Despite Paris Hilton’s insistence that she get a new gal pal for the next round of “The Simple Life” next season, she’s finally come to understand that contracts will be contracts.

Former best pals Paris and Nicole Richie have been embroiled in a personal war with little public comment (“She knows what she did,” Paris has been endlessly quoted about the rift).

Yet, the duo will team again for the next cycle of the popular reality series, according to Fox entertainment president Peter Liguori.

So have they reconciled?

“Not to my knowledge,” Liguori says.

Life might not be so simple next time around.

He’s no “Angel”

David Boreanaz gets a little tired of talking about his years playing the vampire Angel on both “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.”
So when he went in for a meeting with the producers of Fox’s new cop show “Bones,” he says he was ready to walk away when writer Hart Hanson started talking about how much he loved that character.

“I sat down with Barry Josephson and Hart and I didn’t like them at all,” Boreanaz bluntly says. “It was just a bad day. I woke up. My 3-year-old was running around, I was remembering eating some bad muffins…(I went into the meeting and) Hart started talking about my show ‘Angel’ and I really was not into talking about that. And I walked out of the room.”

What changed his mind was a phone call from Josephson telling him about all the advantages of doing this role, including the fact that he wouldn’t have to leave his family to go to Canada or Romania to shoot the series.

“I’d make a vampire joke, but…” deadpanned Hanson.

Just not funny

During the Fox session on “House,” reporters kept trying to get star Hugh Laurie to tell some funny anecdotes. Finally, he explained his lack of chuckle-worthy true tales.

“I’m very conscious of the world being divided into people to whom anecdotes happen and to whom anecdotes don’t happen,” the British Laurie says. “And I just belong to the non-anecdote part of the world. Anecdotes don’t happen to me. Some people go and fetch dry cleaning and they can get 20 minutes of stand-up out of it. It just doesn’t happen to me and I’m sorry about that.”

Former San Franciscan Amy Hill (“All-American Girl”) has lost more than 100 lbs. and is now a mere shadow of her former self.

So how did she do it?

“I had a brain tumor and had to have that removed,” the comic actress says. “Then I thought, why not a gastric bypass? I mean, it’s not brain surgery.”

Ba-dum-dum.

Amy says she’s been keeping the weight off the old-fashioned way: diet and exercise.

“It’s boring, but you know what? It actually works.”

Prinz’ legacy

Freddie Prinz Jr. says it’s a mixed blessing being the son of the late comic Freddie Prinz, who died of a gunshot wound before Freddie Jr. was born.

Although he’s proud of his dad’s comic legacy as the first Latino since Desi Arnaz to star in TV series (“Chico and the Man”), he says he has spent his life being a different kind of person from his father.

“In high school, a lot of girls wouldn’t go out with me because their parents thought I was like my dad,” Prinz says. “I don’t drink, smoke or take drugs. And I would never cheat on my wife.”

Well, that pretty much says it all.

Gotta dance _ not

ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson told critics there might be a dance-off to appease fans who were unhappy with Kelly Monaco’s win over John O’Hurley in “Dance with the Stars.”

When a reporter brought up the question of a dance-off, a beleaguered Monaco shot back, “Bring it on, bring it on. You want a dance-off? Come on up here, I’ll give you a dance-off.”

Sensing she might have stepped on a tender toe, the reporter quickly retreated.

Picking up “Crumbs”

ABC’s most promising comedy, “Crumbs,” is a midseason replacement series about a warped family _ and it just happens to be based on veteran Hollywood producer Marco Pennette’s real relations.

Did they go along with his depiction?

“I bought them all homes first and that helped a lot,” Pennette says.

Is anyone in the world nicer than Kristen Chenoweth?

The “West Wing” co-star played Glinda the Good Witch on the long-running Broadway play “Wicked” and bought a bunch of wands for the little girls who would come backstage to meet her after the show.

“I just loved the look on their faces when I gave the wands to them,” says Kristen in that adorable sing-song voice.

Kristen’s a favorite of critics, especially those who remember her singing to a few of us late one night in the Ritz Carleton hotel during a past TCA tour. She was starring in her self-titled sitcom for NBC.

After the critics lavished her with praise for her singing, she suddenly turned and looked at us all and said, “Hey, wait a minute. You hate my TV show, don’t you?”

It’s not easy being a critic.

Kickin’ back at the Claremont

Hunky Jerry O’Connell (“Crossing Jordan”) says he spends a lot of time up in the Bay Area now that he’s with Berkeley’s Rebecca Romijn.

“We were just up there staying at the Claremont,’’ he says. “That’s a great hotel, so beautiful and classic.”

O’Connell says he loves the fact that Rebecca’s from the Bay Area.

“She’s smart and doesn’t take all this L.A. stuff seriously,” Jerry says. “She knows what’s important in life.”

Seth don’t need no stinkin’ critics

Seth Green, who co-stars in the midseason NBC comedy “Four Kings,” had to get reprimanded for trying to ditch reporters at the NBC stars’ party at the Century Club.

So he begrudgingly took a few questions about the show that centers on the familiar story of four friends sharing a New York apartment.

But while he kept trying to get away from everyone as quickly as possible, he did get charged up about his latest venture: a comic book called “Freshman.”

“We sold out immediately and might go into a second printing,” he said, showing the same excitement he had exhibited when he thought he had escaped us at the party. “I stored a few and I think they are going to be really valuable.”

That’s right. Talk comics and Seth turns to putty.

Lady with a baby

A scant few weeks ago, Angie Harmon gave birth and then here she was up on the NBC stage to promote her new show “Inconceivable” about life in a fertility clinic.

A publicist said that Angie wouldn’t be going to the party because she was still recovering and had already torn a stitch out.
That falls under the “Too Much Information” category.

Well, the cast of UPN’s new fall series “Love, Inc.” says they’ll miss the much-maligned Shannen Doherty , who got the boot before the series even started.

“We’re all pros,” co-star Holly Robinson Peete says philosophically. “We just go in and we redo the lines. We make another friend, and we just move on.”

Doherty, who has a bit of a rep for being difficult to work with, didn’t do anything wrong this time, execs say. She just didn’t seem to sparkle as the outgoing owner of a matchmaking company.

Imagine that.

The new friend

So Busy Phillips (“Freaks and Geeks’’) got the word right before the UPN party Thursday night that she would be Shannen’s replacement.

“I found out at 5:20 while I was at the manicurist,” Phillips says, wiggling her not-quite-completed manicured digits. “They told me to come to the party (which started at 7) and I just ran out and came here.”

Good thing, she says, that she lives right around the corner from Paramount Studios, where the party took place.

RU feeling used?

UPN’s new series “R U The Girl with T-Boz & Chilli” sets the premise up as a chance to become a member of the group.

But it’s a limited offer.

The girls are supposed to be looking for someone to step into the spot left vacant by TLC’s Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, who was killed a few years ago in a car accident. Instead, the two just seem to be looking for a way to get into a sitcom.

“We’re the black Laverne and Shirley,” Chilli told critics, before both mentioned that they felt this show might be a good way to get a sitcom starring them on the air.

The series begins airing on Wednesday, and for nine weeks the duo tries to choose the woman who will make a single with them. But then the door shuts on any more involvement with the winner.

Unless they can use her as a Squiggy.

In CBS’s “Two and a Half Men,” Charlie Sheen, who has gone through some massive tabloid scrutiny in the past few months with his divorce and child custody battles, plays a music composer.

So someone asked him if he ever took the piano lessons he was planning to take the last time he met critics back in January.

“I knew I forgot something,’’ Charlie cracks back, snapping his fingers. “Damn it…Yeah, children and other things…it’s starting to feel like I should probably commit to that, you know.”

Ducky turns bitter

So the other man pf “Two and a Half Men” happens to be Jon Cryer, who hit it big in the ‘80s with such films as “The Breakfast Club.” He says he was asked, along with star Molly Ringwald, to narrate the 20th anniversary edition of the DVD.
“Recently we were recording the DVD commentary which Molly crapped out on,” Jon says, delivering the line so that it got a laugh. “Excuse me, she was supposed to be there and then at the last minute I think she couldn’t make it.”

Fart jokes

The kick-butt comedy also loves to do the fart jokes.

“We have to have fart jokes because everyone in the cast farts constantly,” says Holland Taylor.

So Angus T. Jones, who plays the half in the title, points to Jon Cryer.

“It’s a catering issue really,” Jon responds.

Moonlighting becomes them

Cybill Shepherd says she’d love to do a “Moonlighting” movie or reunion show with Bruce Willis, and he’d be up for it too. But the original producer told her that he just didn’t think he knew how to do one successfully.

And she’s happy that “Moonlighting” came out on DVD recently. She’s not so happy about her old show “Cybill,” which never made enough money in syndication (it’s currently seen on Oxygen, which paid little for the rights) to afford her a nice retirement.

“I live in the Valley and I have to watch my money,” she says. “If I had made any money on that show, I would have bought a ranch.”

Like her co-star Bruce, who earned a tidy sum in feature films.

You have questions, we have…

Q. Josh wrote to ask when Season 2 of “Joan of Arcadia” was being released.

A. Season 1 was just released and right now there are no plans to release Season 2 in the near future. Apparently the higher powers, meaning CBS rather than God, are waiting to see what the sales are like for Season 1.

Q. I SO enjoy your column. Generally, it is tough to get a good ‘read’ on entertainment, but I find your recommendations very reliable and enjoyable to read. Is there any possibility that two of my favorite shows, recently cancelled, have a prayer of coming back, or being picked up by another station?
“Blind Justice” (I’m still watching episodes on Tivo!) Great, well-rounded show. Nice character development, seemed to have some real chemistry.

“Joan of Arcadia “ _ second season was not as strong as the first, but the third season looked promising.

Thanks so much for all you do!

Steve Wright

A. Shucks, Steve. Thanks for reading.

Now for the bad news.

Sorry, but both are out the door. “Blind Justice” producer Steven Bochco is doing a great new series called “Over There,” which begins July 27 on Fx that you might want to check out.
And I don’t think CBS had a lot of faith in the storyline of Joan as sort of a “Joan, the Devil Slayer” that was proposed in the final episode of Season 2.

Donna Mills waxed nostalgic about the time she had to do a steamy scene on “Knots Landing.”

During the CBS session for the fall special “Knots Landing Reunion: Together Again,”Donna told critics that when she filmed the hot tub scene in which she was trying to seduce John Pleshette, the tub was filled with cold water, and she kept shivering.

The network execs said the scene was the sexiest scene they had ever seen.

“(They said) every time he touches her, she just shudders,” says Donna with a laugh.

Willow wows ‘em

Alyson Hannigan, who co-starred as Willow on the late, great “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer” is back on series TV in the CBS comedy “How I Met Your Mother.”

And how did she get cast?

“We became almost embarrassingly huge ‘Buffy’ dorks,’’ says creator Craig Thomas, referring to himself and co-creator Carter Bays. “To the point where I think Alyson is uncomfortable around us sometimes.”

The show centers on a man telling his kids about how he met their mother, with a hilarious pilot showing dad back in his younger days trying to find the woman who became their mom.

Some critics wanted the producers to reveal who did become the kid’s mom, and wondered when that might happen.

”Well,’’ deadpanned Hannigan, “You never found out who the boss really was on ‘Who’s the Boss.’ “

No step beyond

Bay Area native Aisha Tyler may be co-starring in CBS’ “Ghost Whisperer” but she has no intention on checking out the great beyond.

When dead-talker James Van Praagh, who produces the show, asked if she wanted to have a reading, Aisha declined.

“I know that people have walked out of these readings with James and have been overwhelmed. People (say) ‘Show me my dead dog.’ Then they’re like ‘Oh, Fluffy,’ kind of running out, ‘I’m sorry I never gave you the bones you loved.,” Aisha says. “I’m just not prepared for that. I have lots of things to cry about in my real life.”

A trip to the sets of “Deadwood” and the new Fx series “Over There” makes you realize that actors may not have it quite as easy as civilians think.

Over at “Deadwood,” the actresses _ well, at least the ones not playing whores _ have to wear some heavy costumes. So they cool down by wearing cold packs in places that, well, normally would NOT be a place one would put ice.

At the “Over There set,” Sprague Grayden plays the wife of a solider sent to Iraq in the brilliant series set to debut July 27.

She says the heat is almost unbearable for the actors playing the soldiers, so star Erik Palladino refers to her and the other actors working at sound sets “The A.C.’s” because they get to work in air conditioning.

Parental approval

Spunky, outspoken Grayden says she sent the “Over There” script to her mom to see what she thought of it.

“It meant a lot for me to hear how she reacted to this, because she grew up in Oklahoma and Texas and stayed at home to raise her kids,” Grayden says. “And I needed to know that she was OK with this character.”

SO over Model

Tyra Banks popped in to tell critics about her new talk show, and Miss All That did NOT want to talk about “America’s Next Top Model.”
She told critics in the session that she wouldn’t answer any “ANTM” questions.

Not only that, for a woman who says she wants to talk for a living now, she scooted out a back door rather than talk to any reporters.

P. Diddy spoke. Michael Douglas spoke. But Ty Baby? No time.

Charisma challenged

No, it wasn’t the cameras that made former Vice President Al Gore look stiff. In person, a redwood is more animated.

Gore came to hype his new network, “Current,” which is headquartered in San Francisco and uses “citizen journalists” to create video segments that will be used on the air. I think. It was all pretty confusing, even to Gore, who kept trying to get other people to answer questions about the network that he obviously couldn’t answer.

The ever-elusive Aaron McGruder, the controversial comic strip cartoonist who created “The Boondocks,” says he makes it a rule never to talk to the subject of strip until at least a week later.

And sometimes not even then.

“I try to forget about them.”

Even a call from the

Rev. Jesse Jackson

went unanswered.

“What is he going to say that I don’t know already?” says McGruder. “It makes it more difficult to do my job.”

McGruder’s comic strip has lost none of its snap as an animated series, set to air on The Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block this fall.

Hefner makes the rules

Hugh Hefner might be a sugar daddy, but he’s one strict papa.

Hef, as he likes to be called, has a trio of girlfriends, including Bridget Marquardt, formerly of the Lodi/Galt area. He requires that they be home by sunset, according to the press packet on their new show “The Girls Next Door” on E!

“The curfew isn’t sundown, it’s 9 p.m.,” clarifies Bridget. “So we still have time to go out to dinner with our friends or visit family or whatever we want to do.”

Ah, so Hef is a benevolent dictator.

She’s still a 10

Bo Derek’s still a perfect 10, even if she’s showing a bit of wrinkling around the eyes and mouth.

The lovely Bo, who will be hosting “I Can’t Believe I Wore That” on WE this fall, says she would never pop up on a reality program and says that celebrities don’t have to bare their souls or their lives to the public if they don’t want to.

“I live a very private life with my animals, I don’t go out where I know I’ll be mobbed,” Bo says. “People do come up and talk to me, and that’s fine. If I didn’t want to talk to them, I wouldn’t.”

Drop a note to Tara

For those who care, apparently the wardrobe-challenged Tara Reid wants to hear from you. Just e-mail her at wildontara@eonline.com.

Don’t trust a network head

Here’s why we never trust networks, especially network heads.

Former ABC entertainment president/chairman or whatever Ted Harbert was now oversees E! entertainment. The agenda notes that a “special guest” would pop up.

“I wanted that to be (designer) Isaac (Mizrahi), but he just couldn’t get here,” shrugs Harbert about the star of a new daily talk show. “I’m not involved in the formation of the program. I just show up and listen to fascinating people (on stage). Cocktails?”

Thus ended the cable portion of the press tour.

There they were, walking hand-in-hand through the door at the Discovery Channel’s party Saturday night: “Cheer’s” John Ratzenberger and “Babylon 5’s” Tracy Scoggins.

The two say they met early in Tracy’s acting career when she did a screen test on the “Cheers” set.

They later hooked up, going on their first date a few months ago - rock climbing.

“I figured if he could make it through that, we’d be fine together,” the athletic Tracy says.

John says he’s going to be in Emeryville to work on the new Pixar flick, “Cars.” He could pick any character he wanted, he says, so he asked to be the Mack Truck, since his father was a truck driver.

John has the distinction of being in every Pixar movie ever made, from “Toy Story” to “Finding Nemo.”

“Everyone’s so normal up there, because the people who work at Pixar can just pop into the dry cleaners and not see a bunch of pictures of stars who also use that dry cleaner,” John says. “L.A. is not a normal place.”

Also hanging out at the party were the Bay Area’s own “Mythbusters” Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage.

Jamie says the two have been hitting the TV and radio interview circuit promoting their “Shark Week Special” that aired Sunday night on the Discovery Channel and they’ve gotten a bit weary of answering questions like what was the best/worst/scariest/favorite experiment.

“After this many shows, it’s hard to remember,” says Jamie, who adds that one of their latest experiments about crushing a Volkswagen between two trucks was pretty cool.

Some decadence

While the Discovery Channel’s evening event was low-key and tasteful, the after-party held by the GSN - The Game Show Network - fairly screamed wacky decadence.

In short, it was the perfect Hollywood party.

Round hot-tub sized waterbeds with vibrating pillows beckoned weary writers, while both the booze and the chocolate flowed like a Yosemite waterfall.

Now that GSN has contracted to air former seasons of “The Amazing Race,” quite a few of the past competitors showed up, including Chip and Kim McAllister, winners of last year’s competition.

“Hey, Oakland Tribune!” Chip beamed. “I used to be an Oakland Tribune paperboy back in 1971.”

Turns out the Southern Californian used to spend summers up in Richmond, Oakland and El Cerrito visiting his dad Phil McAllister, who now lives in Lafayette.

With the music pounding in the background, it was still crowded at the party at midnight when it was time to call it a night for me and the McAllisters.

As we bid farewell, I spotted a pink vibrating pillow Chip had snatched from the party.
A million dollars and he still lifts the party pillows.

As usual, the cable portion of the TV critics press tour was packed tighter than Dolly Parton’s blouse. Stars from Kathy Griffin to Kirk Douglas packed 15 sessions addressing the critics about their various projects.

Internet darling Rockne S. O’Bannon, the creator of the now defunct “Farscape,” now helms the Sci Fi Channel’s “The Triangle.” The film is set against the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle and airs this December.

Now, when a show gets canned, even a bad show, critics will usually get at least a few e-mails bemoaning the loss. But get rid of a popular series like “Farscape,” and the outcry could be heard beyond the galaxy.

“You marry that kind of real passionate emotional response to a show with the tendency of science fiction fantasy fans to really have strong opinions…it just makes them more passionate about the loss of a show,” Rockne says.

In a one-on-one interview later, Rockne says he’s “cooking up a new show for (‘Farscape’ star Ben Browder).

Fans of “Farscape” became an almost unstoppable force in their quest to bring it back. Rockne credits them with helping him get network funding for a grand finale to the show. (Click here to here my interview with Rockne S. O’Bannon ).

The D-lister

Just wind her up and let her fly.

Kathy Griffin, star of Bravo’s “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List” couldn’t wait for someone to ask her about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

“The beauty of it is now that Tom Cruise is so crazy, because you know Scientologists who will kill me in sleep tonight…I’m just happy that stuff is coming out about how crazy the Scientologists are because they seem to be insane.”

And then she was asked about celebrities being harassed by the paparazzi.

“I think if you are going into the Spider Club and it’s 11 at night and you’re (messed up) on crack and you’ve got sunglasses and a baseball cap and five bodyguards, you’re going to call attention to yourself, “ Kathy says. “When I go to California Pizza Kitchen, nobody bothers me.”

Rome HBO style

Ah, the glory that is Rome. Well, at least Rome, HBO style.

HBO closed out Friday’s tour by celebrating its new fall series “Rome” by setting up the Caesar’s tent used in the series and bringing in archers, soldiers, wine, cheese, drummers, beaders and fortune tellers.

There was even a white steed named Mickey. And even Mickey had feature film credits. He’s been seen on “Scorpion King” and several other period pieces. And much like his human counterparts, he liked being fussed over while he grazed.