Dead cow jokes

Who’s more obnoxous: empathy overdrive vegetarians like me or callous Republicans like Mark Standriff?

Tough call.

I don’t know why my brain is wired the way it is, but I get angry/sad when I read stories like this one about how authorities had to shoot and kill a pregnant dairy cow that went bonkers at the state fair.

The California Republican Party, on the other hand, apparently thinks the incident presented a prime (haha) opportunity to pack (haha again) way too many lame bovine jokes into one press release. Here’s what the GOP wrote:

CRP Statement Regarding State Fair Bovine Tragedy

Let’s get Mooooving on State Budget

How many more cows must die before Dems act?

SACRAMENTO – California Republican Party Communications Director Mark Standriff today issued the following statement regarding yesterday’s tragic shooting of a dairy cow.

“Obviously, the stress of state budget uncertainty is taking its toll on these dedicated state employees, from fair management, to state fair police, to the U.C. Davis veterinary director who had to make the fatal decision to tragically down this pregnant cow and her unborn calf. We’re not second guessing the call. Considering the circumstances, it may have been the best decision. But it’s not fair to force people to make life-and death decisions when they’re also coping with the prospect of fewer vacation days or reduced office supplies.

“With the state budget nearly a month overdue, the Democrat legislative leaders are happy to hang out in their own corral, unable to agree even among themselves how to close the state budget gap. This is inexcusable. This is bull. This is a new low for Democrats.

“Is nothing sacred to them anymore, not even cows?”

Matt Artz