These titans of public policy will meet at the Sutter Club in downtown Sacramento for the “Great Sushi Roll-Off,” a cooking competition showcasing California rice. Using authentic ingredients, participants will be judged in such areas as the techniques used to create the rolls and how flavorful the judges find the finished products. The winner of the competition will receive the “Capitol Roller Award,” a plaque featuring a sword typical of those used by Japanese warriors to defend their honor. Republicans and Democrats will adjourn their weekly policy luncheons early to cheer on their leaders in the competition.
“Speaker Núñez is a formidable foe both in the Legislature and in the kitchen, but I have no doubt that my superior culinary skills will prevail when the judges decide the winner of the Great Sushi Roll Off,” Villines said in a news release issued Friday. “I am confident that Assembly Republicans will be bringing home the ‘Capitol Roller Award’ on Tuesday in the first of what will be many victories for us this year.”
Nunez responded with a haiku troika. No, really, he did:
Sushi challenge on
The public very happy
We aren’t naked chefs
Land locked Clovis man
Makes worst Republican Rice
Núñez sushi wins
Feral cats at Capitol
Reject Villines’ swill
That’s some serious smack-talk from some guys who’ll soon be smelling like seaweed and fish.