A mysterious masked man appeared in front of Contra Costa County offices in Martinez this morning, carrying a sign that said “Hungry! Need your paycheck.”
Ahem. Turns out it wasn’t exactly a homeless man down on his luck.
It’ was a guy in a Chevron costume, of sorts, with money coming out of his ears and dollar signs for eyeballs. He was protesting Chevron’s $100 million appeal of its property tax assessments for 2007-2009. The appeal proceedings have been under way in Martinez for weeks and probably won’t conclude until January.
He handed out a satire-packed flyer that depicts Chevron as “hurting for dough” and urged folks to attend a noon rally on Dec. 15.

Chevron Man!
Here’s the text of the flyer “Chevron Man” handed out:
SOMEBODY HAS TO SUFFER
YOU DON’T EXPECT US TO
Dear County Worker,
Chevron USA Inc. needs your help. Here’s our hard-luck story.
Everybody who owns a property, a home or rents, pays property taxes. So do we, only we need our money back ’cause we’re hurting for dough.
Granted, we’re the richest corporation in California. Granted our profits have soared for each of the past years. Granted, for eons we’ve gotten the benefit of the loopholes in Proposition 13. Granted we sit on some of the most valuable real estate in the bay.
Our expert “cost segmentation” experts from corporate in San Ramon will gladly tell you that our Richmond refinery is actually losing money.
So we’re asking for a refund on our property taxes for 2004 to 2010 that will only amount to only, say, $168 million dollars.
If we win, the City of Richmond, Contra Costa County, the West Contra Costa Unified School District and special districts like fire, health and Community College will have to cough up, I mean, contribute to our economy.
Speaking of donations, do you realize that last year Chevron gave away $3.7 million to charities? What we’re asking back from you is a measly 25 times that amount.
Here’s the good news, our $168 million tax refunds will result in leaner and smaller government and many of you will get to spend a lot more time at home with your families.
These are tough economic times and somebody has to suffer. You don’t expect a world player like Chevron to (suffer), do you? You’ve heard the motto — too big to fail? Meet its friend — too big to pay.
So do NOT attend the tax assessment appeal hearings in Room 107, Board of Supervisors. It’s closed to the public anyway. (NOTE FROM LISA: That is not accurate. The meetings are public except for segments the three-member appeals board determines deal with trade secrets.)
So do NOT discuss layoffs with your union. (It’s such a downer.)
Above all, do not attend the community rally at 12:00 on December 15 at the Contra Costa County Administration building at 651 Pine Street, Martinez. (Bunch of whiners.)
And thanks for putting our CEO, John F. Watson ($13,987,263) over the top.
Your pal at the pump,
Chevron-Man