Valentine’s Day political sex scandal limericks

I can conceive of no better way
To celebrate this romantic day
Than to get poetic handles
On the past year’s sex scandals
And put hypocrisy on display.

Mark SanfordSouth Carolina’s governor Mark
Left his staff and his state in the dark
He said he’d gone hiking
When in fact he was striking
An Argentine extramarital spark.

John EdwardsCandidate John Edwards once proclaimed
For cheating and a child he’d been framed
But now he’s dejected,
He’ll never be elected,
So at last he’ll admit he’s ashamed.

Mike DuvallChatty lawmaker Mike Duvall
Boasted much of his lobbyist doll
He was quite explicit
On affairs quite illicit
Overheard, he replied, “Bye, y’all!

John EnsignNevada’s John Ensign was cheating;
An aide’s wife, her sheets he was heating.
Yet despite all the ruckus
He still holds his office
And it’s Harry Reid who faces unseating.

Each one of these political hoods
Got busted with his hands on the goods
But I’d guess they might say
At the end of the day,
“It’d be worse if I were Tiger Woods.”

Josh Richman

Josh Richman covers state and national politics for the Bay Area News Group. A New York City native, he earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri and reported for the Express-Times of Easton, Pa. for five years before coming to the Oakland Tribune and ANG Newspapers in 1997. He is a frequent guest on KQED Channel 9’s “This Week in Northern California;” a proud father; an Eagle Scout; a somewhat skilled player of low-stakes poker; a rather good cook; a firm believer in the use of semicolons; and an unabashed political junkie who will never, EVER seek elected office.

  • Mary

    So much for true love.
    Happy Valentine’s