Yes, it may sound familiar to you faithful readers, about Perata’s mortgage and foreclosure relief bill currently in the Assembly, but here it is:

In Oakland, you can see a house or two in foreclosure and it’s obvious right away,” he said, saying the bill was an important step to preventing further deterioration of neighborhoods. “It’s like watching a house burn and you can’t do anything about it.”

Perata said that the bill gives local governments the ability to put liens on the property until it’s maintained. That means if the property owners, whether a bank or investors or a mixture of the two, do not clean up the property they could lose the property to the city or county.

“Cities and counties could be in the housing business,” he said.

 Well, I thought that was an interesting point of view. Cities or counties owning some of these foreclosures … hmmm. Start dream sequence … OK, end it. I’m not sure that will happen, but perhaps it’s enough of a threat that the foreclosure owners may start maintaining them. Ideas, anyone?

The state legislature decided to do something to keep rundown REOs from further fanning foreclosures — a $1,000 a day fine for waist-high weeds, squatters and plagueWest Nile virus-carrying mosquitoes. Read on:

California lawmakers want banks and other lenders to make sure foreclosed homes don’t become run down and a source of blight.  If they fail to do that, they’ll face a $1,000-a-day fine under a bill that passed the state Senate on Monday.

In many cases, the vacant properties are overgrown with weeds and shrubs and have become magnets for squatters and vandals. Swimming pools often become stagnant, turning into breeding grounds for mosquitoes.

Will this make a sweeping change? It’s a breaking-news report, so no word so far on how exactly these fines will be enforced … or collected. (Please note ”We Smok Wed” spray-painted on the side of the house. Stay in school, kids!)

One of the responsibilities of being a media provider is that you need to weed through what is a story and what is a nonstory (that’s journo-speak for “Just because someone sends out a press release doesn’t mean it’s news.”) Kind of like this one from Bank of America.

According to the news release and our story today, they will be modifying $40 billion in loans in the next two years. So that’s what? Only $20 billion a year, which they say is about 265,000 customers. Let’s do the math on that.

That’s an average loan of $150,943.40, which seems a bit low to me. So, $200,000 loans would be about 200,000 people. (And don’t get hung up on the numbers, they aren’t losing $40 billion or paying it out, that’s how much the loans are for.)

 That would mean about 100,000 mods a year out of their millions of customers. Not too bad to get press on something that small, is it? And who’s to say they wouldn’t have modified that number anyway? Nothing really.

So, basically we are reporting on a story that has little explanation for the numbers and no context for what it means. A bad story to be passed on to the public who will also ask, “Why is this news?” or better yet, “Why do we have to read this Bank of America propaganda?”

Second to this story on vacant houses from Reuters:

The percentage of owner-occupied homes now sitting empty rose to 2.9 percent in the January-to-March period . . . In the final quarter of last year, the share of vacant non-rental housing stood at 2.8 percent. However, officials at Census called the latest increase “statistically insignificant.”

Still, the total number of vacant U.S. properties hit 18.6 million, which was a record, a Census official said.

So the numbers went up 0.1 percent and the sky is falling. Not really. It is statistically insignificant. But if you say it’s 18.6 million homes empty, it sounds much more dramatic than it rose 0.1 percent, doesn’t it? Again, a nonstory.

(And third, Miley Cyrus showing her scandalous back. Nonstory.)

So there I was, in the neighborhood we want to buy and saw the “Open House” sign. Since I’m such a sucker for those, my husband and I went in to go take a look.

My husband said, “I don’t know. The agent has a 925 area code, it’s going to be overpriced.” (Sorry, but we have found that to be true.)

We go in and are immediately struck by how rundown it is. Shredded carpet everywhere exposing hardwood, there’s sloping, the counters are literally caving in. Then the agent’s assistant tells us that it’s actually THREE units, the main house and two units behind. She insists on taking us through and it’s no better than the main house. The little courtyard was nice, though, and one of the tenants (who apparently smokes heavily because it was all you could smell) had probably the best-looking structure.

As the assistant said, “This is XX, the tenant ….”

XX screamed, “And I want it to stay that way!” The other unit was completely disheartening.

As we get back, my husband and I know we’re really not up for a rental property, especially with Ms. Two Packs A Day. And then the price: $699,000. Yikes! Out of our range.

But the assistant is on us like white on rice: “So do you have an agent?/Have you been prequalified?” She also kept pressuring us to give our names, address and phone. Really high-pressure tactics. I stuck to my guns. Then she said, “Now is the best time to buy. Prices have already hit bottom and they aren’t going to go any lower.”

NOTE TO REAL ESTATE AGENTS: People aren’t stupid. Be there to answer questions and help sell the property, but don’t try to create a fake urgency when there is none. You and I both know when the price is too high, but a few of you will still hope some fool will buy it so you get that bigger commission.

You just waste time. If it’s priced right, as you guys so often tell me, you will get offers — quickly.  No one needs convincing to buy a house.

When they smile and want to leave, let them. That’s their way of saying, “Your price is too high” or “The house is unattractive to me.” Don’t stop them, that just makes them want to leave even more and never, ever come back.

So I saw this on the WSJ Web site and other areas (but the WSJ always has such cool graphics!) and thought it might be of interest. The metamessage isn’t that different from the report I did last month (yes, I’m petty) but just more proof that there is little help out there for people in foreclosure. That means more houses on the market!

Efforts by mortgage-service companies and government officials to address the nation’s mortgage crisis have done little to stanch rising foreclosures, state officials said in a report released Tuesday.

“While there’s been a lot of effort put in by mortgage servicers and government officials, there has been little change in outcomes for homeowners,” said Mark Pearce, deputy banking commissioner for North Carolina. “We’re still treading water.”

The report comes as state officials, frustrated by what they view as the federal government’s inadequate response to the mortgage crisis, are taking increasingly aggressive steps to address the rising rate of foreclosures.

“If loan mitigation and modification don’t produce fruitful results for homeowners, I, for one, would be inclined to look at litigation possibilities to secure help for homeowners,” said Iowa Attorney General Tom Miller. 

Whoa! The government working on behalf of their constituents?!? What’s that like?

I try not to be gung-ho advertising auctions, yet we seem to advertise the puppies. Today is more of the same, with two auctions on Sunday, May 4 in Oakland and Walnut Creek, for those who want a downtown Oakland condo or a single-family home in Pittsburg. (Different audiences, I know.) The low cost is $265,000 in Vista del Mar’s Villages neighborhood which has a $132 a month HOA. According to the sales brochure, minimum bids range from $265K to $415K, and if you know Pittsburg at all — $415,000 is a lot of house.

For $415K, you can get a very nice house, like this. Yeah, sure they’re asking $425,000, but in this market, I’d offer $10,000 lower and ask for closing costs. But I’m cold like ice and refuse to get emotional about these things. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is – There is a lot of inventory out there and you should take the time to go look at it. Maybe even get a better deal with less money down.

 Either way, you know my advice: the last bidders get the best deals! And don’t sit in the front where they get can get in your face. Get a two-row buffer from the salespeople and do not get emotional or caught up in the moment. Only spend what you can afford. No more.

Good luck!

OK, I haven’t seen this at open houses. The best I’ve been offered is lemonade and cookies. (No, thanks.) Never have I been offered booze and beats. (I might have taken them up on that.) But in Miami areas hard hit by the housing crisis, a party just might sell your home. Read on:

In February, throngs of people gathered at a $100,000 poolside party in Miami, downing Roberto Cavalli vodka, sampling food from local restaurants and dancing to a DJ blasting hip-hop and house music. Nearly 1,000 more people showed up than expected, sending the hosts scrambling to provide extra booze and triggering noise complaints from neighbors.

It wasn’t a wedding or a birthday bash. The swanky event — designed with a film theme, with a red carpet and a giant movie screen — was hosted by the Related Group, a luxury developer, to get people to see, and eventually buy, apartments in its new 1,000-unit complex.

Do you buy it as a trend? I think in big developments, like the Potrero in San Francisco, there was a cocktail party but hardly a red-carpet event like the one described above. But the article goes onto say that a realtor in San Jose has done something similar.

Nora Sandoval, a Realtor in San Jose, Calif., shows off homes by creating the feel of a neighborhood cocktail party, with the added bonus of live guitar music or opera soloists, and encourages invitees to bring friends. . . . That was the case with Tomas Diaz, a 37-year-old financial manager, who . . . became friendly with Ms. Sandoval and made it a point to attend her other real-estate parties regularly, looking forward to the artichoke-jalapeno dip, some wine and the music.

Soon after, Mr. Diaz attended one of the parties in a [$700,000]three-bedroom townhouse . . . he decided to buy.

Food (and booze) for thought!

OK, I’ve been Debbie Downer lately, so we are introducing a new feature: Price Check! Where we pick an arbitrary price and see what one can buy, preferably the least skanky. Feel free to suggest your own prices, since mine will be boring and ending in 000s. Onward:

There were many, many homes in Richmond, Oakland and Antioch. Really, you can have your pick of many kinds of architecture, lots and styles. But no way! No house is $300,000 on the Peninsula, because there prices are always golden! Of course, there is. There’s this tiny, 600-square-foot house in Redwood City where you can walk to Costco. Price has been reduced from $345,900 to $305,900 over the last four months. Don’t be afraid to bargain!

There’s this house in old Livermore, which looks a bit dreary and depressing but has a surprisingly updated kitchen, and its seller is asking $304,900. (They can’t all end in the 000s.) The 1,034-square-foot, three-bedroom, one-bath home is a on a decent-sized lot and is probably a shorter drive to the Bay Area than Tracy. So that’s something to think on when you pump your car full of gasoline at $4 a gallon.

In Pittsburg, your $300,000 will buy you a 1,837-square-foot, two-story home in a gated community. It has four bedrooms, 2.5 baths and attached garage. The price was reduced from $475,000 in March to its present price in the last 56 days it’s been on the market. For those who like newer homes, this 2004 model, could be what you’re looking for (and complete with $128 HOA fees.) And how can you go wrong with an agent named Lucky Chan!

Foreclosure fever, have you got it? DataQuick does. And so do I! Read on:

More than 180 homes a day went into foreclosure in the Bay Area during the first quarter of the year, DataQuick Information Systems reported Tuesday.

About 68 percent of homeowners in default during the first few months of 2008 lost their homes, typically owing around $11,474 and five months behind when their lender started to foreclose.

The majority of loans in default, or at least 90 days behind in payments, were originated from August 2005 to October 2006 and were typically 23 months, up from 16 months a year ago. Economist Christopher Thornberg of Beacon Economics said that last year the loans that defaulted were the “newest, most toxic” loans. “Now it’s the older, vintage stuff starting to blow up,” he said.

And 1/3 of all homes sold in California are foreclosures. That’s quite a bit, hmm? More than 2/3 in San Joaquin County. Only a mere 5 percent in San Francisco and in March in Contra Costa it was about 38 percent, in Solano 45 percent, Alameda  23.4 percent, San Mateo it was 11 percent — courtesy of DataQuick analyst Andrew LePage, who is a former Sacramento Bee business reporter (and is probably making way more money.)

Oh, man, just when I was ready to call the end of the “housing crisis” in 2011, I see this. Apparently, the folks at the International Monetary Fund are doing their research. (For those of you who didn’t take development studies courses, the IMF is an international organization run by the United States that spends most of its time giving Western-interest policy advice, crippling the Third World with debt lending funds to developing countries and to ambiguously “strengthen the international finance system,” according to its Web site.)

Anyway, it shows that while we thought the mortgage resets were the problem, it’s actually the “recasts” when the option-ARM (and neg-am) loans hit their cap of 110-125 percent and homeowners have to cough up the balloon payment. Apparently, that happens a few months after, according to the chart and seems to be hitting in 2009 to 2011. According to Paul Jaber:

A good analogy is the three-year, no-payment, no-interest Circuit City TV loan. The catch is that in month 37 you owe ALL back interest — usually about double the original charge.

The guys talking about resets are trying to confuse the situation. The option- arm loan was very popular through  [January-March 2007] - so take 40 months from that date, plus 3 months for them to go 90 days late and then and only will you see foreclosures start to level off.

Yikes. I hope all of you are able to make your mortgage payments. And if you have an option-ARM, please at least pay the interest.

(Hat tip to Herb Greenberg!)