The following probably wasn’t the best use of my weekend, but with reports that Major League Baseball Commissioner (and former Milwaukee Brewers owner) Bud Selig will hear from his committee on the Oakland A’s stadium situation, I dreampt up a conversation between Selig and his old University of Wisconsin fraternity brother, A’s co-owner Lew Wolff. Although the popular assumption is that Wolff will be able to move the team to San Jose, this make believe dialogue is premised on Selig telling Wolff that he’ll have to stay in the East Bay. BTW, the above photo is from a recent San Francisco Magazine story on the A’s.

Here she goes:

Bud: Lew, you know what I like best about you besides those green sweaters? You’re sense of humor. When something doesn’t go your way, even back in our fraternity days, you can always crack a joke about it.

Lew: You want a joke? What do Mormons and the World Series have in common?

Bud: Huh?

Lew: No Brewers.

Bud: You’re forgetting 1982, but anyway … Lew, I’m sorry. I can’t let you go to San Jose.

Lew: You’d rather we take the team to Charlotte? Better yet, Vegas?

Bud: What about Fremont? They’ve got all that land near BART and the freeways. You’d be the team of Silicon Valley, and the Giants couldn’t do anything about it.

Lew: Fremont? I wouldn’t go back there if it were home to the last Applebee’s on earth.  I tried, Bud. Most people pass through Fremont in two minutes. I was there for two years. How do you build a stadium in a city that doesn’t even let people to add second stories to their tract houses. Do you remember those protesters? They were like Cossacks ready to storm the vodka distillery. Bud, half those idiots still can’t spell my name. And the other half, pronounce it “Wuff.”

Bud: Then all that’s left is Oakland.

Lew:  Who’s going to buy the luxury suites and season tickets? Have your consultants thought about that? By the time the stadium’s built, the top 10 businesses in town will all be indoor marijuana farms. Do you really want to throw out the first pitch at Oaksterdam University Field? It would give a whole new meaning to “the green and gold.” Read the rest of this entry »

Larry Milnes died Saturday of a heart attack. He was 85. Milnes was Fremont’s public works director from 1959 – 1974, and assistant city manager from 1974 to 1989.

He played a key role in the construction of Lake Elizabeth and the formation of Ardenwood Historic Farm. He had lived in Fremont since 1960 and was a member of Niles Rotary. I’ll get some more info on him for an obit in tommorow’s paper.

From the cops:

Burglars hurled a rock through the window of Namaste restaurant at 3269 Walnut Ave and grabbed a safe.

Three storage units were burglarized from the public storage facility at 42101 Albrae St. The thieves stole a lot of porcelain dolls, Indian art and a laptop.

Fremont K-9 units was twice called int Union City, once to search for two robbery suspects near a Taco Bell and the other for burglary suspects on Atlantic Street in the industrial zone. The suspects weren’t located in either instance.

UPDATE: Ivy says she said super mall, not Super Bowl. I thought I heard Bowl, but I might just have Super Bowl on the brain. Hard to believe it’s already been almost 20 years since this happened.

I don’t know Fremont School Board Member Ivy Wu, so I couldn’t tell if she was serious when she asked this question at a joint school board-city council meeting about what could be done with the NUMMI plant after it closes in two months:

“Like if you had a Super Bowl or something, that would be totally different from the existing use?” she asked.

Wu and board member Lily Mei both asked about how Fremont Schools would fare under Fremont’s plan to raise a lot more money for redevelopment projects. The Argus ran an op-ed recently saying that the proposal would cost schools millions.

But the school district’s top money man Bill Stephens says that’s not the case, and the district supports the redevelopment proposal.

I’m still trying to figure out how it all works.

From my mother,

Tony Seminerio, the Assemblyman I interned with for the first half of 1996, was sentenced Friday to six years in jail after pleading guilty to a bribery and extortion scheme.

Basically he neglected to leave office before becoming a consultant.

Too bad he did what he did, because Tony’s a nice guy. He provided a safe haven for all of Albany’s smokers (the 10-square-feet surrounding to my desk), treated his staff to weekly Italian feasts and was always happy to bet on the horses.

He didn’t even get offended when I made an ill-advised fat joke about him after he handed me the mic at his annual fundraiser in Queens. I said something to the extent of me not being able to fill his shoes or his pants. It bombed on many levels. I blame the open bar.

When I decided to leave Albany to work in Israel, not long after a spate of bus bombings, he kept telling me it was too dangerous.  But Israel was fine, and so were Egypt and Jordan. I can’t say I hope prison will be fine for Tony; I’m sure it won’t be. But I hope the time passes quickly, and they let him listen to lots of Dean Martin.

UPDATE: Our Oakland city reporter writes that his understanding is that the committee won’t offer its findings to Selig until the week of the 15th, and that the report won’t include a recommendation.

Fremont Mayor Bob Wasserman said MLB told city officials that Selig would be getting the A’s committee report during the second week of February, which jives with what Dellums reportedly said. Of course MLB had originally told Fremont that it would happen in January.

Wasserman said he does worry that baseball formed the committee to add legitimacy for moving the A’s to San Jose, but is still hopeful it will favor Fremont’s approach.

“I really think that we’ve got so much more to offer than anyone else, but these are terrible times,” the mayor said.

What he means, I think, is Fremont has a lot more potential for additional development, but that doesn’t hold the same appeal it would have before the economy tanked.

Wasserman said a major developer told the city than the NUMMI site “isn’t worth two cents,” right now, because no developer would take on such a gargantuan project in this market. So the property would have to be parceled out, which the city doesn’t want to do.

The East Bay Express’ Robert Gammon is reporting that the committee tasked with determining whether there’s a viable site for the A’s will present its findings to Commissioner Bud Selig Monday.

Apparently Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums spilled the beans during a speech to the Oakland Chamber of Commerce.

One Fremont resident says the city doesn’t have a shot at landing the team.

From the cops:

Several people scuffled outside Clover Leaf Bowl yesterday. Police stopped several possible combatants, but no wanted to be identified as a “victim,” even a guy who got hit with a brick. No charges filed.

It wasn’t Santa, who was sneaking out of a home Wednesday on Wellington Place (Fremont’s Christmas headquarters). It was a 34-year-old burglar, who the resident spotted climbing out his. her window.  Officers stopped the man, who was carrying two laptops from the victim’s home. He also had an arrest warrant out of SoCal.

People are still talking about the New Haven school board’s Tuesday meeting, when it voted 3-2 to reopen Barnard-White Middle School. The school closed two years ago as a cost-savings measure to deal with declining enrollment.

Although the board voted to reopen a school, it has not specified how many students can enroll, what type of school it will be (e.g., a regular school, small school, specialized academy, etc.) or how it will pay for it.

Many in the Decoto neighborhood want a school again that’s closer to home, but some community members say it’s fiscally irresponsible to open a school in the midst of budget cuts. The district is projecting a minimum $3.2 million deficit next year, and the board will be looking at possibly laying off teachers, increasing class sizes and cutting the budgets for transportation, band, forensics and other co-curricular programs.

Trustees Gwen Estes, Jonas Dino and Michelle Matthews voted to reopen BWMS while Gertrude Gregorio and Kevin Harper cast the dissenting votes.

For the full story, click here.

Ever since the Open Carry incident at Fry’s last weekend, I’ve been leaving messages were the chain’s spokesperson/management trying to find out if Fry’s will go the way of Peet’s and not allow Open Carry peeps into their stores.

But the Fry’s guys don’t return calls. They’re probably playing Dungeons & Dragons and debating which Lord of the Rings movie was the best.

There’s not much I can do about it other than to promise never to buy another pack of Twizzlers while waiting in line at the Fremont store until I get a response.