By Matt Artz
Tuesday, August 30th, 2011 at 9:10 am in Uncategorized.
A mother read her 12-year-old daughter’s diary. Big mistake. The girl apparently wrote fake entries about sleeping with an 18-year-old — all to throw her snooping mother off the scent of her 14-year-old boyfriend, with whom she had been messing around. The mom called police — after she took her daughter to confront the innocent and sexless 18-year-old. Police arrived to a big shouting match, but settled things down.
A divorced woman at Southlake Mobile Home Park invited her boyfriend to live with her in the park. This upset her ex-husband, who went to the home with a baseball bat and beat on the new boyfriend.
How fast do Fremont police get to the scene of a crime? Fast enough that they responded to a report of a 52-year-old man masturbating in the bushes on Creekwood Drive in time to arrest the man before he climaxed. Unclear if the cops were really that fast or the masturbater was just a slowpoke.
A shoplifter, who triggered Walmart’s theft alarm had no time for the store’s greeter. When the greeter asked the shoplifter to stay put, the shoplifter gave the greeter two good bumps and threatened to do a lot more.