Here’s a quick rundown of when you all can expect to see your fav CW shows on this spring. Note for the five of you watching “Life is Wild” - it’s gone:

SERIES ANTICIPATED RETURN EXPECTED # OF NEW EPISODES
THE GAME March 23 9

ONE TREE HILL April 14 6

SMALLVILLE April 17 5

GOSSIP GIRL April 21 5

REAPER April 22 5

SUPERNATURAL April 24 4

*EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS completed 22 episodes. The 12 remaining originals will begin airing March 3.

* ALIENS IN AMERICA completed 18 episodes. The 8 remaining originals will air March 2-March 23 and April 27-May 18.

The show is being described as “The Devil Wears Prada” meets “The Assistant” and it comes from Tyra Banks and Ken Mok, who teamed up for “America’s Next Top Model.” The new cycle of ANTM starts Feb. 20.

Miss Tyra Banks of “America’s Next Top Model” is looking for contestants for her next reality show.

Bottom line, do you want to enter the fashion world as a minion?

“It is a competition show about aspiring assistants looking to become assistant editors at a fashion magazine,” says Mok. “At the same time they’re trying to prove themselves as aspiring fashionistas, that they have a sense of style and savvyness, all the things to make it in the fashion world.”

Open auditions will be held this Saturday, February 9, at the Hilton San Francisco Financial District, 750 Kearny St. from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Written applications will be available for download here. , however it’s not required that you have a completed application in order to audition. Applicants must be between 18 and 27 at the time of application.

According to an article in the Hollywood Reporter, Eli Holzman, who developed “Project Runway” at Miramax TV, and the show’s executive producers Jane Cha and Desiree Gruber, fashion experts and managers of “Runway” host Heidi Klum, came up the initial idea for the new series and pitched it to the CW.

The network in turn suggested a collaboration with Banks and Mok in mounting the production because of Banks’ background as a supermodel and the duo’s experience in the fashion reality genre with “Top Model.”

Banks, Mok, Holzman, Cha and Gruber will executive produce the series, which has received an eight-episode order and will begin production in April for a launch in late spring or summer.

With ratings like these, if the CW was a TV show, it would have been cancelled long ago.

The barely breathing network trotted out its new game plan today, with the family-in-Africa drama “Life is Wild” missing. If you don’t know what show I’m talking about, don’t worry. Very few viewers ever tuned it. In fact, if you gathered all the regular viewers together they probably wouldn’t even make a noticible line in Starbucks.

Penn Badgley as Dan and Blake Lively as Serena star in Gossip Girl on The CW. Photo Eric Liebowitz /The CW

Not that they don’t have some great shows. “Gossip Girl” is a great guilty pleasure, and although “Reaper”never again rose to the level of its fantastic pilot, it’s still not a bad show.

Enough pitching. Here’s the line-up:

Monday

8 p.m. “GOSSIP GIRL” (Beginning January 28)

9 p.m. “PUSSYCAT DOLLS PRESENT: GIRLICIOUS” (Beginning February 18)

Tuesday

8 p.m. “REAPER” (Beginning January 15)

8 p.m. “BEAUTY AND THE GEEK” (Beginning March 11)

9 p.m. “ONE TREE HILL” Wednesday (Beginning February 20)

8 p.m. “AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL”

9 p.m. “PUSSYCAT DOLLS PRESENT: GIRLICIOUS”

Encore

Thursday

8 p.m. “SMALLVILLE”

9 p.m. “REAPER” (Beginning February 28)

Sunday (Beginning February 10)

7 p.m. “CW NOW”

7:30 p.m. “EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS” Encores

8 p.m. “EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS”

8:30 p.m. “ALIENS IN AMERICA”

9 p.m. “GIRLFRIENDS”

9:30 p.m. “THE GAME”

Although the new CW reality show “Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants” doesn’t air for a couple of weeks, we thought we’d avoid the holiday rush and let you know that Hayward mother-and-daughter Annette and Alana _ no last names _ are featured on the show.

Annette and Alana

“We proudly represent Hayward,” says the mother-and-daughter team, which unfortunately chose their “team name” to be Silent But Deadly.

School children across the country will be snickering over that one. It certainly got to judge Carson Kressley, who asked them how they could not think of breaking wind when they came up with the moniker.

The women looked truly perplexed by his questions, because they thought the name conjured up the image of strong, stealthy creatures rather than something that would make you leave a room with the utmost speed.

Still, the other teams didn’t do much better with names like “Reigning A’s,” “Blonde Bombshells” and, variation on a theme, “Redheaded Bombshells.”

Too bad Annette and Alana didn’t keep their original name, “Sophisticated Ladies,” because that fit the two so much better.

“Crowned” premieres at 9 p.m. on Dec. 12 on the CW.

Only four vodcasts under our belt and I think we’re getting better.

I’ve been using writers at the paper for the first three, then a guinea pig, er, friend, agreed to be the beta for our first civilian interview.

Thanks Angie, who is a sophomore at Monte Vista High School in Danville, for helping out. You did a great job. Chick Chat video

Comments? Offers to volunteer to be on the show? C’mon down.

You can read the review of “Gossip Girl” on the TV page