Just how bad would a town’s budget have to be?

A website that matches young people with wealthy benefactors for “romantic” relationships wants to pay a wealthy Bay Area enclave $11.65 million to change its official name to “SugarDaddie.com, U.S.A.”

The Florida-based company probably would be better off changing its own name to FatChance.com. It recently offered Sugar Land, Tex., $4.65 million for the same name change, but the Texans told it to go pound sand. Now the company has turned its attention to Woodside, offering more than twice as much as it did in Texas (take that, Rick Perry!) if the town will adopt its name for seven years.

“The CEO of SugarDaddie.com must receive a key to the town in a formal ceremony presented by local government officials (open to the media and the public) and the long list of celebrity-residents are invited to attend,” the company wrote in a letter to town officials. “SugarDaddie Community Council will replace Woodside Town Council for 10 years. Woodside Public Library must be changed to SugarDaddie Public Library for 5 years. All city websites must be made to reflect the city’s official new name and must be fully implemented within 6 months.”

The letter also demands “either a statue of Hugh Hefner near Town Hall or some other public figure that best represents the sugar daddy lifestyle (costs covered by SugarDaddie.com).”

Riiiiight. Amazingly, the company claims town officials have agreed to put the offer on the Town Council’s agenda for its next meeting, Tuesday, March 12; company representatives will be there to make a presentation in person. My e-mails to the town manager and mayor weren’t returned this afternoon.

Of course this can’t be taken seriously; perhaps the more-than-a-few billionaires who call Woodside home will think it’s funny. And with about 5,400 residents, a median home value of $1 million and a median household income almost four times that of California’s, Woodside must see $11.65 million as chump change.

“If we can’t get a favorable outcome with the folks in Woodside, California, we’re looking into other cities like Sugar City, Colorado and others. We are hell-bent on creating the first dating site-sponsored city in America,” company CEO Steven Pasternack said in a news release.

Pasternak is clearly from the “any press is good press” school of public relations and advertising – probably wise for someone whose industry involves hooking boy- or girl-toys up with rich people.

Josh Richman

Josh Richman covers state and national politics for the Bay Area News Group. A New York City native, he earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri and reported for the Express-Times of Easton, Pa. for five years before coming to the Oakland Tribune and ANG Newspapers in 1997. He is a frequent guest on KQED Channel 9’s “This Week in Northern California;” a proud father; an Eagle Scout; a somewhat skilled player of low-stakes poker; a rather good cook; a firm believer in the use of semicolons; and an unabashed political junkie who will never, EVER seek elected office.