Still enough time for a few snarky memos…

I swear, there’ve been enough snide remarks from both sides of the aisle in the run-up to this primary election that I do believe I’m starting to suffer from snarkolepsy. This just in:

California Democratic Party
To: Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman
CC: Political Reporters, Interested Parties
From: Tenoch Flores, Communications Director
Date: June 7, 2010

A friendly reminder, tomorrow is Election Day in California.

Ms. Fiorina and Ms. Whitman, do you have a nagging feeling you might be forgetting something important about tomorrow? We know your track record for voting in California elections hasn’t been much to write home about (see stats below), so your friends at the California Democratic Party are here to walk you through the process. After all, we’re Democrats, we believe that every vote, even those cast by multimillionaires and billionaires, should count.

Carly Fiorina: Since moving to California, you have voted in only 7 of 22 elections for a total of only 32%.

Meg Whitman: Since moving to California, you have voted in only 8 of 19 elections for a total of only 42%.

We hope you find that voting is easy and rewarding, even for newbies! In case you need any help, here’s our step-by-step guide of how to vote tomorrow:

1.) Arrive at your polling place – try to get there early. Polls are open from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. As long as you’re in line by 8 p.m., your vote will be counted. California law ensures that all people are able to vote, even wealthy self-funded candidates.
2.) Choose the best candidate. This will be tricky for you, since neither of you can vote in the Democratic primary and thus will not be able to vote for candidates working hard to create jobs and turn our economy around.
3.) Put your completed ballot in the ballot box. After you have cast your ballot, the poll workers will then give you a sticker that you can wear proudly all day long to show you voted. Be sure to show your sticker to those pesky reporters and members of the media who keep asking questions about your voting record in California, or lack there of.

Congratulations! You did it this time!

Josh Richman

Josh Richman covers state and national politics for the Bay Area News Group. A New York City native, he earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri and reported for the Express-Times of Easton, Pa. for five years before coming to the Oakland Tribune and ANG Newspapers in 1997. He is a frequent guest on KQED Channel 9’s “This Week in Northern California;” a proud father; an Eagle Scout; a somewhat skilled player of low-stakes poker; a rather good cook; a firm believer in the use of semicolons; and an unabashed political junkie who will never, EVER seek elected office.

  • RR, Uninvited Columnist

    Zachary Taylor, hero of Buena Vista, had never voted before he became president. While the lack of voting is regrettable, it is hardly a disqualification for office.

  • John W

    Excellent. Loved it.

    The voting record won’t stop me from voting for Whitman if I decide she is the best choice. I’d love to see Jerry Brown use his government experience and knowledge to take on his own party. So far, I see no sign of that. For the most part he seems to support business as usual on public pensions, with just a little tweaking of this and that. Whitman’s inexperience, refusal to do give and take with the media and buying the office bother me. But we may need her just to serve as a veto power check on the legislature.

  • Elwood

    A wonderful campaign slogan from the last campaign of Jerry’s daddy: