It’s almost the end of May and that means it’s time for our monthly look at the real estate market! WARNING: Some of these properties may be too intense for discriminating viewers.

COUNTY: Marin
PRICE: $319,900
I wanted to call this, “Does a homeowner poop in the woods?” because of the obviously unusable toilet (it doesn’t appear connected to a wall or actual pipes.) But the agent does give you lovely views of redwoods that will take your mind off all the holes in the wall, floor and flooded basement. And maybe they do, if you live in the trees rather than this little “cabin.” My favorite piece of chatter is “easy access to downtown larkspur and madrone park.” Yes, easy access through your own wall!

Still, it’s Larkspur and an easy commute to San Francisco. May need a ladder from the garage to get to the house, though. Originally priced at $519,000 in January, owner has dropped it a believable four times. Only 690 sq. ft and two bedrooms, one kind-of bathroom. It was previously bought in August 2006 for $581,000, which may account for its possible mid-flip status. All yours for $464/ft.

COUNTY: Contra Costa PRICE: $61,500
Yeah, you read that right. This is Richmond, where a large amount of inventory is “4 Sale” or simply abandoned. This house, a two-bedroom, one-bath bungalow has been reduced 12 times since July (it started at $270,000) and is referred to as “needs repairs and tlc.” No other photos which I think never bodes well. I like scary honesty best. $110/ft.

COUNTY: Alameda PRICE: $139,900
Own your own theater in Oakland! OK, I saw this and immediately thought of a community theater box office. The entire 917-square-foot, two-bedroom, one-bath home is a big question mark, including how apparently how it’s built about 18 inches perpendicular from its neighbor. Love the chatter:
This tucked away freakishly situated secret small bungalow snuggled with blocked views on a little street off the beaten path asphalt and barbed wire could use some paint & love! And $150,000 Recently updated kitchen, small tinyfenced yard, utililty room off kitchen, and cozy microscopic fireplace in living room, locked storage — great opportunity awaiting a smart new homeowner!
You have to know when a highlight is the “locked storage,” there’s trouble ahead. But good luck! $153/ft.

COUNTY: San Mateo
PRICE: $375,449
It took several pages of listings to find one in Redwood City that was more than 1,000 square feet. Finally I found this minor feat of engineering , 1,290 square feet on a 2,500-square-foot lot. This three-bedroom, two bath also has a carport that apparently is unnecessary when one can park on the 4′ by 6′ lawn. It previously sold for $600,000 (yes, you saw that right) in December 2004. Price has been reduced twice from $445,349 and been on the market for 58 days.
Aside from its outside unsightliness, the interior isn’t terrible and as long as there are no more than two cars ever, it might be OK. $291/ft.