almost every frame of “Leatherheads,” a frothy screwball comedy about the early days of pro football.

Set in 1925, the picture lacks pop but provides an affable - as in C+/B- - diversion because of its appealing stars: Renee Zellweger as an ambitious reporter; John Krasinski as a boy-next-door-type war hero and college grid star; and Clooney as an aging pro player-manager out to sign the war hero to give his flailing sport a little respectability and a big boost at the box office.

Scenes pegging to a possible scandal put cement boots on the storytelling.

Clooney, who also directs, creates a handsome period piece that captures the look of the times and the grittiness of the game. But if you see it, do so with low expectations.

Extras: A diverting look at Clooney’s mischievous side; deleted scenes; making-of, effects and creating-football-scenes shorts; commentary.

Dresses for successes

As Big Apple columnist Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica Parker spends the first half of “Sex and the City: The Movie” trying on frilly frocks to amuse herself and her friends Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda (Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon) and posing in fancy wedding dresses for a magazine spread.

And that’s why God created fast-forward.

The second half, where Carrie – scheduled to marry Mr. Big (Chris Noth) - and her buds deal with relationship dissatisfaction and betrayal delivers enough substance to turn the film into a fairly satisfying fantasy; do you know anyone who dresses like them? Or can afford to? (If you do, introduce me.)

“Dreamgirls’” Jennifer Hudson adds a dose of earthiness as Carrie’s new assistant.

Bottom line: Nice to see them again despite the fashion madness. Also in Blu-ray and two-disc versions.

Extras:: filmmaker’s commentary; shorts on fashion and more on second disc.

Also on DVD

“Deception”: Ewan McGregor, a naive accountant, gets in trouble with the law after his slick, lawyer friend Hugh Jackman takes him to a secret sex club. (Also on Blu-ray.)

“The Foot Fist Way”: Martial-arts comedy with Danny McBride (”Tropic Thunder”).

“Madagascar”: Escaped animated zoo animals on Blu-ray.

“Midnight Eagle”: Photographer tries to save the world after witnessing a bomber carrying deadly material crash in the Alps; in Japanese.

“Mother of Tears“: Asia Argento reluctantly confronts a nasty witchy woman in the dumb-but-watchable end to her dad’s (Dario Argento) “Three Mothers” trilogy.

“The Neighbor”: Matthew Modine gets bent out of shape when he learns his ex-wife’s going to marry his best friend and his feud with his pretty upstairs neighbor escalates — so he takes her to his ex’s wedding.

“Pathology“: Med students working in a morgue compete to see who can commit the perfect murder; with Milo Ventimiglia (”Heroes”).

“Reno 911! Miami - The Movie - More busted Than Ever Unrated Cut”: Silly TV cops in silly, feature-length mockumentary.

“Run, Fat Boy, Run”: Out-of-shape Simon Pegg (”Shaun of the Dead”) competes in the London Marathon to win back Thandie Newton
from her current beau Hank Azaria.

“Shrek the Third”: Green ogre on Blu-ray.

“Snow Angels”: Divorced couple (Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell)
with child and high school couple in first romantic relationship have troubles, deal with them.

“Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat Special Edition”: Cute, campy contemporary horror Western about rival groups of undead trying to go straight with synthetic blood; with Bruce Campbell and David Carradine.

“Water”: Documentary claims intentions can change the structure of water and thoughts can alter environment; so what else is new?

Coming soon:

Sept. 30 - “Iron Man”

TV on DVD

“Alvin & The Chipmunks: Alvin’s Thanksgiving Celebration”
“Alvin & The Chipmunks: Classic Holiday Gift Set”
“Brothers & Sisters: The Complete Second Season”
“Cashmere Mafia: The Complete Series”
“Chuck: The complete First Season”
“CSI: New York - The Fourth Season”
“Friday the 13th — The Series: The First Season” (heroes chase down stolen evil relics; not bad for 1987)
“High School Musical 2: Deluxe Dance Edition”
“iCarly: Season 1, Vol. 1″
“Samantha Who?: The Complete First Season”
“Schoolhouse Rock! The Election Collection”
“This American Life: The First Season”
“Vipers” (agitated designer snakes run rampant)

McDreamy and McLuscious are made `of Honor’

In Europe some years ago, I took a side trip to Ireland, expecting the Emerald Isle to look like Shangri-La. It didn’t, but Scotland did.

And that country’s beauty permeates the second half of “Made of Honor,” an otherwise formulaic romantic comedy pairing Patrick “Dr. McDreamy” Dempsey as Tom with Michelle “McLuscious” Monaghan as Hannah.

The plot’s your basic: Boy meets girl and they become best friends; girl goes to Scotland, comes back with a fiance (Kevin McKidd) and asks boy to be her “maid” of honor; boy realizes he loves girl and schemes to win her back.

You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce the rest.

The physical gags work well. Too much time’s spent with Tom and his b-ball-playing buddies, and Paul Weiland’s direction needs some shots of bubbly.

But McLuscious is a doll and McDreamy is McDreamy; he doesn’t do much, but it’s enough.

The film bears some similarities to “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” but where the latter was mean-spirited, this one’s sweet as McLuscious. OK, fine: and McDreamy.

Extras: Director’s commentary; options of full screen or wide screen on same copy.

Pick of the week

If you’re wallowing in “Oh, poor me,” you must see “Young@Heart.” Even if you’re feeling at the top of your game, this look at the Young@Heart singers, average age 80, will take you higher.

The Massachusetts-based choir, under longtime director Bob Cilman — “He chews nails and spits rust, but I’m tough, too,” one member says — performs songs by OutKast, Crash, Sonic Youth (“Schizophrenia”), Bob Dylan (the anthem-like “Forever Young”), the Bee Gees and the Ramones (a wonderfully droll version of “I Wanna Be Sedated”).

They aren’t all in the best of health — the documentary addresses death as well as life — but they love to sing and perform; with some, the choir’s their reason to get up in the morning.

An enthusiastic bunch laced with eccentrics, group members are seen in rehearsals, at home, on the road and in performance. “Young@Heart” gives you a good sense of who they are and entertains at the same time.

Watching them win a standing O for Allen Toussaint’s “Yes We Can Can,” a song that mentions “can” 71 times, after struggling with it for weeks, feels exhilarating.

Joy and poignancy and joy are the prevailing emotions in this warm and upbeat look at aging with grace.

Extras: All the deleted scenes are worthwhile (one’s a “Purple Haze” solo); entertaining music videos; a short on preparing for a concert in Hollywood is so-so.

The Wachowskis in ‘Racer’ land

Eye candy can be blinding; pass it on. The Wachowski brothers (“The Matrix” trilogy) misplaced their mojo with “Speed Racer,” an unwatchable, hyper-real adaptation of the animated TV series.

The series is easier to follow.

The film assaults you with visuals, turning itself into a blur of Maxfield Parrish, the animated “Alice in Wonderland,” “Pushing Daisies’” backgrounds, flashbacks on top of flashbacks and overlapping scenes.

Kids with very short attention spans may not mind; most sequences run shorter than commercials.

Emile Hirsch plays the title character as a grown-up, trying to atone for his older brother’s undeserved bad rep, bring art back to racing and win. The races play and look like video games.

What Susan Sarandon, John Goodman and Christina Ricci are doing here is beyond me. The chimp’s pretty good, though. Also on Blu-ray.

Extras: Set tour; making-of piece on the drivers, cars and tracks.

Also on DVD

“Before the Rains”: Businessman (Linus Roache) tries to build a road in 1930s Southern India to access the site for new spice plantation; he also has an affair with his housekeeper.

“Breaking the Mayan Code”: Documentary about the struggle to unlock it.

“The Charlie Chan Collection — Volume Five”: Seven Chan mysteries.

“88 Minutes”: Voice on phone tells forensic psychologist Al Pacino he has 88 minutes to live (or maybe he turns 88; I forget which). Instead of making whoopee or going for the Ben & Jerry’s, he tries to find his nemesis; also on Blu-ray.

“Finding Amanda”: TV writer (Matthew Broderick) addicted to alcohol and gambling goes to Vegas to find his hooker niece (Brittany Snow) and bring her home; alcohol, gambling and drugs - of course, it’s a comedy.

“Finding Rin Tin Tin”: U.S. fighter pilot and his loyal German Shepherd help the military in World War I; based on a true story.

“Kabluey”: Lisa Kudrow’s slacker brother-in-law (writer-director Scott Prendergast) takes a job as a corporate mascot (Kabluey, who’s blue) to support her and her young sons while her husband’s in Iraq; off-kilter comedy.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains”: Restored ’81 film about misfit teenage girls who start a punk band; with Diane Lane, Laura Dern, members of the Sex Pistols.

“The Love Guru”: Guru Mike Myers is hired to help counsel a hockey star; with Jessica Alba and Justin Timberlake; single-disc, double-disc and Blu-ray.

“Never Cry Werewolf”: Teenage girl suspects her new neighbor’s a werewolf; Kevin Sorbo helps her deal with it.

“101 Dalmatians”: Glenn Close plays Cruella De Vil; live action.

“101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure Special Edition”: Animated.

“102 Dalmatians”: White pup searches for its spots; live action with Close as Cruella.

“Proteus”: Biology, oceanography, poetry and myth about undersea life.

“The Search for Mengele”: Documentary about the infamous SS doctor of Auschwitz.

“Snow Angels”: Divorced couple (Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell) with young child and high school couple in first romantic relationship have troubles, deal with them.

TV on DVD

“Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Alvinnn!!! Edition”
“Ax Men: The Complete Season One” (timber cutters)
“Chuck: The Complete First Season”
“Criminal Minds: Season 3”
“Cybill — The Collector’s Edition, Vol. 1”
“Dirty Sexy Money: Season One”
“Duckman: Seasons One and Two”
“First Among Equals” (Jeffrey Archer miniseries)
“Pucca: Spooky Sooga Village.”
“Private Practice — The Complete First Season: Extended Edition”
“Pushing Daisies: The Complete First Season” (also on Blu-ray)
“The Red Green Show: 2000 Season”
“The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour: The Best of Season Three” (final season)
“Star Trek: Alternate Realities Collective”
“30 Rock: Season 2”
“Torchwood: The Complete Second Season”
“Will & Grace: The Complete Series Collection”
“Will & Grace: Season Eight.”

And it’s free.

“The Curse of Quon Gwon,” written and directed in 1916 by Oakland filmmaker Marion Wong, then 21, is considered the first Chinese-American movie.

Wong, who started the first Chinese-American film company the year before and reportedly kept it going until 1921, cast her sister-in-law Violet as a Mary Pickford-ish heroine. She also gave her mother a role.

Inspired by her family’s 1911-12 trip to China, the film flopped. With a so-it-goes philosophy, Wong gave copies to family members. One sat in Violet’s basement until 1968, when she asked her grandson, Gregory Yee Mark, then 20, to do something with it.

And so began a process that led to the silent’s being re-edited from 35mm to 16mm and transferred to DVD — with assists from filmmaker Arthur Dong and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
.
You can check out the result at 5:15 p.m. Sunday when “The Curse of Quon Gwon” screens at the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum, 37417 Niles Blvd., Fremont.

It will follow a 4 p.m. discussion by Mark, now a Sacramento State professor of Asian American Studies, and Mai Lon Gittlesohn, Mark’s aunt.

A question-and-answer period will follow the screening. Contact 510-494-1411 or www.nilesfilmmuseum.org.

And by the way: It’s free.

Oh, baby

I would pay to watch “Saturday Night Live” alums Tina Fey and Amy Poehler do most anything — be still, my imagination — so I went into “Baby Mama” predisposed to be amused.

Turns out I liked it but didn’t love it.

The comedy opens understated and droll and remains that way until Poehler enters the frame, revamping the premise into “The Odd Couple” with women.

Poehler plays an unpolished, working-class woman with a few scruples loose. She’s hired by Fey, a successful, single career woman unable to get pregnant, as a surrogate to carry her baby. When Poehler catches her boyfriend cheating, she moves in with control-freak Fey and becomes Oscar Madison to Fey’s Felix Unger.

Steve Martin, with a ponytail, plays Fey’s ethereal boss at a multinational organic-foods chain. Juice-store owner Greg Kinnear eventually becomes her love interest.

The hit-or-miss screenplay by Michael McCullers, another “SNL” alum, who also directs, leaves a handful of gags floundering on the floor. It’s all predictable but cute, witty but not hilarious. (Also on Blu-ray.)

Extras: Commentary by the “SNL” group that includes producer Lorne Michaels; alternate ending; deleted scenes, some of which work; making-of shorts.

Kung fu fun

If you’re suffering from Beijing withdrawal, consider checking out “The Forbidden Kingdom,” a Jackie Chan-Jet Li fantasy shot in colorful parts of China featured in the extras and not seen during the Olympics coverage.

The movie’s a lot of fun, though surprisingly violent in a couple of spots. It targets teens and younger but should appeal to grown-ups, too.

Make that, to grown-ups who enjoy lively, kung-fu fables with genial humor and top-notch stars and fight choreography by “Crouching Tiger’s” Woo-Ping Yuen.

A combo time-travel and coming-of-age saga, the picture also stars Michael Angarano of “Will & Grace” as a contemporary Boston teen who finds an old staff in a Chinese curio shop. Magically, he is transported to ancient China where he teams with three heroes (Li, Chan and China pop star Liu Yifei) to battle an evil warlord and return the staff to the legendary Monkey King (also Li).

Cool visuals, appealing players and well-timed wit make this a good pick for fans of the genre.

Extras: Entertaining blooper reel; nice travelogue-ish piece on the China settings and the huge studio, dubbed Chinawood, where interiors were shot; good piece on lead actresses Yifei and Li Bing Bing; more.

Evil goo

Gray goo oozes through pipes and spatters employees and guests in a new conference center, making them hallucinate and, or, turning them into killers or suicides in “Something Beneath.”

It’s not “The X-Files” but it’ll do on a slow night.

Perhaps scariest of all, Kevin “Hercules” Sorbo plays a priest and he’s not half-bad (making him mostly good). Visuals aren’t half-bad, either, but the writing and secondary performances are, unless you get into the campiness.

Extras: None.

Bill’s back, in Blu-ray

“Kill Bill, Volume 1” and “Kill Bill, Volume 2” are out on Blu-ray, and worth a look for its rich colors and close-ups of the detail work Quentin Tarantino put into the double-feature.

The violence is more vivid, too, but the films are really something in enhanced video.

If you don’t own a Blu-ray disc player yet — like DVD killed VHS, Blu-ray (and digital downloads) will eventually make DVDs dinosaurs — be patient. Prices will drop, bells and whistles will increase and improve, and not only will “Kill Bill” and its ilk still be around, they’ll be cheaper, too.

Also on DVD

“Child’s Play: Chucky’s 20th Birthday Edition”: Includes commentary by Chucky, the killer doll, on select scenes.

“Doodlebops: We Love Our Friends”: Musical trio rocks preschoolers.

“Fist of Legend — Ultimate Edition”: Chinese student (Jet Li) seeks justice after teacher’s murdered and Japanese forces take over his school.

“Fox Horror Classics”: “Chandu the Magician” (Bela Lugosi), “Dr. Renault’s Secret” (George Zucco), “Dragonwyck” (Gene Tierney, Vincent Price).

“I Want Candy”: Two actors are promised movie roles if they can recruit the Candy (Carmen Electra), the top adult film star; British comedy.

“The Last Days of Left Eye”: About the late rapper Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, who documented her last days before dying in a car crash at 30.

“Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour”: PG-rated chills involving a teenage girl visiting a secretive town haunted by an evil spirit.

“Seed”: A death-row inmate’s not happy after being electrocuted three times and being buried alive in director Uwe Boll’s horror extravaganza.

“Taking 5”: Two high school girls kidnap the world’s most popular boy band (the Click Five) to save their reputations. (Makes no sense to me, either.)

“Unstable Fables: Tortoise vs. Hare”: Slow-and-steady Walter races speedy Murray 15 years after the original go-round; computer-animated.

“We Are Together”: Documentary about children in the Agape orphanage in South Africa and the inspirational effect of singing.

TV on DVD

“Alvin & the Chipmunks Go to the Movies”
“America: Live in Chicago”
“Brian Regan: The Epitome of Hyperbole”
“Clifford The Big Red Dog: A Big Help”
“CSI: Miami — The Sixth Season”
“Edgar & Ellen: Mad Scientists — Season One, Vol. 1”
“Edgar & Ellen: Trick or Twins”
“Grey’s Anatomy: The Complete Fourth Season — Expanded” (also on Blu-ray)
“Gulliver’s Travels Special Edition” (Ted Danson version)
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Season Three”
“Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht: Seasons 1 and 2”; “Legion of Super Heroes: Vol. 3”
“Medium: The Fourth Season”
“Monarchy: The Royal Family at Work”
“Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theatre” (seven discs, 26 episodes)
“Smallville: The Complete Seventh Season” (also on Blu-ray)”
“Ugly Betty: The Complete Second Season”
“Wings: The Seventh Season”

A train in the snow with murder

Some critics have dubbed “Transsiberian” a Hitchcockian suspense thriller.

“Hitchcockian” is such an odd word.

OK, so much for that.

Emily Mortimer, the reason to see the film, plays the enigmatic wife of gregarious, church-going, train-loving, Southern good ol’ boy Woody Harrelson.

After participating in a humanitarian conference in Beijing, they decide to take the long, train ride back to Moscow.

On board, they meet and are somewhat taken under the wing by a flirtatious, supremely confident 30ish rascal who needs a shave and his secretive, younger female companion.

Drugs, smuggling, a Russian detective played to the hilt by Ben Kingsley