Your political singalong: ‘Akin Breakin’ Heart’
By Josh Richman
Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 3:39 pm in 2012 U.S. Senate election.
(To the tune of “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray “Father of Miley” Cyrus:)
Go and tell Missouri, and tell Governor Romney
I’m not droppin’ out of this campaign
And tell Claire McCaskill, that Democratic rascal
She’d better not be popping that champagne
I was asked about abortion, so I served up a portion
Of knowledge ‘bout “legitimate rape”
I took a lot of heat from the liberal elite
I wish the Dems would stop airing that tape.
But don’t tell my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
That I look like a political clown
‘cause I know in my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
Them woman parts can “shut that whole thing down.”
You can tell John Cornyn he really shouldn’t horn in,
On Show-Me State concerns he shouldn’t scold
And you can tell Scott Brown, way up in Boston-town
At least I never was a centerfold
Oh, tell all your doctors, your uptight Barbara Boxers
I learned the birds’n’bees from my gran’pa
But now they’re using me to judge the GOP
I guess I won’t be welcome in Tampa.
From St. Lou to Kansas City, I’m not getting much pity
Rasmussen shows I’m now 10 points behind
But about a woman’s body, my knowledge ain’t so shoddy
So you can tell ‘em all I’ve not resigned.
And don’t tell my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
That I look like a political clown
‘cause I know in my heart, my Akin breakin’ heart
Them woman parts can “shut that whole thing down.”
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August 23rd, 2012 at 6:34 pm
That Rasmussen poll smacks of Karl Rove mischief.
August 27th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Akin’s Claim: Brain Fart
“I done told the world, can’t get pregnant a girl
Who’s been raped, no doubt ’cause of clothes she’d donned
She probably let him in, no problem she’ll begin
To shut it down so nothin’ in there’s spawned
“I caused some alarm, sounded like the funny farm.
OK! So my choice of words was poor
Such sushing from the lips about my bonehead quips
Now party bosses don’t know me no more.”
He ain’t very smart, so Akin’s claim: brain fart
He says critics misunderstand
But they know he ain’t smart, and Akin’s claim: brain fart
Don’t sell well in sanity land
Euw!
“All should become ma’s even if raped by pa’s
Besides, no one forced ’em to spread their legs
If she wears a short shift, result must be short shrift
Because women after men are God’s dregs
“So now I ask you, please, forgive me, like a sneeze
It came in an involuntary way
So please don’t criticize my poor choice of words guys
God forgave me, so why won’t you today”?
Ain’t ingrained with smarts, so Akin’s brain departs
Six terms?! That’s hard understand
Cuz Akin ain’t too smart, can’t make dim bane depart
His bosses who now want him banned
Euw!!
August 27th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Both parties have their loonies.
Harry Reid has imaginary friends.