Who knew robots had so much personality?

Granted, R2-D2 and C-3PO had their moments, but nothing like the prolonged pleasure and enchantment of the little trash compactor in “WALL-E.”

One of the year’s best pictures, even if it doesn’t get nominated in that category, the Walt Disney/Pixar animated release works as slapstick sci-fi adventure, romantic comedy, sweet love story and metaphor.

Best of all, its appeal is universal.

Dialogue is sparse (and limited to a few humans), forcing viewers to tune into the expressions and mannerisms of the cute robot lead, WALL-E (for Waste Allocation Load Lifter), the last ’bot on an abandoned, polluted Earth. With a cockroach as his only companion, the lonely soul spends days compacting trash and bringing home trinkets (a Rubik’s Cube, a light bulb) to brighten his so-called life.

When a shiny but volatile ’bot named EVE (for Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) arrives, it’s giddiness at first sight. Smitten, WALL-E follows her to the spaceship that sent her, eventually landing on a city-size craft containing the balance of the human race — obese from sitting and consuming.

Consistent with previous Pixar releases, the visuals are colorful and amusing. The comedy is beautifully timed and the story is a joy.

On single disc, three-disc DVD set, two- and three-disc Blu-ray sets; sets include digital copy.

Extras: Vary by package. Commentaries; “Presto” short shown during theatrical release; animated short “BURN-E” about a secondary character; making-of shorts; interactive storybook; Pixar doc; much more.

Futzing with war

Ben Stiller’s “Tropic Thunder” is a funny movie that I wasn’t crazy about — which put me in the minority.

Good idea: Actors with swelled heads make a Vietnam-era war movie, not realizing the jungle landscape they’ve chosen for the shoot puts them in the middle of real warfare which they think is part of the picture.

Attractive cast: Robert Downey Jr., Stiller, Jack Black and Nick Nolte. Plus, Downey’s character’s opting to change his skin color to black to play the film-within-a-film’s African-American star seemed a workable spoof of the Method.

It amused at first, and at second, maybe even third, but by fourth, fifth and infinity, it grated.

In general, gags were either funny or deadening. The “Unrated Director’s Cut” comes with 14 more minutes of both. Yet the film plays better on DVD. Downey’s character seems more entertaining — and I was able to fast-forward through the annoying parts.

Single disc has the theatrical version, two-disc set and Blu-ray the director’s cut.

Extras: Alternate ending; mockumentary about making the film-within-a-film; commentaries; deleted and extended scenes; making-of shorts; rehearsals; more.

Futzing with reality

Marilyn Monroe meets Michael Jackson and invites him home to meet her husband Charlie Chaplin and her daughter Shirley Temple.

Sounds like the start of a shaggy-dog story or a bad joke, and “Mister Lonely” could be either if it wasn’t so depressing — a shame because the acting is solid and the images haunting.

Diego Luna stars as a lonely Michael Jackson impersonator who goes by Michael, and, in his narration, muses about the comfort of creating a false identity that fits.

Michael’s attracted to fragile Marilyn (Samantha Morton at her best), who brings him home to a commune inhabited solely by celebrity impersonators.

Always dressed in character — Lincoln, the pope, the Three Stooges, Red Riding Hood and such — they live to perform; implicitly, to be seen and approved of. It’s an innovative idea that doesn’t quite work.

Key subplots include Marilyn’s strained marriage to misogynistic Charlie (Denis Lavant) and the group’s rush to build a stage and put on a show for the locals.

The picture’s infused with touching moments and surreal sequences. It contains seeds of a compelling drama about illusion, fear and identity, but the storytelling’s bumbling and thick with sadness and disappointment.

Extras: Making-of doc with writer-director Harmony Korine; deleted scenes.

Big, bold and beautiful

“Charmed” was a guilty pleasure. Witch-babe sisters played by Holly Marie Combs, Alyssa Milano and Shannen Doherty for the first few seasons, Rose McGowan after Doherty’s departure, battled evil and dealt with relationship issues.

Now, 173 episodes, plus the original unaired pilot, are packed onto 49 discs in “Charmed: The Complete Series.” Be still my hungry heart.

Python fans can do silly walks over “The Complete Monty Python’s Flying Circus: Collector’s Edition,” a set containing the entire series plus live performances, best-of-sketch collections, documentaries, on 21 discs.

Also on DVD

“Awake” on Blu-ray: Awake during an operation despite the anesthesia, a man (Hayden Christensen) overhears a murder plot, with him as the target; with Jessica Alba.

“Big Truck”: How to build one; for kids.

“Encounters at the End of the World”: Beautifully shot Werner Herzog documentary about eccentrics who live at the South Pole; also on Blu-ray.

“Fire Truck”: How to build one; for kids.

“Garden Party”: Five edgy people trying to manage in L.A.

“Lucky Number Slevin” on Blu-ray: Clever, off-kilter, oft-witty revenge yarn involving rival gang leaders; with Josh Hartnett, Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman.

“Madame Bovary”: Claude Chabrol’s 1991 version of Flaubert’s novel, with Isabelle Huppert as the bored, country doctor’s wife who has affairs with two men; in French with English subtitles.

“Priceless”: Romantic comedy with Audrey Tautou as a gold-digging seductress mistakenly luring a handsome bartender into her web; in French with English subtitles; also on Blu-ray.

“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”: The jeans still fit best friends, now in college, played by America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel and Blake Lively.

“Toots”: Documentary about controversial saloon keeper/restaurateur Toots Shor; Shor narrates.

“Wu: The Story of the Wu-Tang Clan”: Documentary about the hip-hop group.

“Zombie Diaries”: British zombie fodder follows three groups of shrill survivors.

TV on DVD

“Bones: Season Three”
“Daniel Boone: The Final Season”
“Doctor Who: The Complete Fourth Series”
“Hannah Montana: The Complete First Season”
“The Hannah Montana DVD Game”
“High School Musical DVD Game”
“Paul McCartney: The Space Within Us” on Blu-ray
“Spongebob Squarepants: Season 5, Vol. 2”
“Star Trek The Original Series: Season Three Remastered”
“The Universe: The Complete First Season” on Blu-ray

Packed with action, personality and fantastical images, “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” pops off the small screen like a carnival at twilight.

Ron Perlman exudes character as the ornery title character, red-skinned demon spawn smoking stogies, getting drunk with his aquatic, empathetic pal Abe (Doug Jones), and frustrated figuring out his flammable girlfriend’s (a minimally emoting Selma Blair) moods.

A colorful bunch, the eccentric superheroes — and the myth-like story — sometimes get lost in writer-director Guillermo del Toro’s amazing visuals (wings with eyes, a mountain taking human form).

In the extras, Mike Mignola, creator of the “Hellboy” comics and co-writer of the movie stories, says he kept reminding del Toro to push the envelope because people would expect visual-effects nirvana after del Toro’s stunning creations for “Pan’s Labyrinth.”

Well, he pushed. and the visuals are mesmerizing.

The story centers around an ancient faerie prince seeking to find the last pieces of a gold crown that will allow him to control a mythical army of mechanical soldiers, created long ago by goblins, and wipe out humanity.

Or something like that; the plot’s a little convoluted. Also in Blu-ray.

Extras: In the “3-Disc Special Edition,” Mignola’s animated short comic book ostensibly hints at the next step in the story line, but I couldn’t make sense of it. Also: deleted scenes; an extensive making-of doc; tour of the Troll Market; much more.

Send in the clones

To fully appreciate the animated “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” you probably have to sleep in “Star Wars” pajamas on a “Star Wars” pillow case and between “Star Wars” sheets.

Designed as a lead-in to the new “Star Wars” Comedy Central animated series, and to fill the gap between the second and third live-action films, the picture has “for kids only” graffiti painted all over it.

Jammed with battles, gobbledy-gook dialogue and, well, more battles, the story teams Jedi knights Anakin Skywalker, as a young man, and Obi-wan Kenobi, in early middle-age, with a feisty young female trainee in a quest to find Jabba’s kidnapped daughter and form an alliance with the big slug.

Did I mention there are a lot of battles?

As in the movies, the characters are one-dimensional — but with saucer-like eyes? Good sound, though. In single, two-disc and Blu-ray editions.

Extras: Filmmakers commentary on single disc; more features on other editions.

Smile when you say that

Director Takashi Miike’s “Sukiyaki Western Django” takes the Spaghetti Western and turns it on its nostrils, setting his story in Japan and casting it with Japanese actors trying to speak English: If they’re speaking phonetically, they need to redial; poorly pronounced cliched dialogue really grates.

Otherwise, Miike (“Audition”) crafts an energetic shoot-’em-up built around rival gangs, or clans, courting the new quick-draw kid in town as they vie for hidden treasure. Besides surreal images that seem to exist only because Miike likes them, the film’s filled packed with gunplay, horseplay and swordplay.

It’s fun but strange and uneven.

Extras: Deleted scenes and making-of short; more on Blu-ray.

Hands up, alien

“Firefly: The Complete Series” (on Blu-ray) is an entertaining sci-fi Western with spaceships and six-shooters.

The show lasted only 14 episodes, despite the provenance of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” creator Joss Whedon at the helm, but that was enough to develop a cult following whose devotion inspired the big-screen sequel “Serenity.”

Nathan Fillion plays the captain of a crew of oddities on the low-rent, fugitive spaceship Serenity. Smuggling’s their game. It’s fun to play.

Extras: Round-table discussion with cast; deleted scenes, more; on three discs.

Also on DVD

“Becoming Family”: Documentary about a doctor and medical students working on a relief mission in Sri Lanka six months after the 2004 tsunami.

“Beer for My Horse”: Road-trip comedy about two deputies out to rescue a pal from drug-running kidnappers; with Toby Keith and Claire Forlani.

“The Chronological Donald, Volume 4”: Be kind to your web-footed friend, 1951-1961.

“The General”: Buster Keaton’s 1927 Civil War-era silent classic about a train race between a Southern engineer and the Union soldiers who steal his locomotive.

“Love Songs”: Contemporary musical love story, about a couple who bring in a third person to spice up their relationship; with Ludivine Sagnier; in French.

“Merle Haggard Legendary Performances”: Vintage country live.

“Mister Foe”: Troubled young voyeurist (Jamie Bell), searching for the cause of his mother’s death, searches for love in all the wrong places; with Claire Forlani.

“Operation Valkyrie: The Stauffenberg Plot to Kill Hitler”: Two-disc documentary.

“Opium: Diary of a Madwoman”: A morphine-addicted Hungarian neurologist becomes involved with a suicidal patient in an asylum for women. Get your copy now.

“The Perfect Holiday”: Little girl asks department-store Santa (Morris Chestnut) to find a husband for her mom (Gabrielle Union) for Christmas; Queen Latifah co-stars.

“Roman Holiday”: Digitally remastered Gregory Peck-Audrey Hepburn romantic comedy.

“Sabrina”: Digitally remastered Humphrey Bogart-Audrey Hepburn romantic comedy.

“Sunset Blvd.”: Gloria Swanson’s ready for her digitally remastered close-up.

“This Christmas”: Siblings bring baggage home for the holidays; with Idris Elba, Loretta Devine, Delroy Lindo.

“Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage”: Jared Padalecki (of TV’s “Supernatural”) plays the artist as a college student, home for the holidays visiting his mom (Marcia Gay Harden) and learning from the artist next door (Peter O’Toole).

TV on DVD

“The Commander, Set 1” (four thrillers by “Prime Suspect’s” Lynda La Plante)
“The Cosby Show – The 25th Anniversary Commemorative Edition” (26 discs, all eight seasons, with commemorative book, Bill Cosby photo, bloopers, new interviews, more)
“Flying: Confessions of a Free Woman” (six-part, reality series about and by 40ish New Yorker Jennifer Fox);
“Dr. Syn: The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh” (Vintage Disney live-action adventure)
“George Gently, Series 1” (BBC cop show)
“The Howdy Doody Show — 40 Episode Collection” (a two-disc, 20-episode set also available)
“I Dream of Jeannie: The Complete Series” (20 discs)
“Live From Abbey Road: Best of Season 1”
“The Lone Ranger 75th Anniversary Collector’s Edition” (12 discs, first two seasons)
“The Mickey Mouse Club Presents: Annette”
“M Squad: The Complete Series” (1950s Lee Marvin cop drama).
“MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge — Vol. Four & Vol. Five”
“The Sopranos: The Complete Series”: all six seasons, 86 episodes, on 30 DVDs; plus two CD soundtracks of the show’s music
“Scrubs: The Complete Seventh Season”
“Shaun The Sheep: Off The Baa!” (from Aardman Animation studio)
“Studio One Anthology” (six discs, 17 shows, including 1954’s “Twelve Angry Men” and two Rod Serling teleplays)
“UFC Classics Collection: Gift Set Vol. 2”

Steve Carell slips on Maxwell Smart’s spy-spoofish paraphernalia in “Get Smart,” a silly comedy based on a decades-old TV series starring Don Adams and Barbara Feldon.

Turns out the movie’s not as awful as you may have imagined — especially with the “Comedy Optimization Mode” engaged at the start: A phone-booth icon pops up onscreen, click it and you see an alternate version, or versions, of the same scene, usually with ad-libs funnier than what made it into the theatrical version (which is also on the disc).

Tip: Skip the Terence Stamp alternates; not funny
.
Carell’s timing is on target as the analyst-turned-agent, and he and Anne Hathaway as his reluctant veteran partner Agent 99 meld well.

Most of the physical gags work but the verbal jokes are more hit than miss, and the plot is skimpy: CONTROL, a good agency (entered via a phone booth), tries to foil a fiendish plot by KAOS, a crime syndicate.

And any similarities to the James Bond movies are not coincidental. Also on Blu-ray.

Extras: Alternate scenes with different versions of jokes on single disc. Gag reel, making-of short, bit with Carell riffing in different languages, digital copy, more on two-disc DVD set and Blu-ray.

Panda expresses

Due in stores next Sunday, “Kung Fu Panda” was one of the year’s most popular pictures.

The animated comedy, also on Blu-ray, presents a colorful look at a clumsy noodle-shop worker (voiced by Jack Black) who studies with a kung fu master (Dustin Hoffman) after he learns he’s been chosen to fulfill an ancient prophecy.

Lively, cute and amusing, the film will be available in single disc, double pack (with “Secrets of the Furious Five” disc) and Blu-ray.

Extras: Vary with edition; include commentary, effects, making-of shorts, “How to Use Chopsticks,” more.

Good training

One of summer’s most entertaining diversions, the atmospheric thriller “Transsiberian” rides the capable coattails of Emily Mortimer as the enigmatic wife of a gregarious Texan (Woody Harrelson) who decides they should travel back to Moscow from Beijing by train — a classic setting for a mystery.

On board they wind up sharing a cabin with a scruffy young woman (Kate Mara) and her lusty, quietly menacing Russian boyfriend (Eduardo Noriega), who has an eye for Mortimer’s character.

Soon, death, drugs and a former KGB detective played by Ben Kingsley enter the fray.

The film drops a few surprises into its complex plot, which plays against a snow-covered landscape.

Mortimer’s a marvel. The rest of the cast keeps pace in this captivating, occasionally violent, old-fashioned suspense film. Also on Blu-ray. Extras: None.

Costner’s all wet

An extra 40 minutes of Kevin Costner with gills, webbed toes and a bad attitude; can you stand it?

If so, you should enjoy the remastered “Waterworld 2-Disc Extended Edition,” which includes the original 2-hour, 15-minute theatrical version as well.

Many considered it a career killer (Costner directed as well as starred) because it was overly long, hugely expensive, frequently stupid and suffered from thematic overkill.

In the future, the ice caps have melted on an Earth covered with water due to melted ice caps, a loner known as The Mariner (Costner) clashes with bigoted survivors and cartoonish villains (led by Dennis Hopper, with one eye and over-the-top emoting).

When a single woman (Jeanne Tripplehorn) and a little girl (Tina Majorino of “Veronica Mars”) push their way onto his boat, the rude loner gradually begins to get in touch with his feelings.

Themes such as global warming, ecology, prejudice and the importance of knowing how to swim course through the film, which contains a handful of exciting action sequences, looks good and is entertaining when viewed while doing chores. Extras: None.

Also on DVD

“Alvin and the Chipmunks: Special Edition” (also out as a “Limited Edition Gift Set” with an Alvin Beanie Baby Plush toy): New extras accompany the tale of a struggling songwriter’s (Jason Lee) life with the animated singing critters; includes digital copy.

“Animal House: 30th Anniversary Edition”: Director John Landis’ frat-house screwball comedy classic, with John Belushi, Karen Allen and new extras.

“Baraka”: Restored 70mm film tours 24 countries on six continents as it explores the human condition without words; beautiful imagery; also on Blu-ray.

“The Bourne Trilogy”: The Matt Damon spy thrillers in one set.

“The Boys in the Band”: A cult-favorite 1970 film about a group of gay male friends gathering in a New York apartment for a birthday party; William Friedkin directs.

“Confessions of a Pit Fighter”: Ex-convict seeks to avenge his brother, killed in an illegal underground street fight in East L.A.

“A Christmas Story: Ultimate Collector’s Edition”: Perennial 1940s-era Jean Shepherd charmer with Peter Billingsley as a little boy crazy for a Red Ryder rifle for Christmas; 25-anniversary collector’s edition comes with cookie cutters; also on Blu-ray.

“The Films of Budd Boetticher Box Set”: “The Tall T,” “Decision at Sundown,” “Ride Lonesome,” “Buchanan Rides Alone,” “Comanche Station,” all with Randolph Scott.

“Futurama: Bender’s Game”: A fuel crisis sends the animated Planet Express gang to a dark-matter mine, beneath which they find a medieval land; also on Blu-ray.

“The Good Life”: Comedy-drama set in a football-obsessed Nebraska town where a young man uninterested in the sport escapes with old movie classics; with Mark Webber.

“The Gregory Peck Film Collection”: “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “Cape Fear,” “Arabesque,” “Mirage,” “Captain Newman M.D.,” “The World in His Arms.”

“Noelle”: Young Catholic priest (filmmaker David Wall) comes to Cape Cod village the week before Christmas to close a dying church and becomes involved with townspeople.

“Orchestra of Piazza Vittorio”: Documentary about the musicians who created an organization to save a movie theater in Rome’s Piazza Vittorio and helped change the city’s immigration policy.

“Parliament Funkadelic: The Mothership Connection Live 1976”: Concert film with George Clinton, Bootsy Collins.

“Planet of the Apes: 40 Year Evolution Blu-Ray Collection”: The five “Planet of the Apes” films, beginning with astronauts crash-landing on a world ruled by talking simians with attitude; gobs of extras, some new.

“Popeye the Sailor: 1941-1943, Vol. 3”: Cartoons for spinach lovers.

“Return to Sleepaway Camp”: Freaky camp deaths accelerate in this sequel timed to the original’s 25th anniversary; with Felissa Rose and Vincent Pastore.

“Swing State”: Documentary about Ohio’s 2006 governor’s race and the state’s influence on the presidential election; interviewees include Barack Obama, Bill Clinton.

DVD on TV

“Batman – The Complete Animated Series”
“Chowder Volume 1”; “The Christmas Toy” (with Jim Henson puppets)
“Fraggle Rock Complete Series Collection” (96 episodes, 20 discs, of Henson’s puppetry)
“Get Smart – The Complete Series Gift Set”
“Jag: The Seventh Season”
“Little House on the Prairie: The Complete Series”
“Mind of Mencia: Season Four”
“Primeval: Vol. 1, Series 1 and 2”
“Reaper: Season One”
“Shrek the Halls” (animated ogre family deals with first Christmas in what was originally aired as a half-hour TV special; with original voice cast)
“Son of the Beach: Vol. 2”
“Spin City: The Complete First Season”
“Too Tough to Die: A Tribute to Johnny Ramone” (mix of documentary and concert film)
“The Wild Wild West: The Complete Series Box Set” (1965-1969, 27 discs of Robert Conrad and Ross Martin as President Ulysses S. Grant’s innovative secret agents James West and Artemus Gordon).

You want escapism, adventure, a chance to go slip-sliding away from worldly woes? Then consider immersing yourself in “Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D.”

The disc has a 2-D version on one side, 3-D on the other. Go with the 3-D; once it gets rolling it’s like a water slide through a theme park packed with papier-mache mountains and caves, glow-in-the-dark birdies and the requisite big, toothy T-rex.

Though the Jules Verne-inspired saga targets kids, its appeal is universal despite a simplistic story.

Years ago, our researcher/hero’s (Brendan Fraser doing his Brendan Fraser awkward shtick) brother disappeared on a quest to prove Verne’s novel was true. After our hero discovers clues in his brother’s copy of the book, he enlists his sullen nephew (Josh Hutcherson) and hires an Icelandic guide (Anita Briem) fluid in flirting to see what they can see.

After an “Indiana Jones”-ish mine-car ride through an abandoned mine shaft, the three pull an “Alice in Wonderland” and tumble into the bowels of a brave new world.

There are plot holes aplenty and a couple of rides that get the adrenalin flowing.

The disc comes with four pairs of 3-D glasses. The 3-D version bleeds out much of the color, but it’s the more exciting version.

Extras: Commentary; shorts on dinosaur drool, hollow-Earth theories, Hutcherson, making the film.

A living doll

For a movie based on a doll series and aimed at little girls, “Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” is surprisingly entertaining — and topical.

During the Great Depression (the last one), a spunky 9-year-old (wide-eyed, effervescent Abigail Breslin) with optimism skipping through her veins wants to be a journalist.

In her treehouse, she types stories about the growing number of foreclosures (ouch) in her neighborhood, a spree of robberies and lives of two young hobos doing repair work in return for food.

All this while, on the home front, her father (Chris O’Donnell) loses his car dealership and her mother (Julia Ormond) takes in borders to help make the mortgage.

This is a cute kids pic that takes a light touch to stereotyping, classism, survival and abandonment — and tosses in a modicum of suspense to keep things interesting.

The storytelling’s brisk and the sentimentality only grates occasionally. The hokey villains — I imagine to keep things kid-friendly — are the only negative.

Extras: “American Girl” trailer gallery.

Bare-naked ladies

Porn star Jenna Jameson is really something, even covered in blood and with a gaping hole in her neck.

She plays the first stripper victim in “Zombie Strippers.” And what that title conjures in your mind is accurate.

Actual dialogue: “They’re zombies.” “No, they’re strippers.” “They’re zombie strippers.”

Except for one memorable sequence (too graphic to describe) during a zombie-stripper catfight, this horror comedy is pretty awful — and I like the genre.

The dancers get infected and their bodies start to deteriorate, yet they prove even more popular gyrating before the Y-chromosome crowd.

Best line: “Look, this zombie thing’s gotta end. The other girls can’t get any stage time.” The gruesomeness is beyond description.

The film’s like a bad accident, “Showgirls” redone by Ed Wood and George A. Romero — all ham, no wry.

Clever title, though.

Extras: Behind the scenes; deleted scenes; commentary; zombie prep. Blu-ray also offers a pop-up trivia track and gory scenes that didn’t make the final cut.

Also on DVD

“The Cult of the Suicide Bomber 2”: Former Middle East CIA agent Robert Baer explores why women join the bomber cult in this documentary.

“Diary of the Dead” on Blu-ray: College friends make horror film, encounter zombies, keep camera rolling; “Cloverdale’s” better, but George A. Romero’s film grows on you.

“The Flight Before Christmas”: Young reindeer with vertigo takes flying lessons and joins animals to save Santa.

“Halloween Collector’s Edition”: Multidisc Rob Zombie version, with Michael Myers’ origins; also on Blu-ray.

“Hank and Mike”: Two blue-collar guys get laid off from jobs as Easter Bunnies, look for work, try to get women; with Chris Klein, Joe Mantegna.

“Hell Ride”: Biker-gang vengeance and violence; with Dennis Hopper; on Blu-ray, too.

“The Little Rascals: The Complete Collection”: Eight discs with 80 remastered restored shorts, arranged chronologically; with Spanky, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Darla and Pete the dog; gobs of bonus materials.

“Michigan vs. Ohio State: The Rivalry”: Football, when Michigan was good.

“Red”: Aging recluse seeks justice when teen punks kill his dog; with Brian Cox.

“Romancing the Stone” on Blu-ray: A young Kathleen Turner plays a romance novelist on a treasure hunt assisted by a young Michael Douglas as a soldier of fortune; cute, fun.

“Six in Paris”: Six short stories, six directors (Chabrol, Douchet, Godard, Pollet, Rohmer, Rouch); in French.

“Tinker Bell”: Tink tries to change in a pre-Peter Pan Never Land; computer-animated; also on Blu-ray.

TV on DVD

“Affairs of the Heart, Series One” (seven Henry James tales)
“Agatha Christie: Mystery Lover’s Collection” (five stores, with Poirot, Marple and such)
“Carlos Mencia: Performance Enhanced — Extended and Uncensored”
“Dale Earnhardt 10 Greatest Wins”
“Discovery Essential Dinosaur Pack” (four-parter on two discs)
“Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure” (by Andrew Davies of “Bridget Jones’ Diary”)
“The 4400: The Complete Series”
“Girlfriends: The Fifth Season”
“Little Tikes Land”
“The L Word: The Complete Fifth Season”
“Mystery Science Theater 300: 20th Anniversary Edition”: (four discs, four previously unreleased episodes, lobby cards, Crow T. Robot figurine, in embossed tin)
“Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal”
“Sister, Sister: The First Season”

Don’t know about the polls but John McCain has a definite lead over Barack Obama in the box-office race.

If you scratch your brain you may remember Sen. McCain doing a cameo as himself, shaking hands with Christopher Walken and Jane Seymour prior to a ceremony in 2005’s “Wedding Crashers.”

Spout.com lists the McCain moment as No. 1 in its “10 Great Film Cameos From Politicians!”

Among the others are Gerald Ford in 1978’s “The Bees”; George W. Bush in 2006’s “Death of a President”; John F. Kennedy, via digital razzle-dazzle, in 1994’s “Forrest Gump”; Ed Koch in 1984’s “The Muppets Take Manhattan”; and Rudy Giuliani in 1999’s “The Out-of-Towners.”

I guess politicians are always ready for their close-up.

Eric M. Wolfson got his first role at 9, thanks to some fractured teeth.

A San Francisco native, Wolfson says his neighbor, Linda Ayers, was making a movie called “Victims” and she needed a little kid to walk out of the dentist’s office.

“It just so happened I butchered my teeth in a water slide accident (and) I had these big metal brackets,” says Wolfson, whose new movie “Callback: ‘The Unmaking of Bloodstain’ ” opened Oct. 17 at the Lumiere in San Francisco.

She asked him if he’d like to audition and he nailed the part. He even remembers his one line: “OK, then, I’ll see you later.”

No doubt delivered like Brando.

Wolfson, 33, fell into Shakespeare in later years. He was Tony in the S.F. production of “Tony and Tina’s Wedding” in 1999, took classes at ACT, and worked with New Conservatory Theater.

When he moved to L.A., at 25, he became interested in writing and directing so he immersed himself in filmmaking classes and started Jaffle, his own production company.

He describes “Callback,” his first feature-length film, as “sort of the underbelly of ‘Entourage,’ about the three main types of actors working in L.A.”

He lists them as the overnight success who’s been working for years unsuccessfully and is suddenly discovered; the person who gets off the bus in L.A. and two weeks later lands a movie role; and the person who gets ahead in the business because of nepotism.

“What we did with the characters is took the archetypes and blew them out in over-the-top proportions.”

And speaking of nepotism: Wolfson gives himself a cameo at “the bartender.”

The fillmmaker’s currently in post-production with his first documentary, “Sticky.”

“What do you think it’s about?” he asks me.

“Dealing with gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe?” I suggest.

“It’s the definitive documentary on masturbation,” Wolfson says, “a nonexplicit, cross-gender, cross-cultural examination of the subject from an anthropological, pop culture and political bent.”

OK.

Long-term, he says, “I’d like to be able to tell the stories I want to tell full time. I’ve got a ton of stories I want to tell to the world.”

This has been one of them.

I meant to see “Bottle Shock,” the Napa-wines-are-champs film, when I was vacationing in Monterey. But the timing wasn’t right.

Had I gone, I would have seen 1993 San Ramon Valley High grad Hal B. Klein — although I wouldn’t have recognized him since we’ve never met face-to-face.

Klein plays Shenky, good buddy of Bo, who is the son of the man who owns Napa Chateau Montelena, site of most of the film. It was shot primarily in Napa and Sonoma.

“My career’s going in the right direction, which is nice,” Klein says in a phone interview from the New York apartment where he lives with his Italian greyhound, Lucy.

“I tend to play a lot of regular guys with kind of a twist; guys who are kind of quirky.”

“An awkward kid from New York,” Klein and his family moved to Danville when he was 14. He took up drama to meet people, he says, and eventually graduated to roles at the Regional Center for the Arts in Walnut Creek, in shows such as “Fiddler on the Roof” and “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying,” as well as several youth musicals.

Klein’s next movie, “Nobel Son,” is due in theaters Nov. 14. Bill Pullman, Alan Rickman, Danny DeVito and Eliza Dushku star.

Klein plays “the coffee-shop guy, the Tully’s guy,” he says. “There’s a little poetry involved, too. He gets to recite a poem to someone.”

He says the movie — about a mean-spirited Nobel Prize-winning chemist whose son is kidnapped when the father leaves to pick up his prize — is a blend of dark comedy and action.

Klein expects to start shooting a new film in mid-November, but it’s not etched in certainty.

Also on his agenda is putting together a TV cooking show targeting guys ages 21-35.

In the meantime, he planned to visit the Bay Area to join his parents, Blackhawk residents Bart and Sally Klein, for the Sharks opener.

You can catch him at www.halbklein.com.

So I’m sitting on the couch watching the cable guy connect a fat white wire to a modem the size of refrigerator.

With the other wires dangling from my media center, that side of the living room looks like a sleeping squid.

“I’ve seen all those movies,” the cable guy says, nodding to the stacks of DVDs on a table near the squid’s head. “I’m a big fan.”

“Hmm,” I say.

“I was in ‘Dodgeball,’” he says. “I play one of the guys on the German team. I didn’t get a credit but (you can see it’s me).”

No kidding, I think. He’s got those blond, Nordic good looks and seems in shape.

He says he’s also in a crowd scene in “Rush Hour 2.” And as a kid, he was an extra in “Leaving Las Vegas.”

He lives in Fremont now. He’s taking a break from acting to raise a family.

His name is Randy Finch. He’s my cable guy.

I think it was the late Herb Caen who said, “There are really only 100 people in the world.”

Harrison Ford may outlive us all.

Though he qualifies for Social Security, he still looks spry doing most of his own stunts in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

Granted, he lumbers more than flows as he runs, climbs, jumps and ducks, but his enthusiasm’s evident and he’s still fun to watch.

Toss in the usual wit, a couple of terrific chase sequences and the return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, the best of the “Indiana Jones” female leads, and you’ve got a winner.

The ragged plot won’t disturb escapists. Shia LeBeouf plays Mutt Williams, a brash teen who recruits Indy to help find his kidnapped mother, sending the duo to a variety of colorful locales.

Exposition that played like white noise on the big screen makes a modicum of sense on the small screen despite containing more holes than a colander.

Packed with personality and wit, director Steven Spielberg’s movie is out in one- and two-disc versions and in a set with all four Indy films; also on Blu-ray.

Extras: Blu-ray and two-disc editions contain an entertaining making-of doc called “Production Diary” (check out the “Wrapping Up!” segment); “Adventures in Post-Production” (good pieces on creating the jungle chase and dubbing sounds); pre-production; much more.

A man and a woman

Temudgin, the wily and observant young boy who grows up to become Genghis Khan, chooses his wife at 14, as is the custom among the nomadic people in “Mongol,” Kazakhstan’s 2007 Oscar nominee for best-foreign-language film.

Russian director Sergei Bodrov creates a powerful sense of place, 12th-century Mongolia, and a compelling picture of the tough, scrappy people who inhabit it.

An art-house movie with great legs, the story presents the future world conqueror as a complex man, part visionary, part warrior pulled by his destiny, part devoted husband in love with one woman (played by Khulan Chuluun) his entire life.

In Mongolian with subtitles, the film is beautifully shot and well-acted by Odnyam Odsuren, grounded and convincing as the young Temudgin, and Asano Tadanobu as the adult Temudgin. Tight storytelling, impressive battle sequences, mesmerizing film. Also on Blu-ray.

Extras: None.

Revisiting `Holiday Inn’
I imagine if I were 14 and forced to watch “Holiday Inn” with my family, I’d prefer the new colorized version to the classic black-and-white. Both are included in “Holiday Inn – 3 Disc Collectors Set,” along with a complete soundtrack.

Apparently, I’m old school. Despite a belief that most black-and-white musicals benefit from colorization, I prefer the nostalgia that accompanies the b&w original with “Holiday Inn.”

Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire are at the top of their games — and their chemistry’s a big reason for the film’s enduring popularity. Toss in the Irving Berlin tunes (“White Christmas”), the fancy dancing, witty script and schmaltzy but endearing love story and you’ve got a classic.

Astaire woos away Crosby’s female partner, so Crosby retires to a New England inn which he only opens for the holidays. When Astaire dances off with Crosby’s new love and singing partner (Marjorie Reynolds), the rivalry is off and running.

One caveat: It’s embarrassing to see Ethel Waters’ maid stereotype and hear the racism in comments by Crosby and Reynolds as they prepare for a minstrel number.

Extras: Dry documentary about colorizing on the color disc; shorts on the Astaire-Crosby pairings and how films captured singing and dancing, plus a commentary that includes archival comments by Crosby and Astaire, on the b&w.

Hitman redux

John Cusack re-creates his weary hitman character from “Grosse Pointe Blank” in the convoluted satire “War, Inc.”

Directed by Joshua Seftel, the story’s a hyper-real, futuristic, unfunny farce about an assassin hired to knock off an oil minister named Omar Sharif in a besieged Middle Eastern country operated by a multinational corporation.

Besides its grating smugness, the picture pummels you with its political points until you want to kick it in the shin. There are a few laughs and a lot of embarrassing moments.

The cast is attractive: “Grosse Pointe” alums Joan Cusack and Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley, Hilary Duff and Marisa Tomei. Duff shines as Yonica Babyyeah, a spoiled, sexy Central Asian pop star. I kept waiting for John Cusack to do something I hadn’t seen before, but there wasn’t a glimmer.

Extras: None.

Also on DVD

“Arts Engine’s Ten Year Anniversary Collection”: Social-issue documentaries and shorts such as “Election Day,” “Deadline,” “Nuyorican Dream” and “Innocent Until Proven Guilty.”

“Capricorn One: Special Edition”: Sci-fi film with the first manned Mars mission as a hoax perpetuated on the world; with Elliott Gould, James Brolin and O.J. Simpson.

“Chaplin: 15th Anniversary Edition”: Robert Downey Jr.’s terrific as pioneer filmmaker and silent-screen star Charlie Chaplin; remastered with new extras.

“Ghost House Underground”: Eight films of varying quality, shock value and gruesomeness, available as set or individually: “Dance of the Dead” (zombies on prom night; gory fun); “No Man’s Land: The Rise of the Reeker” (eerie killer stalks bank robbers); “The Substitute” (teacher from outer space); “Dark Floors” (stuck on the hospital floor from hell); “Trackman” (deformed madman tracks bank robbers in old subway); “Room 205” (ghost kills residents of female dorm); “Last House in the Woods” (couple face sadistic bullies and kid with really big teeth); “Brotherhood of Blood” (bottom-barrel vampire-hunting flick that even Sid Haig can’t resuscitate).

“The Long Green Line”: Documentary about New York High School cross-country coach and team vying for school’s 25 state title in 50 years.

“Halloween 30th Anniversary Set”: On six discs packaged with a miniature Michael Myers mask.

“Ludwig”: Luchino Visconti’s four-hour epic about King Ludwig II of Bavaria”; with Helmut Berger, Romy Schneider; subtitled.

“The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie”: Animated.

“Richard O’Brien’s Rocky Horror Tribute Show”: Preview stars from the show join other performers in version with rewritten narration; with O’Brien, Michael Ball, Anthony Head, Little Nell.

“Saving God”: Ex-con-turned-pastor (Ving Rhames) tries to save young man (Dean McDermott) from life of drugs and violence; also on Blu-ray.

“Stuck”: To protect her career, an overworked nursing assistant leaves a homeless man stuck in her windshield while she decides what to do with him after she hits him with her car; with Mena Suvari and Stephen Rea; based on a true story, making it a candidate for Stupid People Tricks.

“Warren Miller’s Playground”: Skiing, snowboarding in Dubai, Japan, Sweden, Alaska; also on Blu-ray.

“There’ll Always Be an England”: Concert film of the Sex Pistols’ 30th-anniversary shows last year at Brixton Academy.

“White House Pets”: Our presidents’ four-legged friends; and Martha Washington’s two-legged parrot.

TV on DVD

“Back to You: Season 1”
“Bob the Builder: BIG Build Collection”
“Chris Isaak Christmas”
“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The Eighth Season”
“Elmo’s Christmas Countdown”
“The Legend of the Crystal Skulls”
“Liberty’s Kids: The Complete Series”
“Life With Derek: The Complete First Season”
“Lil’ Bush: Resident of the United States: Season Two”
“Nash Bridges: The First Season”
“The Partridge Family: Seasons 1 and 2”
“The Sarah Silverman Program: Season Two, Vol. One”
“Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant”
“The Unit: Season Three”
“The Universe: The Complete Season Two”
“Thomas & Friends: Whistle Express Collection”
“Vampire Princess”
“Witness to the Mob.”

‘The Happening” is not quite the morbid slog it was on the big screen.

It’s still loonier than a box of Jujubes. And M. Night Shyamalan jackhammers his green theme with the subtlety of a whoopee cushion.

But the oft-inane dialogue and story inconsistencies notwithstanding, the director’s first R-rated film plays better on the small screen. Smaller expectations, I guess.

One fine day in New York’s Central Park, all the people stop moving and some kill themselves. (Why they all don’t is inconsistency No. 1.)

Meanwhile in Philadelphia, a science teacher (Mark Wahlberg) finishes a lecture on the strange disappearance of honeybees. (Hmm.) Anticipating the spread of the New York event, the teacher, his troubled but appealingly screwy wife (Zooey Deschanel) and gaggles of others exit the city for the sanctuary of the countryside.

Only there is no sanctuary in “The Happening,” just lengthy jaunts through green fields, more death, bursts of violence, haunting visuals and close-ups of Deschanel’s clear blue eyes.

Extras: Deschanel’s comic talent shines on the first of four deleted scenes; educational anatomy of a scene; worthless gag reel; making-of doc where Shyamalan says he wanted this to be a great Grade-B film.

Coming of middle-age

“The Visitor” was an art-house fixture for months, and deservedly so. The life-affirming character piece resonates with emotional complexities.

Acting vet Richard Jenkins (“Six Feet Under”) makes the most of his leading role as a lonely, widowed New England professor barely going through the motions when he’s sent to New York to present a paper.

Entering his apartment for the first time in ages, he finds two immigrants settled in ­— a lively young Syrian drummer (Haaz Sleiman) and his wary Nigerian girlfriend (Danai Gurira).

The lonely widower lets the couple stay, and as they become friends, he gradually squeezes out of his shell.

With an assist from the boy’s mother (Hiam Abbass), he also becomes involved in post-9/11 immigration politics. Written and directed by Tom McCarthy (“The Station Agent”).

Recommended.

Extras: Upbeat bit on playing the Djembe (hour-glass-shaped drum prounounced JEM-bay); short on cast members; commentary; more.

Citizen Welles

The classic opening shot of “Touch of Evil” — a big man slowly drives a car carrying explosives through a seamy Mexican town toward the border gate — still mesmerizes after countless viewings.

That sets the ominous tone for director-star Orson Welles’ unsettling black-and-white noir saga about a corrupt, border-town police chief (Welles), a strait-laced Mexican narcotics officer (Charlton Heston with darkened skin), his harassed new bride (Janet Leigh) and murder.

“Touch of Evil: 50th Anniversary Edition” contains three versions of the film – restored 1998 cut re-edited from Welles’ detailed memo; 1958 theatrical version; preview version created before the ’58 cut. That’s a tasty package for film students or collectors. Otherwise, it’s a bit much.

The restored version, out since 2000, is a better bet for most.

Extras: Best bonus is a reproduction of Welles’ 58-page memo to the studio after he saw Universal’s rough cut; commentaries; much more.

Also on DVD

“The Alice Faye Collection, Vol. 2”: “Hollywood Cavalcade”; “The Great American Broadcast”; “Four Jills in a Jeep”; “Rose of Washington Square”; “Hello, Frisco, Hello.” Giddy musical fun.

“Body Heat”: Lawrence Kasdan’s first was this noir classic that keys to a very steamy affair between married Kathleen Turner and lawyer William Hurt; on Blu-ray. A good one.

“Boy A”: Ex-convict, forced to take the name Boy A, tries to adjust to society after 14 years in a juvenile prison; with Andrew Garfield.

“Feast II”: Creatures from the original gore fest chomp on survivors and nearby townies; downbeat, not much fun, but cool female biker gang.

“Halloween”: Recent Rob Zombie version with 4½ hours of extras (on Blu-ray Oct. 21).

“Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead”: Sadistic trucker pursues four young travelers; torture and gruesomeness ensue.

“Normal”: Two years after a teen is killed by a drunken driver, all the people touched by incident deal with the emotional fallout.

“Ray Harryhausen Collectible DVD Set”: “It Came From Beneath the Sea,” “Earth vs. the Flying Saucers” and “20 Million Miles to Earth: 50th Anniversary Edition”; on DVD and Blu-ray.

“Rest Stop: Don’t Look Back (Uncut)”: Proud to be bloodier and more gruesome than its predecessor, the film looks at three young travelers as they encounter a brutal killer, living corpses and revenge-minded ghosts; also on Blu-ray.

“The 7th Voyage of Sinbad: 50th Anniversary Edition”: Colorful, exciting, fun fantasy, with battling skeletons, a miniature princess and other Ray Harryhausen stop-motion effects; also on Blu-ray.

“Sleeping Beauty 50th Anniversary Platinum Edition”: Handsome, restored, with a never-before-seen expanded edition of Disney’s animated classic; alternate opening; deleted songs; also on Blu-ray.

“Solidbodies, the 50 Year Guitar War”: Five-decade competition between the Fender Stratocaster and the Gibson Les Paul.

“Spirit of Marathon”: Shot over four years as six runners prepare for the Chicago Marathon.

“A Very British Gangster”: About the U.K.’s notorious Noonan crime family.

“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan”: Super Mossad agent Adam Sandler fakes his death to realize his dream of becoming a New York City hairtsylist.

TV on DVD

“The Beverly Hillbillies: The Official Second Season”
“Brotherhood: The Complete Second Season”
“Cesar Millan: Mastering Leadership”
“A Charlie Brown Christmas Deluxe Edition”
“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Deluxe Edition”
“How I Met Your Mother: Season 3”
“Keeping Up With the Kardashians: Season One”
“Martin: The Complete Fifth Season”
“Midsomer Murders, Set Eleven”
“Mission: Impossible: The Fifth TV Season”