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Get Used to the Patch

patch.jpg

It seems like many people are hatin’ on Drew Gooden’s patch. Some have even said they wouldn’t want Drew coming to the Warriors unless he gets rid of the patch.
So you guys won’t grow a patch if the Warriors get Drew? That would be a great give-away, now that I think about it. Drew Gooden Patch Night. The first 10,000 fans get a patch of hair they can stick to the back of their neck, or anywhere they’d like. Or, the Warriors can do a play on the Mullin Buzz Cut Night and have Gooden Patch Night, where any fan who gets shaved bald and leave a patch gets two tickets into the game.
I have some bad news for you patch haters out there. Gooden still has the patch, and he’s going to be keeping it for a while. What’s worse, it’s growing.
The patch has become Gooden’s calling card, his identity.
“It’s like fly paper for the ladies,” said a source close to Gooden. “But if every bankable athlete has to have a hook, I’d much rather him have that hair patch than gold teeth, illegitimate babies or a rap sheet.”
See, from that perspective, the patch is a good thing. You should embrace the patch. The patch is your friend.

Marcus Thompson

  • JustPuked

    Don’t scare me. For a minute, I thought you were announcing that the Dubs just used most of their trade exception to get Gooden. Unlike some others, I think Drew would fit in just fine with the Warriors, but his contract…Picking him up would make keeping both Ellis and Biedrins problematic. Hey, I hope Gooden all the luck dropping his “calling card” with the ladies….in Cleveland. We’ll stick with the beard and some cap room, thank you very much.

  • itsagreattimeout

    Marcus, please. That patch is the ugliest most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. It has GOT to go!
    And I feel sorry for the ladies that have to pretend that they like it.

  • don jumpsuit

    um,
    we call it the munt, or mussy for short.

  • EJ

    he needs to give the patch back to ‘Sheed.

  • Anonymous

    Its not a patch its a duck tail…and it started in the BAY AREA in the 80s

  • JustPuked

    It’s not a classic ducktail.
    80′s…try the fifties.
    Probably started in LA.

    http://www.fiftiesweb.com/fashion/ducktail.htm

    Gooden calls it a Gucci Tail. Sadly, he did pick it up from the Bay Area. Let’s try to keep that on the down low…

  • James