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A “death wish” from Bay Point

Longtime Contra Times Times reader and unofficial Bay Point Mayor Gloria Magleby has a complaint with this newspaper. Here’s a chuckle for your day:

Obituary, Obituary,
Oh, where can you be?
Are you in section A, or B, or C?
Are you on page 2 or 3 or 5?
‘Cause I’d really like to know for sure,
Whether I’m dead or alive.
Should I look in the Sports Section
For news of my demise,
Or just keep searching ’til
“Obituaries” hit my eyes?
As we older people like to say,
“Keep the obits in the same place and way,
‘Cause, like it or not,
We’re going to be found there some day!”

Signed: Rabble Rouser Gloria

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Schwarzenegger video of the week

From 2000, a brief appearance by our governor in the video for a Bon Jovi song of which I’ve never heard, a strange homage to the backlot brawl of “Blazing Saddles“…

He sits on the motorcycle. He takes his glasses off. He puts his glasses back on. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s ACTING.

If nothing else, this will help the next time you’re playing “The Six Degrees of Arnold:” you can now add Claudia Schiffer, Matt LeBlanc, Emilio Estevez and Jon Bon Jovi to the “first degree” list. No, don’t thank me — it’s what I do.

Previous SVOTWs: November 20, November 13, November 6, October 30, October 23, October 16, October 9, October 2, September 25, September 18, September 11, September 4, August 28, August 21, August 7, July 31, July 24, July 17, July 10, July 3, June 26, June 19, June 12, June 5, May 29, May 22, May 15, May 8, May 1, April 24, April 17, April 10, April 3, March 27, March 20, March 13, March 6, February 27, February 20, February 13, February 6, January 30.

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Rubay drops out of AD15 race

Real estate appraiser Joe Rubay has dropped out of the running for the Republican nomination in Assembly District 15.

That leaves just four Republicans actively campaigning for the hotly contested seat that has attracted a cavalcade of candidates. Seven Democrats have created campaign committees and are raising money for the race, too. Incumbent Assemblyman Guy Houston, R-San Ramon, will term out next year and run for the Contra Costa County Board of Supervisors.

Rubay is personable and fun but he’s new to the political scene and he just couldn’t keep up with his more experienced colleagues, particularly when it came to raising money and attracting endorsements.

As for Rubay’s part, he says he will “support the Republican primary winner 100 percent.”

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McNerney says, “Remember the troops.”

Rep. Jerry McNerney, D-Pleasanton, wants his 11th District constituents to remember the troops this holiday season.

He’ll be collecting holiday cards for soldiers recovering from battle at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C.; for sailors and Marines at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.; and for National Guard and Reserve soldiers stationed at Parks Reserve Forces Training Area right here in Dublin.

“The holiday season can be a difficult time of year for those who serve our country in uniform, particularly those who have returned from battle injured,” he said in a news release. “Some are separated from family, friends, and the traditions that have brought comfort and joy throughout the years and all of them are faced with a life forever changed by their service to our nation. Thoughtful words of encouragement and support from the great people of the 11th district can do a lot to boost the morale of our brave men and women.”

So McNerney wants his constituents to make or buy holiday cards, inscribe them with messages of thanks to service members, and then send or bring the card — unaddressed and with an unsealed envelope — to one of his district offices, in Stockton or Pleasanton, by December 9. His staff will address and seal the envelopes, and he’ll deliver them.

McNerney’s Stockton office is at 2222 Grand Canal Blvd., Suite 7, Stockton, CA 95207; his Pleasanton office is at 5776 Stoneridge Mall Road, Suite 175, Pleasanton, CA 94588.

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What I DON’T want for the holidays…

Hey kids, can’t figure out what to get mom and dad for the holidays this year? How about their very own political think tank!

No, it’s not a joke — the Berkeley-based, nonpartisan Bay Area Center of Voting Research (BACVR) has broken new think-tank ground by putting itself up for sale on eBay. The auction of BACVR, which made headlines back in ’05 by ranking America’s most liberal and conservative cities, began last week and will continue through 9 a.m. Dec. 3.

Co-founder Phil Reiff said BACVR “democratized the staid world of political research by creating the first Internet-based think tank. Using the eBay auction process to select the next leadership for BACVR is a perfect extension of our innovative approach.”

Reiff and co-founder Jason Alderman said they set the opening bid for BACVR intentionally low at $5,000 — chump change for instant punditry! — “in order to attract a wide array of potential new owners and to send a clear message to bidders that running a think tank can be done by anyone, not just Ivy-League professors and Washington, D.C. insiders.”

The BACVR founders say their work has been cited by academic researchers as well as by media outlets worldwide including the New York Times, USA Today, the Associated Press, Agence France-Presse, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Washington Times, the Baltimore Sun, the Miami Herald, the Detroit News, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the Indianapolis Star, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, the Arizona Republic — and the Oakland Tribune, by gosh! — among others. And foreign diplomats from Israel and China have sought out BACVR researchers to better understand the evolving American political process, they claim. Now this pedigree can be yours!

The winning bidder gets all of BACVR’s intellectual assets including the Web site, past research, and well-known name; as an Internet-based organization, it has no physical property or employees to pay.

But wait… order now and get a FREE set of Ginsu knives! (No, not really.)