Oakland Tribune Outtakes

Notes from Oakland, Berkeley and in between

Even in politically correct Berkeley, this seasonal greeting can’t offend

By kbender
Monday, December 22nd, 2008 at 4:46 pm in Uncategorized.

I traded in the greeting ”Merry Christmas” for “Happy Holidays” a long time ago, but even that message of kindness may not sit well with some folks, especially in politically correct Berkeley.

 

So, I was most pleased to get this electronic greeting from Fred Dodsworth (father of former City Council candidate Asa Dodsworth) and a former newspaperman himself.

 

 

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice , with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and /or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.”

 

“And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling,and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, political party, choice of computer platform, tool brand, or sexual preference of the wishee.”

 

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, it is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself / himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

 

 

“This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of these wishes or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the sender.”

Well said Fred, who later told me he actually borrowed it from his friend Dr. Charles “Chick” Wolf.

 

 

[You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.]

Leave a Reply