I want to clear up a few things about my blog. It occurs to me that many of my readers get an awfully negative view of me, my school, and this district. It is true that there are many things that are going terribly wrong here, but it is also true that many of the people I work with are incredibly skilled and thoughtful and effective in their jobs.

I had a long talk with a fellow staff member after school who read my last post and identified with the nagging Open Court monster some of us turn to when we attempt to teach a boxed curriculum to kids who are more spherical. We discussed how frustrating it is to feel like we never get the time to share ideas or plan together because of other constraints.

Let me list off those constraints:

• Our school had the lowest test scores in the district last year.
• Our administration is new to their positions
• We are a brand new school (new small school)
• We have 11 brand new teachers at our school (K-3) and 2 brand new teachers in the 4th and 5th grades... are you sensing a trend?
• We have ONE reading coach.
• We have ONE prep teacher who meets with each class to teach them writing ONE time per week.
• We have a computer lab that is not functional because as far as I can tell it's piled with boxes.
• We do not have a reading intervention teacher, but I have 4 kids who read more than 2 grade levels behind and 10 that read one grade level behind (yes, that's 14 just in my class).
• Our copiers are always broken whether because they're old and worn or because they're old and we wear them out!
• There just aren't enough experienced staff members to go around helping all of us newbies figure out how to make the best use of our time!

We also discussed how sad it is that we don't spend time giving ourselves credit for the things we are doing well. So much of our staff time is spent looking at our failing test scores and breaking down whose class has more or less red than last time (for those of you who don't get a chance to look at OUSD's standardized test score print-outs, they are color-coded to make it easier to see what's what: red is far below basic, orange is below basic, yellow is approaching, green is at standard and blue is above standard.)

So here are some of the positive things going on at my site:

• We have teachers spending their personal time before and after school tutoring kids so they can learn to read and meet grade-level math standards
• We have a cracker-jack second grade bilingual team who is basically writing their own transition plan so that when they get to all-English classes in third grade, they'll be prepared.
• We have a terrific custodian who will get us anything we need, including furniture and good advice but also royal barbeque luncheon the week before our holiday break.
• We have amazing first grade teachers who go out of their way to create celebrations for the 100th day of school and teach their kids about Martin Luther King, Jr., even though they really don't have time in the day.
• We have a reading coach who volunteers to make fluency packets for us so our kids can achieve their fluency goals.
• We have a parent liaison who organizes parent meetings, evening celebrations, and awards ceremonies.
• We have an office staff that helps pathetically monolingual people like me translate our papers and interpret during parent meetings.
• We have parents who dedicate their time to come discuss budget issues at Site Council meetings.
• We have teachers who come at 6:30 every morning and teachers that stay until 6:30 every night and some that do both.

So while we are certainly working against incredible odds, we're all doing our best. The negatives are real and need to be addressed seriously (and by someone who has more perspective and know-how than I), but I do hope that we can also appreciate the things we're doing to make the best of this difficult situation.

I didn't realize that I had been clicking the wrong button, so I've had a couple posts just sitting in a cyber-pile on my e-desk. If you think that's bad, you should see my real desk!

I am definitely going in circles. Just when I think I've got a new pattern, a new level of success, it blows up or flops and I lose confidence. I end up going back to being a screeching, nasty, frustrated, rapid-fire Open Court sheep. I feel like I'm swimming in a whirlpool, around and around and around again, with a distinct sinking sensation.

But we're not at the bottom yet and I'm going to do my best to swim toward the sun.

My partner is a veteran teacher, a product of Teach for America, and a believer in progressive, culturally responsive, high-standards teaching and learning. I sat down with him this weekend to get some help making sense of my Open Court routines. After five minutes of explaining to him what I do each day and how it's so different from day to day, he told me to stop and close my book. He dismantled the various parts of the Open Court routine and developed a routine that is predictable and manageable. And also managed to build back my confidence.

I'm going to transition to doing more in small groups so that I can be more focused and targeted with the kids' needs. I'm going to try to stop doing so much teacher-centered, whole-group stuff because the kids don't benefit from it, and I feel like a big meanie. I actually told my kids a week ago that I feel like I'm playing Whack-a-Mole during whole-group instruction because I'm constantly asking them to sit down, criss-cross, hands in their laps, lips zipped, eyes on me. (For those of you outside the sphere of children's games, Whack-a-Mole is a game where each player gets a mallet and they have to whack little moles on the head when they pop out of their holes.) I'm going to stick to the same schedule every day with the hopes that the kids will finally stop guessing at what's coming next so we can all focus on the little steps that build to big success.

A week into the new routine and I already notice a huge difference. I've devoted clear-cut and substantial time to writing and I already see that they are writing more interesting and richer texts. I've devoted a short time to teaching grammar and mechanics with a clear expectation of the evidence they must produce to show they "get it," which is uplifting for them and actually giving them the time they need to think and try it on their own. I have high hopes that this will pull me out of the whirlpool.

I went to hear the presentation for Dr. Payne about OUSD's school reform tonight. I went after a long day (even though it was a minimum day...) at school, after participating in yet another professional development meeting where we focus on how badly our kids score on benchmark tests and try to write plans to improve the scores. (I always leave those meetings feeling like a no-nothing failure especially because it seems like my class is the lowest of the low in our grade level.)

I was very interested to hear from the principals that had gone through the reorganization to become small schools. I was impressed to hear how many of them had been in the profession as teachers and principals for a very long time and were using this opportunity to grow in their profession while trying to make huge improvements in their schools and the communities they serve. I loved hearing from the principal at Foster who grew up in Trinidad and kept reiterating that if that country can have a 98% literacy rate with only one overhead projecter per school, there is no excuse for not being able to do it in Oakland, which seems to always have extra money at the end of the fiscal year.

When Dr. Payne finally got up to speak, he had some wise and helpful thoughts to share about OUSD's attempt at school reform. He cautioned that the waves of small school transitions are getting bigger and bigger and that we may have bitten off more than we can chew, let alone digest. He worries that with 45 new schools now, it is more difficult to support the growth since the resources are now spread much thinner than in the initial phases of the small school movement. Issues were raised by attendees about the level of respect and support for veteran teachers and the effectiveness of a system that relies on so many new teachers each year. He addressed the issue at our school (the fact that we have 11 out of 16 new teachers) by saying that kind of concentration of newness could never be good for a school.

I know that it's an issue I've struggled with a lot. I wonder if I would have ever accepted this position if I had known Read the rest of this entry »

The past few weeks have been really tough. My "discipline" has been going down the drain, my instruction is boring as all hell, and my kids have been generally unhappy. We made it to winter break. We had a lovely party on our last afternoon and the kids made lovely ornaments to take home. I managed to get a thick homework packet together for them to work on over the break and I even managed to differentiate it for my low readers. Now I'm just wallowing in the "what am I going to do next?" pool of thoughts.

I had a long chat with my first grade teacher today who is still teaching and has chosen to work in some of the most difficult schools in the Cleveland area for the past several years. It was comforting to hear her say she still struggles with how to manage difficult administrators and difficult kids. She suggested that I make a more concerted effort to look for the positives in my classroom, which I think is something that I had been telling myself for a while, but was very nice to hear from a seasoned professional. One of the big reasons we all start to hate school is that it's so easy to find all the ways we fall short and so much harder to find the successes. She also suggested that I get parents to volunteer time in our class so I can have another set of hands and eyes to either pull a small group or help monitor the big group while I pull a small group. I know I have supportive parents because any time I ask for materials or chaperones or send out invites to our parties, they are there in a heartbeat with arms full.

I'm pretty fed up with a lot of things going on at our school and I'm disappointed in my performance, but I'm not ready to give up. Like I tell my kids, I gotta dig deep and find the strength to keep going.

It has been great being back at home. Living all my life minus the past half year in the Midwest, you really can notice a significant difference in lifestyle and culture. It's so much more peaceful here, not to mention a nice break from work.

Looking back at what I've gone through, it has been a whirlwind. So much, if not too much, so fast. I can finally take a long, deep breath.

I thought I'd have a lot to say but really all that needs to be said is I feel blessed to be where I'm at. The kids are difficult but they will be manageable. It's sad to see that it is the few troublesome students that ruin it for the other students. I sympathize with those students that want to learn but cannot when the teacher has to deal with other behavioral issues.

One or two students can change the dynamic of an entire classroom.  But, hearing from my mentor teacher, it is those students that help make you a better teacher. You make your lesson but then have to find ways to accommodate those students as well.  You try to make things more interactive, more hands on, more original so that repetition doesn't bore the students to misbehavior.

To be honest with you, creativity was never a strong point of mine. But it's stretching and pulling me in ways I never thought would happen. Read the rest of this entry »

Since I began teaching at EnCompass Academy in East Oakland three and a half months ago, I have been warned many times not to stay too late at school, to be sure to go with a colleague if I wanted to work at school on the weekend, not to hang around the neighborhood past dark.

I was even told by one person who had just moved from the Bay Area from out of state that his parents warned him not to drive through Oakland at all, with the surge of violence the city has been experiencing. These warnings have come from many different people, from family members, to fellow teachers, to people who have never been to Oakland, to staff members at my school.

I never feel like my safety is at risk when I am on the campus of our beautiful new school site that we share with Acorn Woodland Elementary on 81st Ave. near International Blvd. We have bright stucco buildings, garden-lined walkways, walls adorned with student work, an outgoing and positive staff, and a bright and exuberant student body.

When I am within the four walls of my classroom, my first thoughts are not about my safety, but about raising my students' reading levels, seeing evidence that they are learning concepts in my math lessons, teaching students to be compassionate towards one another.

Nevertheless, violence reaches into the harmonic bubble of EnCompass just as it does to many other, if not all, schools in Oakland. Even in the first weeks of school, the families of several students and two colleagues experienced the death of a loved one as a result of violent crime. Last night three students were shot after a McClymonds High School basketball game. Read the rest of this entry »

I've noticed many of the new teachers highlighted here are not writing regularly or not writing at all (including me!). I know I'm really busy figuring out all the new curricula, not to mention the ins and outs of this bureaucracy.

But recently I've spoken with many colleagues and friends who are shocked that I'm participating in this blog as a new teacher, which leads me to wonder if we're avoiding this task because of the concern about our professional status. I will not be tenured until I step into a classroom on the first day of my third year teaching. Until then I'm considered probationary.

Any number of things could happen to me during the next two years: I could make a bad joke, my students could fail all their tests, I could write a blog online and offend someone ... I know that job security is an antiquated notion, but I also know that public schooling is a difficult and rewarding career that I want to pursue for a very long time.

For me, this blog has been an amazing opportunity to hear from veteran teachers as well as parents and citizens who are interested in public education.  I have taken solace in the feedback from those who have left comments here and their ideas and support lead me to believe I am doing the right thing.

So what do you think? Am I risking my job by writing this blog? How much freedom do new teachers have? How much freedom should new teachers have? What are the ethical and professional considerations of publishing this journal? What are my rights to free speech as a probationary employee?

Two days ago the septic tank at our school burst, spewing dirty sewer water, feces, urine, and toilet paper all over our blacktop "yard." This is the central meeting space for children, parents, and teachers. This is a high-traffic area where the 4th and 5th graders, who have been quarantined into portables, travel from their rooms to the cafeteria and the outdoor bathrooms.

Did our school get closed? No. Were parents informed about the accident? Only if they asked. In a middle class school with better-informed parents, school would have been cancelled and parents would all have been informed of the safety and health concerns of the accident. To their credit, the administrators asked that the gates be locked so as to keep children and families out of the yard. They called the city and had trucks out cleaning up the yard all day. But this did not prevent kids from venturing out on their own to check out the spill nor did it prevent teachers from walking right through the filthy water and right into their classrooms.

If you read this and are as outraged as I am, please call the Oakland Unified School District (510-879-8200) and complain. They need to hear what is happening. We need to stand up for the safety of our children.

Siobhan Boylan is a 3rd grade teacher at East Oakland PRIDE.

This weekend I had, quite dramatically, a transformational experience. Two, actually.

On Friday I went to hear Jonathan Kozol speak in Berkeley. He gave his usual talk about Pineapple (a student from the Bronx) and the evil of standardized tests, but he manages to broach such dire subjects like tests and inequality and scripted curricula with a silver lining that instead of being discouraging is inspiring and uplifting. He was pushing his new book, Letters to a Young Teacher, about a young woman in her first year of teaching in Boston. Her tales of subversive rebellion is exactly what I needed to hear. When I got the chance to speak with him and get my fresh new book signed, I got quite choked up as I tried to tell him about the shackles I wear called Open Court, Language for Learning, disfunctional and overwhelmed district staff and seemingly insurmountable fear of failing test scores. I asked him to come to our school. He asked me to write down my contact information. I am hopeful that in the least I will create a powerful ally.

The following day I attended a conference called "Teachers for Social Justice." This is an organization of teachers who use their work in the classroom as a tool to achieve educational equity — and social justice. The opening address was given by an Oakland teacher and SFSU professor, Jeffrey Duncan-Andrade. His thesis rested on the notion that our educational system is currently balanced: On one side of the scale are the "gangstas," who try to sabotage the efforts of the teachers for social justice, while on the other side are the "ridas," who put everything at stake for the success and sustainability of students and their families. In the middle sit the "wankstas," people who want to be ridas, but are pulled by curriculum, paperwork, inexperience, isolation, and, most notably fear, closer to the side of the gangstas. He made it clear that you don't get to be a rida simply by doing your job. You must be prepared, have a clear purpose and vision, reflect, and be willing to take risks. His ending quote was, "Anything worth doing requires risks."

After leaving this conference I felt ready to buck the trends in my classroom (which are going southward) and push aside my complacent compliance in order to liven up my classroom and make it a space for true critical thought and analysis. My purpose has been made quite clear thanks to Duncan-Andrade and Kozol: Ms. Boylan is going to be a rida.

I'll keep you all posted as to how it turns out...

Siobhan Boylan is a 3rd grade teacher at East Oakland PRIDE