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Your political singalong: ‘Akin Breakin’ Heart’

By Josh Richman
Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 3:39 pm in 2012 U.S. Senate election.

(To the tune of “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray “Father of Miley” Cyrus:)

Go and tell Missouri, and tell Governor Romney
I’m not droppin’ out of this campaign
And tell Claire McCaskill, that Democratic rascal
She’d better not be popping that champagne

I was asked about abortion, so I served up a portion
Of knowledge ‘bout “legitimate rape”
I took a lot of heat from the liberal elite
I wish the Dems would stop airing that tape.

But don’t tell my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
That I look like a political clown
‘cause I know in my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
Them woman parts can “shut that whole thing down.”

You can tell John Cornyn he really shouldn’t horn in,
On Show-Me State concerns he shouldn’t scold
And you can tell Scott Brown, way up in Boston-town
At least I never was a centerfold

Oh, tell all your doctors, your uptight Barbara Boxers
I learned the birds’n’bees from my gran’pa
But now they’re using me to judge the GOP
I guess I won’t be welcome in Tampa.

From St. Lou to Kansas City, I’m not getting much pity
Rasmussen shows I’m now 10 points behind
But about a woman’s body, my knowledge ain’t so shoddy
So you can tell ‘em all I’ve not resigned.

And don’t tell my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
That I look like a political clown
‘cause I know in my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
Them woman parts can “shut that whole thing down.”

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  • JohnW

    That Rasmussen poll smacks of Karl Rove mischief.

  • http://lexmaniac.org John A. Barry

    Akin’s Claim: Brain Fart

    “I done told the world, can’t get pregnant a girl
    Who’s been raped, no doubt ’cause of clothes she’d donned
    She probably let him in, no problem she’ll begin
    To shut it down so nothin’ in there’s spawned

    “I caused some alarm, sounded like the funny farm.
    OK! So my choice of words was poor
    Such sushing from the lips about my bonehead quips
    Now party bosses don’t know me no more.”

    He ain’t very smart, so Akin’s claim: brain fart
    He says critics misunderstand
    But they know he ain’t smart, and Akin’s claim: brain fart
    Don’t sell well in sanity land

    Euw!

    “All should become ma’s even if raped by pa’s
    Besides, no one forced ’em to spread their legs
    If she wears a short shift, result must be short shrift
    Because women after men are God’s dregs

    “So now I ask you, please, forgive me, like a sneeze
    It came in an involuntary way
    So please don’t criticize my poor choice of words guys
    God forgave me, so why won’t you today”?

    Ain’t ingrained with smarts, so Akin’s brain departs
    Six terms?! That’s hard understand
    Cuz Akin ain’t too smart, can’t make dim bane depart
    His bosses who now want him banned

    Euw!!

  • Elwood

    Both parties have their loonies.

    Harry Reid has imaginary friends.