I went to hear the presentation for Dr. Payne about OUSD’s school reform tonight. I went after a long day (even though it was a minimum day…) at school, after participating in yet another professional development meeting where we focus on how badly our kids score on benchmark tests and try to write plans to improve the scores. (I always leave those meetings feeling like a no-nothing failure especially because it seems like my class is the lowest of the low in our grade level.)

I was very interested to hear from the principals that had gone through the reorganization to become small schools. I was impressed to hear how many of them had been in the profession as teachers and principals for a very long time and were using this opportunity to grow in their profession while trying to make huge improvements in their schools and the communities they serve. I loved hearing from the principal at Foster who grew up in Trinidad and kept reiterating that if that country can have a 98% literacy rate with only one overhead projecter per school, there is no excuse for not being able to do it in Oakland, which seems to always have extra money at the end of the fiscal year.

When Dr. Payne finally got up to speak, he had some wise and helpful thoughts to share about OUSD’s attempt at school reform. He cautioned that the waves of small school transitions are getting bigger and bigger and that we may have bitten off more than we can chew, let alone digest. He worries that with 45 new schools now, it is more difficult to support the growth since the resources are now spread much thinner than in the initial phases of the small school movement. Issues were raised by attendees about the level of respect and support for veteran teachers and the effectiveness of a system that relies on so many new teachers each year. He addressed the issue at our school (the fact that we have 11 out of 16 new teachers) by saying that kind of concentration of newness could never be good for a school.

I know that it’s an issue I’ve struggled with a lot. I wonder if I would have ever accepted this position if I had known Read the rest of this entry »

The past few weeks have been really tough. My “discipline” has been going down the drain, my instruction is boring as all hell, and my kids have been generally unhappy. We made it to winter break. We had a lovely party on our last afternoon and the kids made lovely ornaments to take home. I managed to get a thick homework packet together for them to work on over the break and I even managed to differentiate it for my low readers. Now I’m just wallowing in the “what am I going to do next?” pool of thoughts.

I had a long chat with my first grade teacher today who is still teaching and has chosen to work in some of the most difficult schools in the Cleveland area for the past several years. It was comforting to hear her say she still struggles with how to manage difficult administrators and difficult kids. She suggested that I make a more concerted effort to look for the positives in my classroom, which I think is something that I had been telling myself for a while, but was very nice to hear from a seasoned professional. One of the big reasons we all start to hate school is that it’s so easy to find all the ways we fall short and so much harder to find the successes. She also suggested that I get parents to volunteer time in our class so I can have another set of hands and eyes to either pull a small group or help monitor the big group while I pull a small group. I know I have supportive parents because any time I ask for materials or chaperones or send out invites to our parties, they are there in a heartbeat with arms full.

I’m pretty fed up with a lot of things going on at our school and I’m disappointed in my performance, but I’m not ready to give up. Like I tell my kids, I gotta dig deep and find the strength to keep going.

It has been great being back at home. Living all my life minus the past half year in the Midwest, you really can notice a significant difference in lifestyle and culture. It’s so much more peaceful here, not to mention a nice break from work.

Looking back at what I’ve gone through, it has been a whirlwind. So much, if not too much, so fast. I can finally take a long, deep breath.

I thought I’d have a lot to say but really all that needs to be said is I feel blessed to be where I’m at. The kids are difficult but they will be manageable. It’s sad to see that it is the few troublesome students that ruin it for the other students. I sympathize with those students that want to learn but cannot when the teacher has to deal with other behavioral issues.

One or two students can change the dynamic of an entire classroom.  But, hearing from my mentor teacher, it is those students that help make you a better teacher. You make your lesson but then have to find ways to accommodate those students as well.  You try to make things more interactive, more hands on, more original so that repetition doesn’t bore the students to misbehavior.

To be honest with you, creativity was never a strong point of mine. But it’s stretching and pulling me in ways I never thought would happen. Read the rest of this entry »