Maybe “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” doesn’t have legs.

And maybe they only work on weekends.

And perhaps they’ll grow back after the release of the new book.

Whatever the case, the legs weren’t working at the 3:50 p.m. show at a Century theater in Contra Costa County I went to today.

I got there 10 minutes early and it was a lonely experience; I was the only one there.

Just me and the commercials: Which told me to watch two new TV shows, buy a Scion and join the National Guard.

Finally, people dribbled in: 13 in total.

I don’t know how they reacted to “Harry” but I left 2 1/2 hours later - maybe more; there were 1,000 previews before the film started - ready to go on antidepressants.

What reviews haven’t pointed out, or if they have, which they haven’t emphasized enough: “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” is a movie for grown-ups.

It is darker than any of its four predecessors. Harry reflects continually on his becoming evil. The new villain - a witch from the Ministry of Magic, I forget her name - shifts from passive-aggressive to sadistic.

And Harry has his first kiss, but even that becomes tarnished.

Bring your tots. But have a child psychologist waiting in the lobby.

The magic’s still entertaining. And the kids fumbling to learn spells is amusing.

But the darkness, well, rabid fans may not bothered.

The film’s not pitch-dark, just far from the gladdening wows of previous releases.

Suggestion: Avoid it if you’re in a sour mood.

I wasn’t, but I am now; I had to watch Jim Carrey in the gawd-awful downer “The Number 23″ afterward on DVD for my column.

Carrey’s adequate, and Virginia Madsen, as his wife, is as lovely as ever.

But the story’s stupid, has no redeeming qualities, and ends like a rotten egg.

Carrey’s a dogcatcher whose wife finds a novel titled “The Number 23″ at a used bookstore, gives it to him as a birthday present, and watches his descent into madness as he becomes obsessed with the number 23, the murder in the book and the mysterious author who wrote it.

In comparison, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” is “Hairspray.”

“Hairspray,” the musical based on the Broadway musical based on the 1988 John Waters movie (with Ricki Lake and Divine) is absolutely terrific.

It’s the most uplifting film I’ve seen in years, a rush of positive energy and good feelings that lasts long after you leave.

Top that with anything else out there this year - you can’t.

The time’s 1962, the setting’s Baltimore. The best thing on TV for high school teens is an “America Bandstand”-like show with lily-white teens dancing to an upbeat Dick Clark-like host, played by James Marsden, who also sings and is pretty darned good.

One afternoon a week is designated “Negro Day” and turned over to black teens and a host played exhuberantly by Queen Latifah.

Remember, segregation still exists.

The show’s bigoted station manager is played tightly strung with a still-thinks-she’s-a-beauty-queen attitude by a very thin Michelle Pfeiffer- who’s perfectly cast and whose singing style reminds me of Bea Arthur.

A short, comfortably plump, optimistic white teen - the Ricki Lake role in the original - played by newcomer Nikki Blonsky wants nothing more in life than to dance on the show - and see integration happen.

Blonsky’s a delight and the real deal in terms of talent; she glows - you can see it. Her amazing smile ups the wattage. She also sings very well and dances up a storm.

Her character, Tracy Turnblad, has a crush on the show’s hot male teen lead dancer and occasional singer, played by Zac Efron of “High School Musical”; the actor got a round of applause when his name appeared next to his picture during the closing credits at an advance screening I attended.

The movie, which opens July 20, scored applause, too.

John Travolta in a huge fat suit and prosthetic makeup plays Tracy’s low-self-esteem mother Edna - and he carries it off like he was born to the part originated by the late character actor Divine. Christopher Walken dances a mini-storm in a number with Travolta and acts compassionate as Tracy’s dad.

The kid gets her big break; actually she makes her big break happen. And the story spins out from there with a lot of toe-tapping songs and exciting production numbers along the way.

Just see it; you’ll get your money’s worth. It’s the year’s most entertaining film.