Whew
By Siobhan Boylan
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008 at 7:24 pm in Siobhan Boylan.
The past few weeks have been really tough. My "discipline" has been going down the drain, my instruction is boring as all hell, and my kids have been generally unhappy. We made it to winter break. We had a lovely party on our last afternoon and the kids made lovely ornaments to take home. I managed to get a thick homework packet together for them to work on over the break and I even managed to differentiate it for my low readers. Now I'm just wallowing in the "what am I going to do next?" pool of thoughts.
I had a long chat with my first grade teacher today who is still teaching and has chosen to work in some of the most difficult schools in the Cleveland area for the past several years. It was comforting to hear her say she still struggles with how to manage difficult administrators and difficult kids. She suggested that I make a more concerted effort to look for the positives in my classroom, which I think is something that I had been telling myself for a while, but was very nice to hear from a seasoned professional. One of the big reasons we all start to hate school is that it's so easy to find all the ways we fall short and so much harder to find the successes. She also suggested that I get parents to volunteer time in our class so I can have another set of hands and eyes to either pull a small group or help monitor the big group while I pull a small group. I know I have supportive parents because any time I ask for materials or chaperones or send out invites to our parties, they are there in a heartbeat with arms full.
I'm pretty fed up with a lot of things going on at our school and I'm disappointed in my performance, but I'm not ready to give up. Like I tell my kids, I gotta dig deep and find the strength to keep going.
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February 8th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I feel ya. Everything you are going through.
I teach high school, but it sounds the same.
February 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am
I used to teach at Webster and I know some of the teachers there. They are great. I have also visited the new school PRIDE and I am thoroughly impressed by the changes and the feel of the school. My hat's off to the new administrators and their dedicating energies to clean up the school to the level that it is at now. I have also observed their morning rituals and the calmness throughout the day that did not exist when I was there 5 years ago.
I hope the 3rd grade teachers are working with the kids from last year's second grade because I see from the data that the current 3rd grade came in with strong results.
I also hope that the teachers can see the design and the intentional nature of OCR in reaching or moving students to proficiency. It is hard I know for the new teachers because they have no idea how poor the old curriculum was. A seasoned teacher can see that if you comprehend the core elements of OCR, you can teach any program sustaining those key language concepts in teaching ELA. It requires preparation.
Let's spend more time on preparing with focus and intention and less time trying to find what is wrong with the school. Let's dig deeper at our motives for writing to the public at large. Let's keep focus on the students because they CAN.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Irene: I appreciate your insightful comments about Webster's progress. It's important to look at school reforms in the context of what they replaced.
As the person who established this blog (and begged Siobhan and the other first-year teachers to share their experiences), though, I am left wondering: Are you questioning the motives behind her participation?
Teacher turnover is not a small problem in Oakland, and I think it's invaluable to hear the day-to-day reflections of new teachers who are courageous enough to let us into their world, without the protection of anonymity.
Obviously, one third-grade teacher's experiences at PRIDE can't shed light on the joys and frustrations of the district's entire teaching force, but I see it as a start.
-Katy Murphy (Oakland Tribune education reporter)
February 15th, 2008 at 6:32 am
That is exactly the problem. A first year teacher that has not seen the rest of Oakland really does not know and cannot accurately portray the problems because they have no plateau for comparison. They speak of problems in a great curriculum and want to close the books and do their own things, but they don't have the standards and the knowledge YET to veer off on their own.
Siobhan's teaches in one school yet has continuously made mention of things she really does not know about in another school, including a teacher she thought "just left" without telling anyone. I dug furthe at Human Resources and Siobhan was wrong. She gave the wrong impression about the teacher and the administrators.
I am not sure Katy, but I think your "begging" some people to share their experiences might have discouraged many potential teachers to come to Oakland and so the kids of Oakland suffer once more. The blog is thriving, not the teaching and not the morale.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Hmmm... I would hesitate to link the caliber and morale of Oakland's teaching pool to the existence of a blog (especially one that is updated two or three times a month).
If morale is low and children in Oakland are indeed suffering, as you say, then why worry about an online diary? It seems there are bigger fish to fry.
A school district consists of many, many individuals who make decisions — such as whether to stay or go — based on their perceptions. It's important to be accurate, yes, but I'd challenge anyone to find 20 people who would portray the root causes of the Oakland school district's problems in the exact same way.
February 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
too many thing printed in this particular blogger are simply negative. Why spend so much time blogging instead of preparing for classes.
Sensationalizing is an art in journalism and some poor naive teachers are falling prey here.
February 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Once again, I would like to say that this blog is simply my diary of what I feel and what kind of things I'm going through at my school. I spend an inordinate amount of time preparing for class, and also find the time to write about what I'm doing because I believe that documenting what's going on in urban classrooms is an important part of changing the way things work. I am taking a huge risk by sharing my personal thoughts and would challenge anyone who responds to my blog to consider why it is they never seem to disclose their full names and take ownership of their own negative comments.
As for the teacher who "just left:" please do not insinuate that I am lying. The fifth grade teacher of whom I speak just left. He didn't tell his kids he was leaving, he didn't tell his teaching partners, and it was certainly a surprise when suddenly he didn't show up for work. Whatever was recorded at HR, he left US.
As for my experience at other schools, I am sorry you did not read the rest of my blog where I clearly state that I have been working in education for the past three years. I have observed many other schools and have worked closely with teachers and students in grades 1-11. Of course I do not know the rest of Oakland, but I have never claimed to be writing about the district at large. Again, this blog is about my personal experience. I would be happy to discuss anything I've written or any of your comments, "Irene" and "Candice," but until I know who you really are, which would help determine your motives for invalidating my personal thoughts and feelings, your comments remain suspect.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Candace/Irene: You should be ashamed. Challenging a hard-working new teacher for reflecting on his/her practice, the students, and the school? For crissakes, that's what we are told to do by every education teacher there ever was! Putting it out in public, it has the potential to get other teachers to reflect. And then questioning their work ethic on top of it? Hmmn, sounds like the kind of teacher abuse that drives folks out of the district every year...
I assume if you are able to investigate HR decisions, you are in a position of some authority. So: Why are YOU "wasting time" responding to this blog? Why don't you go solve all the problems that still exist? (Yes, there are a few left, despite the massive lists of "good deeds" the state administrators keep telling us about.)Oh, yeah, because you are a human and thinking and talking and arguing are part of your job/existence. It gets the juices going.
Frankly, this First Year Teacher thing has been basically a bust precisely because the other bloggers have been writing — and it is ominous posters like you that will insure they don't. Siobhan is the only one who has, belatedly, come through.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Sorry, should have said: "Frankly, this First Year Teacher thing has been basically a bust precisely because the other bloggers have NOT been writing..."