Looking at the world through two-colored glasses

You want escapism, adventure, a chance to go slip-sliding away from worldly woes? Then consider immersing yourself in “Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D.”

The disc has a 2-D version on one side, 3-D on the other. Go with the 3-D; once it gets rolling it’s like a water slide through a theme park packed with papier-mache mountains and caves, glow-in-the-dark birdies and the requisite big, toothy T-rex.

Though the Jules Verne-inspired saga targets kids, its appeal is universal despite a simplistic story.

Years ago, our researcher/hero’s (Brendan Fraser doing his Brendan Fraser awkward shtick) brother disappeared on a quest to prove Verne’s novel was true. After our hero discovers clues in his brother’s copy of the book, he enlists his sullen nephew (Josh Hutcherson) and hires an Icelandic guide (Anita Briem) fluid in flirting to see what they can see.

After an “Indiana Jones”-ish mine-car ride through an abandoned mine shaft, the three pull an “Alice in Wonderland” and tumble into the bowels of a brave new world.

There are plot holes aplenty and a couple of rides that get the adrenalin flowing.

The disc comes with four pairs of 3-D glasses. The 3-D version bleeds out much of the color, but it’s the more exciting version.

Extras: Commentary; shorts on dinosaur drool, hollow-Earth theories, Hutcherson, making the film.

A living doll

For a movie based on a doll series and aimed at little girls, “Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” is surprisingly entertaining — and topical.

During the Great Depression (the last one), a spunky 9-year-old (wide-eyed, effervescent Abigail Breslin) with optimism skipping through her veins wants to be a journalist.

In her treehouse, she types stories about the growing number of foreclosures (ouch) in her neighborhood, a spree of robberies and lives of two young hobos doing repair work in return for food.

All this while, on the home front, her father (Chris O’Donnell) loses his car dealership and her mother (Julia Ormond) takes in borders to help make the mortgage.

This is a cute kids pic that takes a light touch to stereotyping, classism, survival and abandonment — and tosses in a modicum of suspense to keep things interesting.

The storytelling’s brisk and the sentimentality only grates occasionally. The hokey villains — I imagine to keep things kid-friendly — are the only negative.

Extras: “American Girl” trailer gallery.

Bare-naked ladies

Porn star Jenna Jameson is really something, even covered in blood and with a gaping hole in her neck.

She plays the first stripper victim in “Zombie Strippers.” And what that title conjures in your mind is accurate.

Actual dialogue: “They’re zombies.” “No, they’re strippers.” “They’re zombie strippers.”

Except for one memorable sequence (too graphic to describe) during a zombie-stripper catfight, this horror comedy is pretty awful — and I like the genre.

The dancers get infected and their bodies start to deteriorate, yet they prove even more popular gyrating before the Y-chromosome crowd.

Best line: “Look, this zombie thing’s gotta end. The other girls can’t get any stage time.” The gruesomeness is beyond description.

The film’s like a bad accident, “Showgirls” redone by Ed Wood and George A. Romero — all ham, no wry.

Clever title, though.

Extras: Behind the scenes; deleted scenes; commentary; zombie prep. Blu-ray also offers a pop-up trivia track and gory scenes that didn’t make the final cut.

Also on DVD

“The Cult of the Suicide Bomber 2”: Former Middle East CIA agent Robert Baer explores why women join the bomber cult in this documentary.

“Diary of the Dead” on Blu-ray: College friends make horror film, encounter zombies, keep camera rolling; “Cloverdale’s” better, but George A. Romero’s film grows on you.

“The Flight Before Christmas”: Young reindeer with vertigo takes flying lessons and joins animals to save Santa.

“Halloween Collector’s Edition”: Multidisc Rob Zombie version, with Michael Myers’ origins; also on Blu-ray.

“Hank and Mike”: Two blue-collar guys get laid off from jobs as Easter Bunnies, look for work, try to get women; with Chris Klein, Joe Mantegna.

“Hell Ride”: Biker-gang vengeance and violence; with Dennis Hopper; on Blu-ray, too.

“The Little Rascals: The Complete Collection”: Eight discs with 80 remastered restored shorts, arranged chronologically; with Spanky, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Darla and Pete the dog; gobs of bonus materials.

“Michigan vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry”: Football, when Michigan was good.

“Red”: Aging recluse seeks justice when teen punks kill his dog; with Brian Cox.

“Romancing the Stone” on Blu-ray: A young Kathleen Turner plays a romance novelist on a treasure hunt assisted by a young Michael Douglas as a soldier of fortune; cute, fun.

“Six in Paris”: Six short stories, six directors (Chabrol, Douchet, Godard, Pollet, Rohmer, Rouch); in French.

“Tinker Bell”: Tink tries to change in a pre-Peter Pan Never Land; computer-animated; also on Blu-ray.

TV on DVD

“Affairs of the Heart, Series One” (seven Henry James tales)
“Agatha Christie: Mystery Lover’s Collection” (five stores, with Poirot, Marple and such)
“Carlos Mencia: Performance Enhanced — Extended and Uncensored”
“Dale Earnhardt 10 Greatest Wins”
“Discovery Essential Dinosaur Pack” (four-parter on two discs)
“Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure” (by Andrew Davies of “Bridget Jones’ Diary”)
“The 4400: The Complete Series”
“Girlfriends: The Fifth Season”
“Little Tikes Land”
“The L Word: The Complete Fifth Season”
“Mystery Science Theater 300: 20th Anniversary Edition”: (four discs, four previously unreleased episodes, lobby cards, Crow T. Robot figurine, in embossed tin)
“Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal”
“Sister, Sister: The First Season”

Don’t know about the polls but John McCain has a definite lead over Barack Obama in the box-office race.

If you scratch your brain you may remember Sen. McCain doing a cameo as himself, shaking hands with Christopher Walken and Jane Seymour prior to a ceremony in 2005’s “Wedding Crashers.”

Spout.com lists the McCain moment as No. 1 in its “10 Great Film Cameos From Politicians!”

Read the rest of this entry »

Follow that dream

Eric M. Wolfson got his first role at 9, thanks to some fractured teeth.

A San Francisco native, Wolfson says his neighbor, Linda Ayers, was making a movie called “Victims” and she needed a little kid to walk out of the dentist’s office.

“It just so happened I butchered my teeth in a water slide accident (and) I had these big metal brackets,” says Wolfson, whose new movie “Callback: ‘The Unmaking of Bloodstain’ ” opened Oct. 17 at the Lumiere in San Francisco.

She asked him if he’d like to audition and he nailed the part. He even remembers his one line: “OK, then, I’ll see you later.”

No doubt delivered like Brando.

Wolfson, 33, fell into Shakespeare in later years. He was Tony in the S.F. production of “Tony and Tina’s Wedding” in 1999, took classes at ACT, and worked with New Conservatory Theater.

When he moved to L.A., at 25, he became interested in writing and directing so he immersed himself in filmmaking classes and started Jaffle, his own production company.

He describes “Callback,” his first feature-length film, as “sort of the underbelly of ‘Entourage,’ about the three main types of actors working in L.A.”

He lists them as the overnight success who’s been working for years unsuccessfully and is suddenly discovered; the person who gets off the bus in L.A. and two weeks later lands a movie role; and the person who gets ahead in the business because of nepotism.

“What we did with the characters is took the archetypes and blew them out in over-the-top proportions.”

And speaking of nepotism: Wolfson gives himself a cameo at “the bartender.”

The fillmmaker’s currently in post-production with his first documentary, “Sticky.”

“What do you think it’s about?” he asks me.

“Dealing with gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe?” I suggest.

“It’s the definitive documentary on masturbation,” Wolfson says, “a nonexplicit, cross-gender, cross-cultural examination of the subject from an anthropological, pop culture and political bent.”

OK.

Long-term, he says, “I’d like to be able to tell the stories I want to tell full time. I’ve got a ton of stories I want to tell to the world.”

This has been one of them.

Like young wine

I meant to see “Bottle Shock,” the Napa-wines-are-champs film, when I was vacationing in Monterey. But the timing wasn’t right.

Had I gone, I would have seen 1993 San Ramon Valley High grad Hal B. Klein — although I wouldn’t have recognized him since we’ve never met face-to-face.

Klein plays Shenky, good buddy of Bo, who is the son of the man who owns Napa Chateau Montelena, site of most of the film. It was shot primarily in Napa and Sonoma.

“My career’s going in the right direction, which is nice,” Klein says in a phone interview from the New York apartment where he lives with his Italian greyhound, Lucy.

“I tend to play a lot of regular guys with kind of a twist; guys who are kind of quirky.”

“An awkward kid from New York,” Klein and his family moved to Danville when he was 14. He took up drama to meet people, he says, and eventually graduated to roles at the Regional Center for the Arts in Walnut Creek, in shows such as “Fiddler on the Roof” and “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying,” as well as several youth musicals.

Klein’s next movie, “Nobel Son,” is due in theaters Nov. 14. Bill Pullman, Alan Rickman, Danny DeVito and Eliza Dushku star.

Klein plays “the coffee-shop guy, the Tully’s guy,” he says. “There’s a little poetry involved, too. He gets to recite a poem to someone.”

He says the movie — about a mean-spirited Nobel Prize-winning chemist whose son is kidnapped when the father leaves to pick up his prize — is a blend of dark comedy and action.

Klein expects to start shooting a new film in mid-November, but it’s not etched in certainty.

Also on his agenda is putting together a TV cooking show targeting guys ages 21-35.

In the meantime, he planned to visit the Bay Area to join his parents, Blackhawk residents Bart and Sally Klein, for the Sharks opener.

You can catch him at www.halbklein.com.

It’s a small world after all

So I’m sitting on the couch watching the cable guy connect a fat white wire to a modem the size of refrigerator.

With the other wires dangling from my media center, that side of the living room looks like a sleeping squid.

“I’ve seen all those movies,” the cable guy says, nodding to the stacks of DVDs on a table near the squid’s head. “I’m a big fan.”

“Hmm,” I say.

“I was in ‘Dodgeball,’” he says. “I play one of the guys on the German team. I didn’t get a credit but (you can see it’s me).”

No kidding, I think. He’s got those blond, Nordic good looks and seems in shape.

He says he’s also in a crowd scene in “Rush Hour 2.” And as a kid, he was an extra in “Leaving Las Vegas.”

He lives in Fremont now. He’s taking a break from acting to raise a family.

His name is Randy Finch. He’s my cable guy.

I think it was the late Herb Caen who said, “There are really only 100 people in the world.”

Give ‘em hell, Harrison

Harrison Ford may outlive us all.

Though he qualifies for Social Security, he still looks spry doing most of his own stunts in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

Granted, he lumbers more than flows as he runs, climbs, jumps and ducks, but his enthusiasm’s evident and he’s still fun to watch.

Toss in the usual wit, a couple of terrific chase sequences and the return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, the best of the “Indiana Jones” female leads, and you’ve got a winner.

The ragged plot won’t disturb escapists. Shia LeBeouf plays Mutt Williams, a brash teen who recruits Indy to help find his kidnapped mother, sending the duo to a variety of colorful locales.

Exposition that played like white noise on the big screen makes a modicum of sense on the small screen despite containing more holes than a colander.

Packed with personality and wit, director Steven Spielberg’s movie is out in one- and two-disc versions and in a set with all four Indy films; also on Blu-ray.

Extras: Blu-ray and two-disc editions contain an entertaining making-of doc called “Production Diary” (check out the “Wrapping Up!” segment); “Adventures in Post-Production” (good pieces on creating the jungle chase and dubbing sounds); pre-production; much more.

A man and a woman

Temudgin, the wily and observant young boy who grows up to become Genghis Khan, chooses his wife at 14, as is the custom among the nomadic people in “Mongol,” Kazakhstan’s 2007 Oscar nominee for best-foreign-language film.

Russian director Sergei Bodrov creates a powerful sense of place, 12th-century Mongolia, and a compelling picture of the tough, scrappy people who inhabit it.

An art-house movie with great legs, the story presents the future world conqueror as a complex man, part visionary, part warrior pulled by his destiny, part devoted husband in love with one woman (played by Khulan Chuluun) his entire life.

In Mongolian with subtitles, the film is beautifully shot and well-acted by Odnyam Odsuren, grounded and convincing as the young Temudgin, and Asano Tadanobu as the adult Temudgin. Tight storytelling, impressive battle sequences, mesmerizing film. Also on Blu-ray.

Extras: None.

Revisiting `Holiday Inn’
I imagine if I were 14 and forced to watch “Holiday Inn” with my family, I’d prefer the new colorized version to the classic black-and-white. Both are included in “Holiday Inn – 3 Disc Collectors Set,” along with a complete soundtrack.

Apparently, I’m old school. Despite a belief that most black-and-white musicals benefit from colorization, I prefer the nostalgia that accompanies the b&w original with “Holiday Inn.”

Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire are at the top of their games — and their chemistry’s a big reason for the film’s enduring popularity. Toss in the Irving Berlin tunes (“White Christmas”), the fancy dancing, witty script and schmaltzy but endearing love story and you’ve got a classic.

Astaire woos away Crosby’s female partner, so Crosby retires to a New England inn which he only opens for the holidays. When Astaire dances off with Crosby’s new love and singing partner (Marjorie Reynolds), the rivalry is off and running.

One caveat: It’s embarrassing to see Ethel Waters’ maid stereotype and hear the racism in comments by Crosby and Reynolds as they prepare for a minstrel number.

Extras: Dry documentary about colorizing on the color disc; shorts on the Astaire-Crosby pairings and how films captured singing and dancing, plus a commentary that includes archival comments by Crosby and Astaire, on the b&w.

Hitman redux

John Cusack re-creates his weary hitman character from “Grosse Pointe Blank” in the convoluted satire “War, Inc.”

Directed by Joshua Seftel, the story’s a hyper-real, futuristic, unfunny farce about an assassin hired to knock off an oil minister named Omar Sharif in a besieged Middle Eastern country operated by a multinational corporation.

Besides its grating smugness, the picture pummels you with its political points until you want to kick it in the shin. There are a few laughs and a lot of embarrassing moments.

The cast is attractive: “Grosse Pointe” alums Joan Cusack and Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley, Hilary Duff and Marisa Tomei. Duff shines as Yonica Babyyeah, a spoiled, sexy Central Asian pop star. I kept waiting for John Cusack to do something I hadn’t seen before, but there wasn’t a glimmer.

Extras: None.

Also on DVD

“Arts Engine’s Ten Year Anniversary Collection”: Social-issue documentaries and shorts such as “Election Day,” “Deadline,” “Nuyorican Dream” and “Innocent Until Proven Guilty.”

“Capricorn One: Special Edition”: Sci-fi film with the first manned Mars mission as a hoax perpetuated on the world; with Elliott Gould, James Brolin and O.J. Simpson.

“Chaplin: 15th Anniversary Edition”: Robert Downey Jr.’s terrific as pioneer filmmaker and silent-screen star Charlie Chaplin; remastered with new extras.

“Ghost House Underground”: Eight films of varying quality, shock value and gruesomeness, available as set or individually: “Dance of the Dead” (zombies on prom night; gory fun); “No Man’s Land: The Rise of the Reeker” (eerie killer stalks bank robbers); “The Substitute” (teacher from outer space); “Dark Floors” (stuck on the hospital floor from hell); “Trackman” (deformed madman tracks bank robbers in old subway); “Room 205” (ghost kills residents of female dorm); “Last House in the Woods” (couple face sadistic bullies and kid with really big teeth); “Brotherhood of Blood” (bottom-barrel vampire-hunting flick that even Sid Haig can’t resuscitate).

“The Long Green Line”: Documentary about New York High School cross-country coach and team vying for school’s 25 state title in 50 years.

“Halloween 30th Anniversary Set”: On six discs packaged with a miniature Michael Myers mask.

“Ludwig”: Luchino Visconti’s four-hour epic about King Ludwig II of Bavaria”; with Helmut Berger, Romy Schneider; subtitled.

“The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie”: Animated.

“Richard O’Brien’s Rocky Horror Tribute Show”: Preview stars from the show join other performers in version with rewritten narration; with O’Brien, Michael Ball, Anthony Head, Little Nell.

“Saving God”: Ex-con-turned-pastor (Ving Rhames) tries to save young man (Dean McDermott) from life of drugs and violence; also on Blu-ray.

“Stuck”: To protect her career, an overworked nursing assistant leaves a homeless man stuck in her windshield while she decides what to do with him after she hits him with her car; with Mena Suvari and Stephen Rea; based on a true story, making it a candidate for Stupid People Tricks.

“Warren Miller’s Playground”: Skiing, snowboarding in Dubai, Japan, Sweden, Alaska; also on Blu-ray.

“There’ll Always Be an England”: Concert film of the Sex Pistols’ 30th-anniversary shows last year at Brixton Academy.

“White House Pets”: Our presidents’ four-legged friends; and Martha Washington’s two-legged parrot.

TV on DVD

“Back to You: Season 1”
“Bob the Builder: BIG Build Collection”
“Chris Isaak Christmas”
“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The Eighth Season”
“Elmo’s Christmas Countdown”
“The Legend of the Crystal Skulls”
“Liberty’s Kids: The Complete Series”
“Life With Derek: The Complete First Season”
“Lil’ Bush: Resident of the United States: Season Two”
“Nash Bridges: The First Season”
“The Partridge Family: Seasons 1 and 2”
“The Sarah Silverman Program: Season Two, Vol. One”
“Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant”
“The Unit: Season Three”
“The Universe: The Complete Season Two”
“Thomas & Friends: Whistle Express Collection”
“Vampire Princess”
“Witness to the Mob.”

“Happening” happening better on small screen

‘The Happening” is not quite the morbid slog it was on the big screen.

It’s still loonier than a box of Jujubes. And M. Night Shyamalan jackhammers his green theme with the subtlety of a whoopee cushion.

But the oft-inane dialogue and story inconsistencies notwithstanding, the director’s first R-rated film plays better on the small screen. Smaller expectations, I guess.

One fine day in New York’s Central Park, all the people stop moving and some kill themselves. (Why they all don’t is inconsistency No. 1.)

Meanwhile in Philadelphia, a science teacher (Mark Wahlberg) finishes a lecture on the strange disappearance of honeybees. (Hmm.) Anticipating the spread of the New York event, the teacher, his troubled but appealingly screwy wife (Zooey Deschanel) and gaggles of others exit the city for the sanctuary of the countryside.

Only there is no sanctuary in “The Happening,” just lengthy jaunts through green fields, more death, bursts of violence, haunting visuals and close-ups of Deschanel’s clear blue eyes.

Extras: Deschanel’s comic talent shines on the first of four deleted scenes; educational anatomy of a scene; worthless gag reel; making-of doc where Shyamalan says he wanted this to be a great Grade-B film.

Coming of middle-age

“The Visitor” was an art-house fixture for months, and deservedly so. The life-affirming character piece resonates with emotional complexities.

Acting vet Richard Jenkins (“Six Feet Under”) makes the most of his leading role as a lonely, widowed New England professor barely going through the motions when he’s sent to New York to present a paper.

Entering his apartment for the first time in ages, he finds two immigrants settled in ­— a lively young Syrian drummer (Haaz Sleiman) and his wary Nigerian girlfriend (Danai Gurira).

The lonely widower lets the couple stay, and as they become friends, he gradually squeezes out of his shell.

With an assist from the boy’s mother (Hiam Abbass), he also becomes involved in post-9/11 immigration politics. Written and directed by Tom McCarthy (“The Station Agent”).

Recommended.

Extras: Upbeat bit on playing the Djembe (hour-glass-shaped drum prounounced JEM-bay); short on cast members; commentary; more.

Citizen Welles

The classic opening shot of “Touch of Evil” — a big man slowly drives a car carrying explosives through a seamy Mexican town toward the border gate — still mesmerizes after countless viewings.

That sets the ominous tone for director-star Orson Welles’ unsettling black-and-white noir saga about a corrupt, border-town police chief (Welles), a strait-laced Mexican narcotics officer (Charlton Heston with darkened skin), his harassed new bride (Janet Leigh) and murder.

“Touch of Evil: 50th Anniversary Edition” contains three versions of the film – restored 1998 cut re-edited from Welles’ detailed memo; 1958 theatrical version; preview version created before the ’58 cut. That’s a tasty package for film students or collectors. Otherwise, it’s a bit much.

The restored version, out since 2000, is a better bet for most.

Extras: Best bonus is a reproduction of Welles’ 58-page memo to the studio after he saw Universal’s rough cut; commentaries; much more.

Also on DVD

“The Alice Faye Collection, Vol. 2”: “Hollywood Cavalcade”; “The Great American Broadcast”; “Four Jills in a Jeep”; “Rose of Washington Square”; “Hello, Frisco, Hello.” Giddy musical fun.

“Body Heat”: Lawrence Kasdan’s first was this noir classic that keys to a very steamy affair between married Kathleen Turner and lawyer William Hurt; on Blu-ray. A good one.

“Boy A”: Ex-convict, forced to take the name Boy A, tries to adjust to society after 14 years in a juvenile prison; with Andrew Garfield.

“Feast II”: Creatures from the original gore fest chomp on survivors and nearby townies; downbeat, not much fun, but cool female biker gang.

“Halloween”: Recent Rob Zombie version with 4½ hours of extras (on Blu-ray Oct. 21).

“Joy Ride 2: De