From the cops:

Earlier this week a woman on the 600 block of Chardonnay called police about 3 a.m. to report a woman knocking on her door saying she was hit by a car and needed help. The resident kept the door shut, which turned out to be the right thing to do. The door knocker was a very drunk parolee. She went back to jail.

Also earlier this week a slender young male punched a woman in the face in the area of Walnut Avenue and Guardino. He then stole her backpack and cell phone.

Over the weekend, a short, middle-aged man dressed in blue robbed one Fremont’s two Applebees.

Also over the weekend, a couple of drunks got in the way of officers who were investigating a suspicious person call. Someone crashed into a police vehicle, disabling it, and then drove away. But the driver soon returned to the scene and was arrested for driving under the influence.

Meanwhile, at the same scene, a motorist tried to drive down the street despite several cop cars blocking the way. A sergeant stopped the driver, and determines that he too is under the influence of alcohol. Turns out both drivers were coming from the same party.