By Josh Richman
Monday, December 6th, 2010 at 5:16 pm in Obama presidency.
Some poetic observations on Johnny Logan Spencer of Kentucky, sentenced today to federal prison for posting to the Internet a poem threatening the life of President Obama.
First, in haiku:
A white-pride dullard
Threatens Obama in verse,
Gets 33 months.
Such a confining form. Perhaps a limerick would work better:
There once was a racist named Spencer,
Whose poetry he didn’t think to censor
He wrote of killing Obama
But the feds said, “Como se llama?”
This moron, he couldn’t be denser.
Or maybe we should make it seasonal:
’Twas three weeks before Christmas, and in Kentucky
Johnny Spencer was feeling fairly unlucky
His poem he’d penned with murderous intent
An ode to assassination, a racist’s lament
The feds they did catch him, and took him to court
And now off to prison with a Marshal’s escort
So let’s learn from Johnny, and remember this day
Threaten the president, and you surely will pay.
OK, those sucked. Anybody out there good with iambic pentameter? Have at it.