The Zebra Pen Company, based in New Jersey, sent a letter to the president Thursday offering to donate $5 million to the charity of his choice if the president will publicly disclose what kind of pen – ballpoint, gel, rollerball, etc. – and what color ink he used in filling out his college application, with “bonus points” offered for presenting the actual pen.
“Mr. President, America needs to know these very ‘important’ details,” the pen company asserted.
But to seal the deal, the company said, the president also would have to name Zebra as the official pen of the commander-in-chief, the White House and the Obama campaign, and do all future bill and treaty signings with the company’s pens.
Why do I report on this craven, self-serving tactic to manipulate politics for publicity’s sake? Because it makes just as much sense as reporting on this week’s other craven, self-serving tactic to manipulate politics for publicity’s sake.
The only difference is that Zebra pens are actually sort of useful.